


The Path Ahead

by TazzyJan



Series: Rebuilding [2]
Category: Les Trois Mousquetaires | The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas, The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Angst, Dom/sub, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s01e04 The Good Soldier, Forced Prostitution, M/M, Making Up, Misunderstandings, Prostitution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-19
Updated: 2016-07-04
Packaged: 2018-05-21 21:58:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 84,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6059563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TazzyJan/pseuds/TazzyJan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The boys try to regain Aramis' trust after the events of What Price the Truth?.  They work on rebuilding their relationship as Aramis resumes his duties after coming to grips with everything that happened in The Good Solider.  The story picks up approximately 6 weeks after the end of What Price the Truth?.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Part 1 is rather short but I wanted to get the beginning out there.

The Path Ahead

Part 1

“Do you think he’ll like them?” Porthos asked as he and Athos waited for the gunsmith to come out of the back room. They had commissioned the pair of pistols for Aramis two weeks ago and they were supposed to be ready today. Athos had drawn the design himself, combining the Musketeer fleur-de-lis with intricate crosses. The handles were a rich, dark ebony and the inlay was of the purest silver the smith could lay his hands on. They had even gone so far as to have the silver blessed by a priest before being melted down.

“I sincerely hope so,” Athos said. “If not, we have thrown away over a month’s wages apiece.”

“I don’t care about the money,” Porthos grumbled.

“Neither do I,” Athos assured him.

“Just don’t want him to think we’re trying to buy him or anything,” Porthos said, voicing his real worry. He had no fears about Aramis liking the weapons. If they were half as beautiful as the gunsmith claimed they would be then he was sure to love them. The problem would be if he thought they were trying to use them as some sort of bribe. 

It had only been a little over a month, after all, since Aramis had said he was willing to try and rebuild what they had. It had been hard, especially in the beginning, when Aramis would pull back from any attempt to get close to him, to get under his guard. That he felt a need to have his guard up at all around them was enough to nearly drive **Porthos** to the bottle in search of escape. 

Athos, however, had pointed out just how Aramis was likely to take such a move on his part and Porthos had wisely refrained, though there were nights where he commiserated for long hours with Athos in one of their rooms, usually after Aramis had excused himself from their company for the evening.

The pistols were definitely not meant as a bribe. They were simply meant as an expression of their love and care for him. They were a way for them to show him that he was important to them, as a man might buy his lover or wife a beautiful piece of jewelry. Aramis was not one for jewelry and, even if he was, they thought he might appreciate the pistols somewhat more.

“I do not believe he would think such a thing,” Athos told him, breaking him out of his reverie. “But we shall make sure to tell him that is not the case regardless.”

The gunsmith came out of the back then, curtailing any further discussion for the time being. He had a large, ebony box with him that was inlaid with fine silver. “I had some silver left over so I took the liberty of crafting a suitable container to store them in,” he said as he set the box down and opened the lid. 

Porthos whistled appreciatively at the pair of guns nestled inside. They were truly works of art, obviously crafted with a great deal of skill and care. He watched as Athos lifted one out and examined it then placed it carefully back inside. “Your reputation is well earned,” Athos told the smith then he and Porthos gathered the box and left the shop.

“Do you want to head to his lodgings now?” Porthos asked, eager to finally be able to give the weapons to Aramis.

“We may as well,” Athos said. “He said he planned to stay in today since he was off duty and the Captain has given us the rest of the day to do with as we will.”

“Let’s go then,” Porthos replied and they set off for Aramis’ rooms at a brisk pace, eager to see their brother as well as deliver their package.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short-ish chapter. Hopefully these will get longer soon.

Part 2

They found Aramis in his rooms just as he said he would be. He answered the door with a book in his hand, but smiled brightly when he saw who it was that had come calling on him. He had to admit, he was rather surprised to see them. Aside from the first week, they had made it a point to let him come to them, never intruding upon him in his rooms and never trying to force him to stay when he bid them goodbye of an evening.

“What are you two doing here?” Aramis asked as he let them in. He closed the door behind them and placed his book back on his bedside table.

“We thought we would stop by and see if you would like to have dinner with us this evening,” Porthos said.

“And we wanted to give you this,” Athos said quietly as he set the box on Aramis’ table. 

“What is this?” Aramis asked, his brow creasing.

“Open it and see,” Porthos encouraged. He was practically vibrating with nerves as he waited for Aramis to open his gift. He only hoped it did not backfire on them.

Looking from one to the other, Aramis took in their nervous expressions and smiled softly, hoping to ease them. He knew they were trying and that this did not come naturally to them. When they had all first fallen in together, they had done just that, fallen in together rather naturally. To have to work to build trust was not something they were accustomed to.

Opening the lid, Aramis could not stop a gasp from escaping at the sight of what lay inside. His hand was actually shaking as he reached inside and pulled out one of the beautifully crafted pistols. He held it up and turned it over in his hands, examining it carefully. The dark ebony wood was covered in a beautiful silver design which alternated between their Musketeer emblem and intricate crosses. They were, in short, the most beautiful pistols he had ever laid eyes on.

“How…” Aramis trailed off, unsure how to even voice the many questions running through his head.

“We commissioned a very talented gunsmith,” Athos told him.

“Athos drew the design himself,” Porthos added, causing Athos to blush and duck his head. “And had the silver blessed before the smith melted it down.”

“You… you did this for me?” Aramis asked, stunned.

“We know of no other so deserving of such works of art as these,” Athos told him. “And… we wanted you to have something… something of us.”

“Yeah,” Porthos said, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. “Didn’t think you’d really appreciate jewelry all that much.”

Aramis chuckled at that and carefully laid the pistol back inside the box with its twin. “I… I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you like them,” Athos suggested. 

“I… I do,” Aramis assured him, then hesitated. Had any other paramour given him such an extravagant gift he would wonder what it was they wanted in return. And while he was not normally the one being pursued, it had occurred that way a time or two in the past. For a potential love to give him a gift such as this, it would normally mean they expected him to grace their bed. 

“Aramis?” Athos asked, sensing something was wrong.

Aramis looked at Athos then turned his attention to Porthos. He could see the fear and worry on both of their faces and realized that was exactly what they were scared of. That he would see their gift as more than simply a gift. That he would think they were trying to buy their way into his bed. The very thought was not only ludicrous but insulting and he owed his brothers an apology for thinking it for even a moment.

“I am sorry, brothers,” Aramis said, shaking his head. “I… can be a very foolish man sometimes. They are exquisite and I love them and I thank you for them very much. Perhaps later we can take them to the shooting range and see if they are as accurate as they are beautiful, though I am quite confident that they are.”

“You are cautious,” Athos told him, “and wise to be. We understand the gift is… excessive. And we understand how that might be taken. That you do not… we are grateful.”

“You are my brothers,” Aramis told him. “First and foremost you are my brothers. That will never change. And my brothers would never be so crass as to try to buy their way into my bed.”

“You are not a whore,” Porthos said quiet but firm.

“That is right, my dear friend. I am not and my brothers do not treat me as such. This is why I say that I was being foolish a moment ago. I… forgot that I am not a whore any longer.”

“You were never a whore,” Porthos argued.

“I love that you truly believe that, the both of you,” Aramis said. “But it is the truth. I have not, however, been one since we have been together and I do not plan on ever being one again.”

“Aramis…” Athos began unsure what he wanted to say.

“It is alright, my friend. It is the past and it is not important. Not anymore. Let us talk of more pleasant things, like my beautiful new guns. I can only imagine how much these must have cost the two of you.”

“You are more than worth it,” Athos told him. “Though we will be taking our meals at the garrison for the next few weeks I am sure.”

“Then let me buy us all dinner tonight as a proper thank you,” Aramis laughed.

“That is not necessary,” Porthos said.

“Neither was this,” Aramis replied, gesturing toward the pistols. “But you wished to show me your love and care in a tangible manner. I would do the same, though mine will not be so permanent as yours I am afraid.”

“Dinner it is then,” Athos smiled.


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

Since Aramis was treating, dinner was at an out of the way inn that few Musketeers ever went to. It meant that no one there really knew them, other than Aramis that was, giving them a sense of anonymity that they normally did not have. It was nice for a change.

As they ate, Athos and Porthos brought Aramis up to date on what he had missed that day. It was not much as the Captain was still keeping them close to home, as it were. “When do you think he’s going to start sending us on missions again?” Aramis asked as he refilled their glasses.

“Hopefully soon,” Porthos replied. “I’m getting kinda tired of patrols and Palace duty.”

“I think he worries that we are still not functioning as a unit the way we used to,” Athos said. “He does not want the… situation with our personal lives to affect our work.”

“He’s afraid we won’t trust each other enough and it’ll get one of us killed in other words,” Porthos griped.

“Just so,” Athos replied.

“I can speak to him, if you would like,” Aramis replied quietly. “I realize the fault is mine. I can assure him that my trust in you is unshaken where our duty is concerned.”

Athos actually closed his eyes at the pain that statement caused him. That Aramis could even differentiate between the types of trust he had in them hurt. And they had no one to blame but themselves in this.

“Athos?” Aramis called, laying a hand on his friend’s arm.

“I am fine,” Athos said, opening his eyes and regarding the other man.

“You are not,” Aramis countered.

“That there are different ways you trust us and different levels of trust for those ways pains me,” he explained. “But that is not your fault and you should not let it trouble you.”

“Your pain will always trouble me,” Aramis told him.

“And that fact alone is enough to give me hope,” Athos said. “For if you did not still care for me, for us, it would not be so.”

“This is true,” Aramis said as he let go of Athos’ arm. Now that dinner was finished, he considered asking them back to his rooms to continue the conversation where they would not be overheard. While this inn was rather private, he still preferred something a little more cozy. He was hesitant, though. He had found that it was much easier to leave someone else’s lodgings when he wished to than to eject someone from his own when he wanted them gone. While he did not think his brothers would prove difficult in this regard, it could still become awkward.

“What is it?” Athos asked when Aramis grew quiet.

“I was just thinking of where we might continue this conversation,” Aramis said, hedging a bit. 

Athos studied him for a moment and noticed his nervousness. He glanced at Porthos and saw that he, too, had picked up on it. “Perhaps we should adjourn to my lodgings?” Athos suggested. “I have a few bottles of wine there we could enjoy while we finish our discussion.”

Aramis looked up at Athos and smiled brightly. “I would like that, yes,” he said. 

Aramis quickly settled their tab then joined his companions outside the inn. Unbeknownst to them, however, the inn had not been quite as private as they had thought. Neither had their conversation. As Lizette watched the Musketeers leave, she smiled to herself. Milady was going to love hearing about this.

The walk back to Athos’ lodgings was made in companionable silence. While they were all three thinking separate things, there was an underlying theme to all of their thoughts and that was the status of their relationship. 

Athos was rather pleased with how things were going. He had known it was going to be a slow process. Rebuilding trust always was. Most of the time, it was an impossible feat as putting the past aside was simply too hard. But there was so much already between them, so many times they had relied on each other and been there for each other that he thought they would be able to do it. They were certainly determined enough. And Aramis was adamant about not abandoning their brotherhood. 

Porthos knew he was being impatient. He tried to make himself take things one day at a time and not get his hopes up but it was so hard. Every day he saw Aramis and remembered what it was like to _have_ Aramis and now… now they most certainly did _not_ have Aramis and it ate him up inside. He hated that he had done this, that he had hurt and betrayed his brother so badly that he was afraid to reach out for him now. But Aramis was trying and, more importantly, he was allowing Porthos to try. So he would take it one day at a time and take whatever Aramis felt able to offer them and be damn grateful for it.

Aramis knew he was putting his brothers through Hell. He was trying. He truly was. But trust had never come easy for him. It was one of the reasons he had engaged in affair after affair. He had no desire to truly settle down with any one woman. To do that, he would have had to trust the woman in question and the last woman he had trusted that much had not trusted him at all. Not even enough to be honest with him. 

He knew his brothers deserved better. They had, after all, proven themselves dozens of times over. Yet it was hard to forget those weeks when he had needed them so desperately, when his entire world had been crumbling around him. He had called out to them then and they had turned their backs on him. He knew they regretted it now but the damage had been done and it was nearly impossible to shut that little voice in his head up now. The one that said not to trust them, that they would only betray him again, that he was better off alone.

Inside Athos’ rooms, Aramis looked for the promised wine while Athos and Porthos built up the fire. Once they had it going, they all made themselves comfortable on the floor, leaning back against the bed and passed the wine bottle back and forth between them.

“This is nice,” Aramis said once they were half way through the first bottle. 

“It is, isn’t it?” Porthos replied. He liked this as well. Lately whenever he was back in Athos’ rooms, it was him and Athos alone commiserating about how much they missed Aramis. Having him here with them again felt like old times. 

“Indeed,” Athos agreed. 

“I… I have missed this,” Aramis admitted a bit shyly. 

“We are here for you, brother,” Athos told him. “Whenever you wish us. However you wish us. You have but to call upon us.”

“I know,” Aramis said. “But I do not wish to tease… or be cruel. I know this is hard for you both.”

“It would be a thousand times harder without you by our side,” Athos told him. “Your presence makes the time bearable. Please do not take that from us in a misguided attempt to spare us pain.”

“I shall not,” Aramis said. “I do not think I could even if I were so foolish. I… I need you both too much.”

“We need you, too, love,” Porthos said. “Aramis… sorry.”

“You may call me love,” Aramis told him. “I do love you, Porthos. Both of you. That… that has not changed.”

“Aramis…” Athos groaned. Hearing Aramis say that he still loved them made his heart clench even as it sent a bolt of desire straight through him. These were the things he clung to when he despaired of ever getting Aramis back. These moments, when Aramis showed them signs that he still loved and wanted them, that his feelings for them had not changed even if his trust in them had.

“Athos?”

“May I kiss you?” Athos asked suddenly. He held his breath, unsure what Aramis would say. They had exchanged kisses already, light fleeting things. The kind of kisses brothers might share. He knew from the way Aramis’ eyes widened that he understood Athos was asking for something more than that.

“Ye-yes,” Aramis stammered, flushing slightly.

Athos set the wine bottle he was holding aside and turned to face Aramis more fully. He took his face in his hands and brought his lips to the other man’s. He kissed him softly at first, chastely even, simply enjoying the feeling of Aramis’ lips against his own. Preparing himself for Aramis to pull back at any moment, he parted his lips and let his tongue brush across Aramis’ mouth. He was surprised when those soft lips parted and he slipped his tongue in slowly, savoring the feel and taste of his lover’s mouth for the first time in weeks.

Athos could not hold back his moan of pleasure when he felt Aramis’ tongue stroke carefully along his own. He felt his cock harden in his breeches and pressed their lips together more firmly, deepening the kiss. He slid his tongue in farther, tasting Aramis, feeling his tongue and teeth before slowly starting to withdraw. He did not want the kiss to end. He never wanted it to end but he did not want to push too far.

“Thank you,” Athos said once he had pulled back and pressed his forehead to Aramis’ own. They sat like that for a moment, just breathing each other’s air.

“That was beautiful,” Porthos said softly as he sat staring at the pair. He longed to be able to share such a kiss with Aramis but did not dare to ask. For one, he did not want to overwhelm him and for another, he did not have Athos’ restraint. Besides, just watching the two of them had given him more pleasure than he had known in quite some time and he was happy enough with that.

“Would you like a kiss as well?” Aramis asked then laughed realizing how that sounded.

“I would,” Porthos replied, “but I don’t have Athos’ self-control, love.”

“You would never hurt me,” Aramis told him as he pulled away from Athos and turned to Porthos. “Or force me. Or do anything I did not want you to do. Would you?”

“Never,” Porthos vowed.

“Then share a kiss with me,” Aramis said. 

Porthos moved onto his knees and faced Aramis. He took his face in his hands just as Athos had done. He stroked his thumbs along his beard and moaned. He had missed this, too, the feel of Aramis’ soft beard. Leaning forward, he brought their lips together, just pressing softly then he felt Aramis open his mouth beneath his and he was lost.

Porthos slid his tongue into Aramis’ mouth and kissed him deeply. He moaned again at the feel of Aramis’ hot mouth engulfing him. He could feel himself harden in his breeches, just as Athos had done, his mind automatically transferring the feeling of Aramis’ mouth on his tongue to other parts of his anatomy. Unable to help himself, Porthos deepened the kiss, biting Aramis’ bottom lip and sucking it into his mouth.

He heard as well as felt Aramis moan into his mouth and Porthos let go of his face with one hand in order to wrap his arm around his waist and draw him in tight. The feel of that lean, compact body against his own made him ache and he let go of Aramis’ lip to thrust his tongue back into his mouth again. He was losing himself to the feel and taste of Aramis’ mouth when he felt the man’s hands on his arms pushing against him. Regretfully, he pulled back, releasing Aramis as he did so.

“That… was rather intense,” Aramis said, panting to catch his breath.

“My apologies,” Porthos said, chagrinned.

“Do not apologize,” Aramis told him. “Those kisses will give me many pleasant dreams, my dear friends.”

“And us as well,” Athos told him.

“I am sorry,” Aramis said ruefully. “I know how frustrating this must be for the both of you. At least you have each other to help with that.”

“Aramis,” Athos began, glancing at Porthos then looking back at Aramis. “We have not been with each other that way since you left us. We have tried a few times but we have simply not been able to.”

“What?” Aramis asked, stunned. “You know I would never begrudge you the comfort and love you find in each other. I never wanted to take that from you.”

“We know that, love,” Porthos replied then shrugged. “We just… it’s not possible for us to make love with our heart missing is all.”

“But you two have made love without me before,” Aramis insisted, becoming upset.

“Yes,” Athos said. “But you have always been with us even when not physically present. Now… you are not and that pain… This is not something you need concern yourself with. This is our problem to deal with. We have no desire to make you feel guilt or remorse in this matter.”

“I do not know what to say,” Aramis replied then fell silent. He had not realized what a hole his leaving had ripped in his brothers’ hearts. That had never been his intention. He had thought they would still have each other. He had depended on that. To know that they did not, that they _could_ not, was staggering.

“Aramis, it is alright,” Athos said, trying to calm him. “This is not your concern. It is our problem to deal with.”

“Your pain is always my concern, brother. Do not ever think otherwise,” Aramis told him. “I am sorry. I need to go. I need some time to think. Thank you both for the lovely evening. I will see you both in the morning.” With that he rose and was out the door before either man could stop him. 

“Well fuck,” Porthos swore.

“Indeed,” Athos agreed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not thrilled with where this went but Aramis refused to do this any other way so...

Part 4

Aramis paced. He had returned to his rooms some few hours ago after leaving Athos and Porthos. He had tried to rest but he could not stop thinking about what Athos had said. It had been over six weeks since he had agreed to try again. And it had been weeks before that since the three of them had been together. Had Athos and Porthos both been denying themselves this entire time? He shuddered at the very thought of it. He had not wanted that. He had _never_ wanted that. 

He had always assumed that his brothers would turn to each other in his absence, as they had in times past when he had been apart from them for one reason or another. He understood that this was different, that in times past his absence was merely of a physical nature, but he had still assumed they would allow their love for each other to fill in whatever space his departure might have left. To know that they had not, that going by what Porthos had said they _could_ not, made Aramis ache inside.

He could not stand the thought of his brothers suffering in this way, of denying themselves something as fundamentally necessary as the touch of each other, because of him. It was not right. Yes, his brothers had erred. He accepted this now, but no matter how onerous their mistake, how great their transgression, it did not warrant this. 

But there was very little he could do about it. Well, there was one thing, of course. He could swallow his pride and take his brothers back into his bed. That would solve that particular problem but it would cause an entirely separate issue. For Aramis had promised them he would not whore himself, not to them, and if he took them back into his bed now that is exactly what he would be doing. He would have no choice. He was still too bruised emotionally to allow anything else. 

“God, please,” Aramis beseeched, bowing his head. “I do not know what to do. I love them and they are hurting but I am afraid that I will hurt them more if I do this.” 

A knock at his door made Aramis jump and his hand went to his sword hilt as he went to see who might be calling on him so late of an evening. When he opened the door he was surprised to see Athos and Porthos standing before him.

“We are sorry, brother,” Porthos said. “We know you said you would see us tomorrow but we could not leave it like that.”

“We were worried about you,” Athos added.

“It is alright,” Aramis said. “Please, come inside. I would like to speak with you both.”

Athos glanced up at Porthos then led the way into Aramis’ rooms. He was not at all sure he wanted to hear whatever it was Aramis wanted to say to them but they owed it to the man to listen. Once they were inside, Aramis closed the door then motioned for them to join him at the table. Once they were seated, he looked back and forth between them as if trying to figure out what to say.

“Whatever it is, brother, just say it,” Athos told him gently. “And know that we did not mean to distress you this evening. This really is our problem to deal with.”

“No,” Aramis said flatly. “Your pain has always and ever been my concern. It always will be. And do not say that this does not cause you pain for I know it does. If you… if you wish back into my bed…”

“Aramis, do not,” Athos gasped, closing his eyes.

“If you wish back into my bed,” Aramis continued, ignoring Athos. “Then I must give you fair warning.”

“Fair warning of what?” Porthos asked. He had reached across the table and taken Athos’ hand and was holding it tightly. He had no idea what Aramis was going to say and was not at all sure he wanted to know.

“That if I do so now, I… I will be breaking my promise to you,” Aramis said.

“What promise?” Athos asked, though he was afraid he already knew the answer.

Aramis stared down at the table, unable to meet their eyes. “Not to whore myself to the two of you,” he said. “I can allow you my body, if that is what it will take to for you to be able to be together again, but my heart… it is not ready.”

Athos stared at him as the seconds ticked by. Finally, he spoke, though Aramis had yet to raise his head. “That you can think we would ever want the one without the other truly breaks my heart,” he told him. 

Suddenly, Porthos sprang up from the table and rushed toward the door. He managed to throw it open and take a step outside before he fell to his knees and began to retch hard enough to bring tears to his eyes.

“Porthos!” Aramis shouted as he hurried after his stricken brother. He stood just inside the doorway and watched as he was sick. When he finally stopped heaving yet made no move to rise, Aramis cautiously knelt down beside him and lay a hand between his shoulders. He could feel the fine tremors that ran through him and turned his head to look for Athos.

“Let us get him back inside,” Athos said from beside him. He moved to the other side of Porthos and together they lifted him to his feet and walked him back into Aramis’ rooms. They sat him at the table and Aramis quickly went about finding his strongest bottle of wine and pouring the man a generous glass.

“Drink this,” Aramis said as he set the glass in front of his brother. 

Porthos reached out and took the glass with a somewhat shaky hand. He gulped the wine down without even tasting it and set the glass back on the table. He took a deep breath and then another. Finally, when he no longer felt like he was going to shake apart, he leaned his head back and stared up at the ceiling.

“Forgive me, brothers,” he said wearily. “I did not mean to make such a scene.”

“It is alright,” Aramis said softly. “I did not mean to upset you so. I… I do not know what to do. I have no wish to hurt you. And I refuse to lie to you.”

“Why do you think you need to do anything?” Athos asked, trying to approach the problem from a logical front. He sat back down at the table and took one of Porthos’ hands in his own. He had a feeling this conversation was going to be a rather uncomfortable one for them and his brother was already upset.

“I do not like to see you in pain,” Aramis said. “Especially pain that I have caused.”

“You did not cause this pain,” Athos replied. “You have not forbidden us. In fact, you have gone so far as to encourage us to be together in your absence. It is we who have chosen not to do so. So I ask you again, why do you feel as if you need do anything?”

“You cannot expect me to simply sit by and watch while…”

“Why not?” Athos interjected.

Aramis just stared at him as if he had asked him why the sky was blue or why grass was green. To him, the question was so fundamental that it defied even having an answer. The answer was simply “because”. The sky was blue because. The grass was green because. He would not, could not sit by and watch his brothers suffer **because**. And Athos damn well knew that.

“Aramis?” Athos queried when Aramis failed to answer him.

“What?” Aramis responded automatically, his mind still spinning in too many different directions for him to focus.

“Why do you think you need to do anything about this?” Athos asked for the third time.

“Athos…” Porthos said softly. He could tell that Aramis was growing agitated from the way he was moving. Normally, Aramis’ movements had a certain fluidity to them. When he became agitated, however, that fluidity vanished and his movements became disjointed and jerky. At least until he reached a certain level of agitation, then he would go almost perfectly still. Porthos did _not_ want to see them get to that point tonight. 

“I have no wish to upset you, Aramis,” Athos said, taking his cue from Porthos. He, too, could see how upset Aramis was getting. “But I also do not think you should feel responsible for this. And I would like to understand why you do. That is all. I am not attacking you, brother. I am simply trying to understand.”

Aramis blew out a breath and looked at his brothers. “You may as well ask me why grass is green,” he said then threw up his hands at the twin looks of bewilderment that garnered. “Because! The answer is because. Grass is green because God made it that way. I will not sit by and watch my brothers suffer because God made **me** that way. Does that answer your question sufficiently?”

“Aramis,” Athos whispered, pained. He reached out with his free hand and grabbed Aramis’, bringing it down to rest on the table. “That you would spare us pain… Do you not understand we would do the same for you? Why do you think we find the idea of you… of you… of what you said so abhorrent? We would never want to hurt you that way.”

“Perhaps this is our penance, love,” Porthos suggested. “Your God’s way of punishing us for what we did to you.”

“God is not vindictive,” Aramis said.

“No,” Athos agreed, “but He does try to teach His children, does He not? Perhaps this is His lesson for us. Perhaps He wishes us to realize all we stand to lose if we fail to win your heart again.”

“I was praying when you arrived, you know,” Aramis told them, some of his agitation sliding away in the face of his brothers’ calmness. “I told God I did not know what to do. And then you two arrived. I thought perhaps…”

“Aramis, do you truly believe your God would expect such a thing of you? Even for our sakes?” Athos asked. “For I do not and I do not have nearly the faith that you do.”

“This is our penance,” Porthos told him again. “And we pay it gladly if it will in any way help to bring you back to us. But only if it brings _all_ of you back to us. We do not just want your body, brother. We never have. If… if I had to choose… If I could only ever have one… it would be your heart, love. It would always be your heart, even if it meant I could never have your body again.”

“Listen to Porthos,” Athos urged. “For he speaks for the both of us in this. Your love, your trust, your respect, and those of Porthos, they matter more to me than anything else in this world. I do desire you, do not think I do not, but it is as Porthos said, if given the choice, I choose your heart.”

“I am sorry,” Aramis said, looking down at their joined hands. His free hand sought out Porthos’ and gripped it, too. “I did not mean… I cannot stand the thought of you hurting. Let alone because of something I did.”

“Stop,” Athos told him, his voice still gentle and calm. “I will not hear you apologize for trying to ease our pain. But we will not allow you to hurt yourself in doing so. And this would have hurt you, very badly I think.”

Aramis nodded at that, still looking at their joined hands. He could feel tears stinging his eyes and did not want to look up and let his brothers see how much this had upset him, though he had a feeling they already knew.

“It would have,” he managed. “But there is naught I will not do for the two of you.”

“We know,” Athos replied. “But this is not something we will allow. Please, please, do not ask this of us.”

“I will not,” Aramis promised him then squeezed both their hands. “I promise, I will not.”

“Thank you,” Porthos replied gratefully.

“I am sorry to have ruined our evening,” Aramis told them. 

“You have not ruined anything,” Athos replied. “Not for me, at least. But it is late and we should leave so you can get some rest.”

“Please do not take this wrong, but…” Aramis began then hesitated.

“Brother? What is it?”

“Would you stay?” Aramis asked. He forced himself to look up at them then. He knew his eyes were still over-bright but there was nothing he could do for it. He also knew that he was asking a very great deal of his brothers, especially in light of everything but he simply did not want to be alone tonight. He needed them close. 

“Of course,” Athos said at once. “We are here for you, Aramis. Whenever and however you have need of us. You have but to tell us.”

“I do not wish to take advantage or to act the tease,” Aramis said.

“You do neither,” Porthos told him. “In truth, I am grateful. I would not have gotten any sleep at all in my own quarters this night. At least here, I can rest.”

“We shall spread some blankets out on the floor,” Athos said.

Aramis squeezed his hand again, causing him to look up sharply. “There is room in the bed,” he said, blushing. “Just to sleep, I promise. We have done so before. I do not…”

“Aramis,” Athos said, stopping him mid-sentence. “Do you wish us to share the bed with you?”

“Yes.”

“Then we shall,” Porthos replied. “And yes, Athos and I will probably both awaken hard and aching but that is neither any fault nor concern of yours. Am I understood?”

“Yes,” Aramis said, smiling slightly. 

“Good,” Porthos replied. “Now let’s try to get some sleep. I’d like to take those pistols to the garrison in the morning so you can test how accurate they are.”

“I would like that very much,” Aramis told him. He turned to Porthos and pulled him into his arms then and kissed him. It was not as heated as their earlier kiss at Athos’ lodgings but it was not chaste either. When he released him, Porthos looked a bit stunned and Aramis held onto him for a moment to make sure he was steady.

Turning, he moved to Athos and pulled him into his arms as well. He kissed him slowly, remembering how careful Athos had been earlier when they had kissed. When Aramis released him, he caught a glimpse of the burning desire in Athos’ eyes before it was carefully hidden away again.

“Thank you,” Aramis said to both of them. “I do love you both so very much. Please, no matter what else, do not ever doubt that.”


	5. Chapter 5

Part 5

While none of their beds were overly large, they had managed to squeeze the three of them into all of them at one time or another. And while Aramis did not always like being hemmed in, especially when he was agitated, he did not object when they maneuvered him into the middle. None of them expected to be able to sleep anyway, their emotions still too raw. 

Porthos, especially, did not think he would be able to relax enough, not with Aramis pressed up against him. He had meant every word he had said earlier, but his body did not always react as his heart dictated and having Aramis in his arms again was both heaven and hell.

Aramis, for his part, felt himself begin to relax almost as soon as they were all three settled in the bed. They had undressed down to their smalls so had forwent a blanket. He could feel Porthos’ solid bulk pressed up against his back and Athos’ slightly smaller form laid out along his front. The smell of them, their sweat and leather and faint traces of musk, felt like coming home and Aramis sighed as he let himself truly rest for what seemed like the first time in months. 

“Aramis?” Athos whispered when he heard him sigh.

“I am alright,” Aramis told him softly. “I am… This… I have not felt this… this safe…”

Porthos bit back a growl and wrapped an arm around Aramis’ middle as he pressed himself even tighter against him. “You are safe,” he told him, his voice rough with emotion. “We will not let anything harm you.”

“Not even us,” Athos added. He ran his hand through Aramis’ dark hair, gently massaging his scalp then pressed Aramis’ head down onto his shoulder. He placed a kiss onto the top of it then laid his cheek there.

“I love you both so much,” Aramis said, tears choking his voice. “I cannot do this without you.”

“Do what, love?” Porthos asked as he fought to get control of his own wayward emotions. 

“Any of this,” Aramis said. He gripped the arm Porthos had wrapped around him with one hand and used the other to grab onto Athos’ hip as if afraid they might vanish from him if he let them go. 

“Aramis?” Athos queried, frowning. He was not altogether sure what Aramis meant and this sudden renewed bout of emotion worried him. 

“Any of it, Athos,” Aramis said again as he raised his head and met Athos’ eyes. “Eating, sleeping, _breathing_. I cannot do it without you. I have no wish to even try. It… it hurts too much.”

“You are not without us, brother,” Athos told him. “We are here. However you need us, we are here. If you need us closer then we shall be closer. We kept our distance because we thought it was what you wanted of us.”

“But it is cruel of me to… to keep you here yet…”

“What did I say about that?” Athos reminded him. “The only thing that would be cruel would be to keep yourself from us in a misguided attempt to spare us pain. We have shared a bed innocently enough many times before we became lovers. Do you believe that we held no desire for you all those times?”

“No,” Aramis agreed somewhat amused then growing serious again. “But it is different now. You cannot tell me that it is not.”

“You are right. It is different now,” Porthos told him. “We know what we had, what we lost. That does make it harder to be here like this. I’d still rather be here, though, than anyplace else. You think I care if you tie my bollocks in knots? I don’t. Not if it means I get to hold you in my arms again.”

Aramis opened his mouth to reply but a strangled sob tore its way out instead. He gripped both of his lovers as tightly as he could, holding them to him and buried his face against Athos’ shoulder once more.

“Aramis,” Athos crooned, as he ran his hand through his hair again and gently rubbed his scalp. “You are overwrought. No more talking. Not tonight. Just rest, beloved. Please, just rest.”

“Do what Athos says, love,” Porthos whispered into his ear as he rubbed soothing circles into his stomach. He could feel the muscles tensing and jumping under his hand. “No more tonight. We are here and we will never leave you. You are safe. You are safe.”

Exhausted and drained, Aramis finally succumbed to sleep held fast between his brothers. Athos and Porthos shared a look across his sleeping form. They had not realized how hard all of this was on Aramis. They had assumed, since he was the one dictating the pace of their relationship that he was fine with how things were. Obviously they were mistaken. For it could not have simply been Aramis’ discovery of their abstinence that had overwhelmed him to such a degree. 

“I do not know,” Athos said softly to Porthos unspoken questions. “But we shall work on finding out come morning.”

“Only if he is calm,” Porthos warned. He would not question Aramis if he was still upset. 

“Agreed,” Athos replied. “Now try to get some sleep. We have patrol in the morning and the Captain will not be happy if we are late to muster.”

&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M

Aramis awoke slowly, consciousness returning against his will. He felt warm and comfortable and safe and had no desire to surrender such to the cold light of day. His bladder, however, was being rather insistent. Opening his eyes, he took in the sight of Athos sprawled out in his bed. He realized then that he felt so good because he had been sleeping almost on top of the other man. Shifting slightly, he felt a heavy bulk at his back that he immediately recognized as Porthos. 

As he blinked away the last of his sleepiness, the previous night’s conversations came flooding back to him and he groaned at the memory. He flushed hotly when he recalled offering to _whore_ himself to his two brothers, as if either man would ever accept such a thing from him. He had no idea what he had been thinking at the time and shuddered. 

“Aramis?” Athos called softly. He had felt Aramis begin to awaken and had remained still, not wanting to startle the man. He had a feeling he might wake up a bit confused after last night and wanted to give him time to fully wake up before saying anything.

“Thank you for staying,” Aramis said just as softly, unsure if Porthos was awake or not. “I did not mean to impose upon you in such a manner.”

“Oi,” Porthos grunted. “You know how much I hate that word. Especially when you use it. You ain’t imposing. You could not if you tried. So stop apologizing for it.”

“I had no right to ask you to stay,” Aramis said. “And even less to bid you do so in the same bed. It was unfair of me and I am sorry.”

“Don’t,” Porthos said, his voice pained. “Last night… you got no idea how much last night meant to me. I got to hold you again for the first time in months. Don’t go apologizing for that.”

“Porthos is correct,” Athos added. “To be able to lie with you was a gift and we shall cherish it even if you do not see fit to bestow it upon us again. We are glad we could be here for you when you had need of us.”

“I love you both,” Aramis said closing his eyes against the sudden surge of emotions. “I… what I said last night…”

“Peace, love,” Porthos said. He could see that Aramis was not yet in the right frame of mind to talk about it. 

“Let us talk about it tonight,” Athos suggested, “after we have all had some time to let last night’s events… settle a bit.”

“Alright,” Aramis said, grateful for the reprieve. He knew they needed to finish their discussion. There were things they needed to talk out, not the least of which was his offer to his brothers as well as his confession that he did not think he could go on without them. He also wanted to speak to them some more about their abstinence and see if there was not something he could do to help them. 

&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M

They made it to the garrison in time for muster which seemed to surprise the Captain. Considering he knew of the gift they had commissioned for Aramis, he must have expected them to be rather delayed this morning. Or perhaps he had only hoped that they would. Athos let him know with a look, however, that something had not gone quite right and he gave a slight nod before assigning them to duties about the garrison for the day.

“We could have taken a patrol at least,” Aramis said as they headed for the range to try out his new pistols. “I will speak with him and let him know that this is unnecessary. He should not be punishing you two for his lack of faith in me.”

“That is not what he is doing,” Athos told him. “He knows something is wrong and he does not wish to put us in harm’s way when our concentration is elsewhere. That is all. If he truly had need of us, he would say so.”

Aramis begrudgingly accepted Athos’ words and returned his attention to his new weapons. They truly were works of art and he carefully loaded each of them. Sighting them, he fired first one then the other and was pleased when both hit their targets dead center. 

They spent a few hours there, trying out the pistols until Aramis was as sure of them as he was of his current weapons. Then he began helping Porthos with his rifle while Athos looked on, nodding approvingly as both Porthos’ accuracy and Aramis’ equilibrium improved. 

“Gentlemen,” Captain Treville called from a few feet away. He had watched them on the range, pleased with the way they were working together. He knew something was still off, as Athos would not have signaled him without good reason. Because of that, he decided to err on the side of caution.

“Captain,” Athos replied, standing straighter. 

“Go home,” Treville told them. “Work out whatever it is you need to work out between you. Do not come back here until you do. Am I understood?”

“Sir, that is not necessary,” Athos began only to stop at a sharp look from his captain.

“On the contrary, it is very necessary,” Treville replied. “Get it sorted, boys. Whatever it is. Then come back and I’ll see about sending you out on missions again.”

“Yes, Sir,” Athos replied.


	6. Chapter 6

Part 6

The walk back to Aramis’ lodgings was done in silence. When they were almost there, Athos stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Would you prefer if we went to one of our lodgings instead?” he asked, remembering Aramis’ prior hesitancy.

“No,” Aramis said, his voice subdued. “Mine are fine.”

Porthos shot a worried glance at Athos and saw his frown. Neither of them liked the way Aramis seemed to be withdrawing from them. It was far too reminiscent of how he acted just after the whole Marsac mess. They had worked long and hard these last weeks to bring their brother back to them, they did not want to lose what precious ground they had gained.

“Please, do not turn from us,” Porthos said, pitching his voice low as he moved up close to Aramis’ side. 

Aramis only nodded, seemingly lost inside his head and Porthos felt his insides turn to ice. He swallowed thickly against the sudden lump in his throat but said nothing more. They would be at Aramis’ lodgings soon enough. He would have his say once they were safely behind closed doors.

Athos followed the pair, having stepped back a bit when Porthos had moved up beside Aramis. He had not wanted Aramis to feel too penned in. He knew he did not react well to that when he was agitated. Besides which, behind them Athos did not have to hide his ever growing worry from them. 

Aramis unlocked the door to his rooms and let them in still without speaking. He threw his hat down on the low bench by the door and began divesting himself of his weaponry. His hands moved by rote, his mind fully occupied with much more pressing matters. 

Not knowing what else to do, his brothers followed suit, quickly removing their weapons, boots and leathers until they were down to their shirts and breeches. They did not undress any further than that, however, unsure if Aramis would welcome such a thing at present.

“I’ll start a fire going,” Porthos said, more for something to do than anything else.

Once Aramis was down to his shirt and breeches he came over to the table and sat down heavily. Bracing his elbows on his knees, he hung his head and laced his hands behind his head. He knew they had to talk. The Captain was not going to allow them to return to duty until they had worked this out between them and it was unfair of him to continue to hold his brothers back like this. 

“I am sorry,” Aramis said, lifting his head and looking first at Athos then over to Porthos. “It is my fault the Captain has refused to allow us to return to duty. Perhaps it would be best if you… if you were to go ba-back with-without me.” 

Aramis closed his eyes at the pain those words caused. He had barely been able to get them out it had hurt so badly. But it was not fair to his brothers to be held back like this. They were soldiers. They deserved to be allowed to do their duty.

“Aramis,” Athos said softly, waiting until Aramis opened his eyes before smiling gently at him. “We go nowhere without you, brother. If you do not return to duty then we do not return and the Captain knows this.”

“It is not fair to you,” Aramis argued.

“Hang fair,” Porthos spat as he got up from starting the fire and moved to join them at the table. “I don’t give a damn about fair. I give a damn about you.”

“We were doing quite well, I thought,” Athos said. “Then we hit a bit of a… bump in the road. We shall recover from it. But we must talk about it in order to do so. Do you feel up to doing that now or would you prefer to wait?”

“I do not know if I will ever feel up to discussing how I behaved last night but I know it must be done,” Aramis answered. “I have no excuse…”

“You need none,” Porthos told him quickly and firmly.

“You seem to think you have done wrong in some way,” Athos said. “We do not agree.”

“Are you forgetting about the part where I offered to be your whore, brothers?” Aramis reminded them darkly, the self-loathing clear in his voice.

“There is nothing on this earth that will allow us to forget that, brother,” Athos told him calmly. “But it was born out of desperation and a sincere desire to help not manipulate. How can we fault you for wanting to ease our pain?”

“You make me sound so noble,” Aramis scoffed, “when you know I am nothing but a wh…”

“Don’t you dare,” Porthos growled. “I happen to love the man you’re putting down and I won’t stand for it. You understand me?”

“Porthos, it is only the truth,” Aramis told him but his voice had gone quiet as if he was trying not to hurt his brother with the harshness of his words.

“No, it is not and I will not listen to such insults to your person!”

“Peace, Porthos,” Athos said, reaching out and laying a hand on the big man’s arm to try to calm him. 

“I am sorry,” Aramis said and reached out to rest a hand on the arm Athos was not holding on to. “I am sorry. I will not speak so, brother.”

“You are my brother and I almost lost you,” Porthos told him, the words seeming to force their way out of his throat. “Still might before all is said and done and to hear such things spoken about you, I cannot bear it.”

“Forgive me,” Aramis said softly, bowing his head in contrition. 

“Aramis, are you able to tell us why it is you did that?” Athos asked, hoping to steer the conversation to somewhat safer territory while still discussing the things they had to discuss. “I feel there must be more to it than simply the fact that Porthos and I have been abstinent.”

“That… that really was the reason,” Aramis replied then stared down at the table. “That and feeling that it was my fault you were doing so. Or had no choice but to do so.”

“I tell you again, it is not your fault,” Athos said. “It is of our own doing. Perhaps Porthos had the right of it and it is our penance for hurting you. It is, after all, at least one way to show you we are sincere.”

“I do not doubt you,” Aramis told him. “I do not doubt you at all. I know you are sincere. I…”

“What is it?” Porthos asked, seeing Aramis getting worked up again. 

“I miss you both so much,” Aramis said, tightening his grip on Porthos’ arm. “Being without you, it hurts so much, it is a constant ache whenever we are apart.”

“Why didn’t you tell us?” Athos asked, stunned.

“Tell you what? That I could not stand being apart from you but yet you could only come so close?” Aramis laughed darkly. “I know I can be a bastard at times, Athos, but even I am not that sadistic.”

“Hey, what did I say about running yourself down?” Porthos chided gently.

“That was mere fact, Porthos, and you know it,” Aramis countered. 

“To answer your question, Aramis, yes, that is exactly what you should have said,” Athos replied. “Do you think we would have denied you?”

“No, I know you would not have. That is the problem,” Aramis said. “You would have stayed by my side as near or as far as I dictated, accepting whatever scraps I saw fit to throw you. If I ever become the kind of man that could treat you in such a manner, I do hope one of you would do me the kindness of burying your blade in my back.”

“That you do not think we would deserve such treatment, after all we have done to you, amazes me,” Porthos said, his eyes wet with tears he would not let fall. “You would have every right to hold us at bay. If we were clamoring for your attention, for your affection, that is no fault of yours.”

“It is if I allowed it,” Aramis said. “It is if I gave hope where there should not have been. Or should not have been *yet*, I should say.”

“So you suffered alone for our sakes,” Athos said, frowning at the realization. “Again.”

“At least this time it was my choice,” Aramis offered, smiling faintly.

“Was it?” Athos asked. “For if we had not wounded you so grievously in the first place, none of this would be necessary. Our actions made it so you felt you could not come to us with your need. Our actions made you… made you fear us or our reactions at any rate. We left you no choice.”

“You cannot blame yourself for my choices, Athos.”

“Why not? You seem quite determined to blame yourself for ours,” Athos retorted.

Aramis opened his mouth then closed it again. “Well played,” he said at last, tipping his head.

“I have no desire to spar with you in this,” Athos told him. 

“I know,” Aramis conceded. “I cannot help but feel some degree of responsibility, though. And I would like to find some way to help you with this. The thought of you being without each other, it pains me.”

“Yeah? Well, the thought of you being all alone doesn’t feel too good to us, either,” Porthos added. 

Aramis looked at him them and paused. He had not considered that. He had not considered that while his brothers may not be enjoying each other in a carnal manner, they could still rely on one another’s presence. Aramis, on the other hand, did not even have that much. In his brothers’ eyes, he was completely alone.

“I had not thought about it quite like that,” Aramis admitted. 

“We had,” Porthos said. “It’s one of the reasons we just… couldn’t. One of us would start thinking about you, all by yourself without anyone to even keep you warm at night, and well…”

“We did try,” Athos added. “But Porthos is correct. One of us would invariably start to think about you and the mood would be lost. We cannot stand the thought of you being alone.”

“Of course, that’s us assuming you were alone all those nights,” Porthos added under his breath, though still loud enough for the other two men to hear.

Aramis just stared at him, his mouth agape. He looked at Athos and saw a faint blush had crept across his face and neck then looked back at Porthos. He opened his mouth to reply then bit down on the sharp retort. Snapping at him would not do them any good. And he had known Porthos long enough to know that this was his way of asking a question he did not really want to know the answer to but could not go on without knowing either.

Taking a breath, Aramis forced himself to let go of the hurt his brother’s words had caused and smiled gently at him. “If this is your way of asking me if I have taken any other to my bed these past weeks then the answer is no. I am not so dishonorable a man as to take another to my bed behind your backs. I would not do that to you, brothers. Not ever.”

“I’m sorry,” Porthos said, looking ashamed of himself. “I did not mean…”

“It is fine,” Aramis assured him. “You were right to ask. Better to know than to wonder and worry. And there is nothing you cannot ask me.”

“Thank you,” Athos told him. “We did not really think it, but…”

“But you are not accustomed to seeing me go months without companionship of some sort,” Aramis supplied. “I know. But as I said, I have not been a whore in a long time. I have no true wish to be one again. And since my heart is most assuredly taken by the two of you, I have no desire to give my body to anyone else.”

“We wouldn’t blame you,” Porthos said. “You know that, right? A man’s got needs and we got no claim on you. Not anymore.”

“Of course you would not. It is the same as what I was saying earlier about accepting whatever scraps of friendship I saw fit to throw you. You would take it regardless of whether or not it was your due. But while you might not blame me, I would blame myself and I do prefer to be able to look myself in the eye of a morning.”

“We do not deserve you,” Porthos said. 

“Yes, you do,” Aramis countered, making both men look at him sharply. He took in the surprised expressions and chuckled. “It is true. We do deserve each other. I’m sure the Captain would be the first to agree. And Constance, she would agree completely.

“I am sorry this is all taking me so long to get over,” Aramis sighed. “I am trying. I was just so angry with you both. Once I got over being hurt, once I got over being too numb to feel anything at all.”

Athos and Porthos both winced but remained silent. Aramis did not often talk about his feelings during “That Time”. He would deflect. He would change the subject. He would simply refuse to speak. He did not open up and talk about what he had felt. They knew he had been hurt and angry, anyone with eyes had known that much, but he had never spoken about it outside of those few days he had stayed with Constance and d’Artagnan.

When Aramis fell silent as well and it appeared as though he was not going to continue, Athos decided to take a chance. “Please,” he implored, “talk to us. Tell us how we can help you. Tell us… tell us anything. We are here. We will not turn away from you again.”

“I know,” Aramis replied. “But there is not much worth telling. The secrets of Savoy will die with me and the Captain. You need not burden yourselves with them.”

Athos tried not to let his disappointment show. It was not that he wanted to know for, in truth, he did not care at this point. He only wanted there to be someone that Aramis could talk to about it but it was clear that someone would not be him.

“Then tell us about you,” Porthos tried. “You said you were numb then hurt then angry. Tell us about that.”

Aramis hesitated. This, he knew, was not a good idea. He did not often dwell on his feelings during “That Time” for they often became rather volatile, swinging wildly from overwhelming sorrow to murderous rage to the blackest despair and back again.

“I do not think that wise,” he finally said, looking cautiously between the pair.

“Why is that?” Athos asked.

“Because I am not always… calm when I think on that time too much,” Aramis hedged. “It is something best left in the past where it belongs.”

“How are we to get past this if we do not speak of it?” Athos pressed. “Do you truly think we can ignore it and simply hope it does not come back to haunt us at the most inopportune time possible?”

“That would be our luck,” Aramis agreed grimly. “But we have already spoken of this. It is just a matter of me getting over my own fear of…”

“Fear of what?” Porthos asked when Aramis abruptly snapped his mouth shut. 

“His fear of being left again,” Athos supplied. “Of being discarded. Of being found… lacking. Does that about cover it, brother?”

“Yes,” Aramis ground out.

“But why does that bother you so much?” Athos all but taunted. “Surely you have proven that you do not need us. Is that not what these last weeks have been about? Proving that you do not need us to live and be happy?”

Aramis stared at him, his jaw clenched so tightly he thought his teeth might crack under the strain. He did not understand how Athos could be saying these things to him. Had he not just told them how very much he missed them? How very much he needed them?

“Aramis?” Porthos called, his voice sounding as if it were far away instead of seated at the table next to him. “Aramis, are you alright?”

“No,” Aramis choked. “No, I am not alright. How could you say that to me, Athos? Do you not know how badly I have missed you? Do you not know how much I ache inside for you every night? I eat only when we are together. I sleep only when exhaustion takes me. I cannot… I cannot even seem to *pray* any longer because all I can think about is the fact that I am no longer whole.”

“Then let us be here for you,” Athos beseeched. “Let us prove ourselves to you. You have let us this close and we have respected that. Let us come closer. Let us back in and we will show you that you can trust us. You do not have to give more of yourself than you wish to. We would never ask for that. We would not *want* that. But let us be there for you, as you are always there for us when we are in need.”

“Please,” Porthos added. He slid his arm out from under Aramis’ grip and took his hand in his. “We know you think it’s being a tease or something but we don’t care about that. We know it’s not. We care about you. Last night… last night was *heaven* for me and all I did was hold you in my arms. I told you, I don’t care how much it ties my bollocks in knots. All I care about is you.”

“This is not fair,” Aramis gasped. He could feel his emotions beginning to overwhelm him once more and he struggled not to break down lest his brothers think he had turned into some sort of hysterical maiden on them. 

“War never is,” Athos told him. “And yes, we are waging a very strategic assault in the hopes of winning back your trust, if not your heart.”

“You never lost my heart,” Aramis told him. He relinquished Athos’ arm and grasped his hand instead, so that he was holding each of their hands in his. “If I agree to this then you both must promise me something in return.”

“Anything,” Porthos said at once.

Athos paused for a moment, thinking of all of the things Aramis might demand. In the end, however, he knew it did not matter. Whatever he wanted, Athos would comply. “Anything,” Athos said as well.

“I want you both to at least attempt to… to be together again,” Aramis said. He saw them about to protest and hurried on. “You can do so here, in my rooms, with me near. If you think that might help, that is. I do not… I cannot… I am not ready…”

“We know,” Athos told him. “We know you are not ready and we do not want you to push yourself in this. If you wish us to try again then we shall. I do not know how successful we shall be so do not get your hopes up but we shall do this if it is what you want.”

“Thank you,” Aramis told him, squeezing both their hands tightly.

“Whose, uh, whose rooms did we want to stay in?” Porthos asked, wondering if Aramis would prefer his own rooms or if he would rather keep that as a safe place just in case.

“I would prefer it if you stayed here,” Aramis said, but I am open to whatever you both wish.

“Are you sure?” Athos asked, understanding why Porthos had asked. “You would not perhaps want to keep your rooms as your own?”

“No,” Aramis said gently but firmly. “I have no need of a bolt hole. If I need space from my brothers, I have but to tell them so and they will give it to me or I can take myself off for a walk. If I truly feel the need to spend the night alone, I can always stay in one of your lodgings for the night, but I do not see that being necessary.”

“As you wish it then,” Athos relented. 

“But you make sure to tell us if you’re feeling crowded. Three in a place can get pretty packed. We’ll understand if you need some peace,” Porthos said.

“I give you my word,” Aramis promised. “I truly did mean what I said last night. I cannot do this without you anymore. I do not even have it in me to try. I can only beg for your continued indulgence while I try to get my head sorted out.”

“Indulgence, he says,” Porthos groused. “Listen to you. We do not offer our indulgence. If anyone here had done so, it is you to us. For you have indulged our clumsy attempts to make amends and even clumsier attempts to woo you.”

“I have enjoyed them, if you must know,” Aramis said, ducking his head a bit and smiling shyly. It was the truth. He was not often the one being courted and pursued. Even when they had first begun, he had been the instigator. It was a nice change and one he found he was quite enjoying.

“That is good to know,” Athos remarked. The look of boyish playfulness on Aramis’ face made his heart flip over and Athos vowed to do whatever he could to make him look like that more often. All too often, Aramis was calculating, plotting and planning some such escapade. He rarely displayed this playful teasing anymore and it gladdened Athos to know that his actions had not destroyed this part of his dear brother.


	7. Chapter 7

Part 7

They went to each of their lodgings in turn, gathering what they would need and taking it back to Aramis’ rooms. They stopped by Constance’s as well to let her and d’Artagnan know where to find them should they, or Captain Treville, have need of them.

Constance had taken Aramis aside, much to Porthos’ dismay, and had asked him if he was sure this was what he wanted to do. It was not that she thought it was a bad idea, she was just worried that he was being pushed into something he was not ready for. 

“I am sure,” he had told her. “They know I am not ready for… certain things. They simply wish to be closer. I… I need them closer. These weeks have been harder on me than I have admitted.”

“Oh,” she said, pulling him into a hug. “You should have said something. You know you could have always come here. d’Artagnan and I would have welcomed you.”

“I know but I had to learn how to be on my own again, just in case,” he said, and the pain that flashed through his eyes at that was hard to miss. “And while I have found that I can, I have also found that I have no wish to.”

“Very well,” she said. “Just know that we are here for you if you need us.”

“I did not think she would object,” Athos commented once they were headed back to Aramis’ rooms. 

“She did not,” Aramis told him. 

“Just making sure we weren’t pushing you into something, huh?” Porthos asked.

“Yes,” Aramis admitted. “She meant no insult to either of you, please do not think otherwise.”

“We do not,” Athos assured him. “That she is a good enough friend to you to make sure of such means more to me than anything else in this regard.”

Once they were back it took very little time to get everything stowed away and now the three of them found themselves suddenly unsure. Where before there had always been a sense of ease among them, there was now an underlying fear of overstepping themselves, of somehow pushing Aramis into something he was not truly ready for. It made both Athos and Porthos hesitant in a way they were not accustomed to.

“I see this is going to be harder than I thought,” Aramis said as he eyed his brothers. He could see the wariness in their eyes and while it warmed him to know that they took his reservations so seriously, it pained him to see them so very unsure of themselves.

“It will take some adjustment on all of our parts,” Athos acknowledged. “But we shall persevere as we always do. If we seem standoffish, please do not think it is because we do not wish your company. Rather, it is because we do not wish to force ours upon you. At least not in a manner you would not find acceptable.”

“I am well aware that we are all men, Athos,” Aramis chuckled. “I awoke with the evidence of that pressing into my back just this morning. Your desire will not send me running like some scandalized maiden.”

“Scandalizing you isn’t exactly what we’re worried about,” Porthos said.

“Nor will it give me cause to fear you,” Aramis said seriously. “You are not the sort of men who would take advantage of another in such a manner. You understand the word ‘no’ just fine.”

“That we do,” Athos agreed. “And that is all you ever have to tell us.”

“Just make sure you do tell us,” Porthos added. “Don’t go pushing yourself for our sakes. Or because you think you should be ready for something when you’re not. We’ll wait for you forever if we have to, Aramis, so don’t go hurting yourself for us.”

“I will do my best,” Aramis said, “but I may need to push myself to some degree. However, I will not do so to the point of causing harm to myself of any sort. Is that good enough?”

“Good enough,” Athos said. He knew Porthos was not completely satisfied but he understood what Aramis meant. He was afraid that if he did not push himself that he would never again reach a point where he could trust them as he had before. Athos was willing to let him try to a certain extent and with him and Porthos here it would be much harder for Aramis to push himself too far and hide it from them.

“So what would you gentlemen like to do now?” Aramis asked. “I know the Captain is not going to let us come back for at least a few days. Not until he is satisfied that we have settled things between us at least somewhat.”

“Well, it would seem one of us has not been eating and sleeping as he should,” Athos said eying Aramis as he spoke. “I suggest we eat and get some rest. Then, if Porthos is game, perhaps we can do as you asked of us. Or try at any rate.”

“I… Yeah,” Porthos said, licking his lips nervously. Just the thought of being with Athos made his body jolt. It had been so long since they had been together and he missed them both so much. And the thought of Aramis there with them, while not necessarily part of what was going on but perhaps… watching them… made him feel hot and cold all over.

“Porthos, are you alright?” Aramis asked, alarmed at the way Athos’ suggestion seemed to affect the bigger man. 

“I’m good,” Porthos said, coughing to clear the roughness from his voice. “I’m good. And that sounds fine to me.”

They ate a light meal, unsure how much Aramis had been eating of late and afraid his stomach might not handle anything too heavy. They would work on correcting that over the next few days as well. After they had finished, the undressed down to their smallclothes and climbed into the bed. 

“I know you both normally prefer to sleep naked,” Aramis told them. “I do not mind.”

“This is fine for now,” Athos said. “Perhaps later, when you have gotten more used to our presence again.”

“We don’t want to overwhelm you, love,” Porthos whispered into his ear as he pressed himself along Aramis’ back. “It’s gonna be bad enough you having to wake up to me wrapped around you without me being naked on top of it.”

“Just so,” Athos agreed. “Now let us try to get some rest. When we get up, you can tell us what it is you would like for us to do.”

&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M

Lizette waited inside the tavern for Milady to arrive. After the Musketeers had left that night she had gone around and tried to find out whatever she could. And what she had learned had been interesting indeed. 

It seemed the trio had had a bit of a falling out during the Duke of Savoy’s visit. Apparently, a deserter from the Savoy massacre had shown back up and attempted to kill the Captain of the Musketeers. Aramis had stopped him. But in between the man’s arrival and his attempt on the Captain’s life, something had happened. A rift had formed between the trio with Athos and Porthos pulling away from Aramis and apparently leaving him on his own to deal with the events of Savoy. 

Now, it appeared that they were attempting to reconcile with Aramis, wining and dining him, buying him expensive gifts, all but falling over themselves clamoring for his attention. From what she had observed, it looked like he was keeping them both at a very careful distance. Which made any number of things possible.

“This had better be good,” Milady said as she sat down opposite Lizette. She did not care for being summoned by one of her agents, especially if she had not given said agent an assignment.

“Oh, I think you’ll like what I have to say,” Lizette smiled widely. Slowly, she began to tell her about the state of affairs between Milady’s favorite Musketeers. She watched as her eyes widened and she began to smile in glee, obviously thinking of the wealth of possibilities this presented to them.

“You are certain of this?” she asked, not wanting to end up trapped in some elaborate plot of her former husband’s.

“Quite,” she said. “I verified it from multiple sources, some of them actual Musketeers. Don’t worry, I made it sound as if I was one of his former lovers concerned for how sad and tragic he had seemed of late.”

“Alright,” Milady said, deciding to risk it. It would be worth the risk if she could get her hooks into Aramis. For if she could do that then she might be able to sway d’Artagnan back to her side as well. With both of them under her, she would be unstoppable and she could make her dear husband pay in ways he had never dreamed of in his darkest nightmares.

“Shall I return to Paris?” Lizette asked, “See what havoc I can wreak?”

Milady looked her up and down. She was petite but not overly short with a trim waist and a healthy bosom. Her dark hair and eyes gave her a rather Spanish appearance and Milady thought that Aramis might just like that considering his own heritage. 

“Oh yes,” she said. “Make his acquaintance, but do not be obvious about it. Then run into him again somewhere, the Market perhaps. Avoid him for a few days after that, but try to keep an eye on him unseen. Then, have him come to your rescue. Aramis cannot resist playing the hero, especially where a lady is involved. He will swoop in and save you and feel a certain degree of responsibility for her welfare thereafter.”

“You are positively the most devious woman I have ever met,” Lizette said, pouring them both another glass of wine.

“Thank you,” Milady replied. They spent the rest of the night going over their plans, creating contingency plans should one or two of them fall through. Once the wine was gone, both women were quite confident that Aramis did not stand a chance. By the time they were finished with him, he would be theirs, body and soul. 

&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M

Athos and Porthos were not surprised that they woke up before Aramis. After all, they had not been missing out on sleep the way Aramis had. Had they known of it, they would have done something about it much sooner, although what that something would have been they did not know.

“Are you sure about this, Athos?” Porthos asked quietly, a bit worried about what they had planned once Aramis woke up.

“As sure as I am about any of this,” Athos replied. “We told him we would try. I have hope that his presence will help. If not, then we have at least done as he has asked of us.”

“I just don’t want him to get upset if it doesn’t work out,” Porthos said. “And I don’t want him thinking he needs to do anything.”

“I will bear that in mind, my Porthos,” Aramis said sleepily. 

“Sorry, love,” Porthos apologized. “We didn’t mean to wake you.”

“That is alright,” Aramis told him. “If I slept much longer now I would likely be up all night anyway.”

“So, uh, how exactly do you want us to do this?” Porthos asked then winced.

“I must admit I have not given it much thought,” Aramis said, both amused and a bit embarrassed.

“Do you wish to remain on the bed with us?” Athos asked, trying to help Aramis feel more at ease. “Or would you prefer to be more removed than that?”

“I… I am not sure,” Aramis said then began to think it over. He knew the closer he was to his lovers the better it would likely be for them, at least he hoped so. But he also knew that both of them would be doing their best to make sure he did not push himself too far in this. And, in truth, he was not sure he was ready to be in the same bed with them while they made love. Not that he had not done so many times before but that was before. 

“I don’t think he should be on the bed with us,” Porthos said. “I think… I think that’d be asking too much. And it would make it too hard from him to leave if he felt the need to. I don’t want you to feel trapped by us, love.”

Aramis smiled softly and rolled over onto his back so he could look at both men. Porthos moved back a bit to allow him room to move as he had been pressed along his back as they slept. Aramis could feel his erection digging into his hip as Porthos lay next to him and it heartened him to know that no matter how much they might want his body, they respected his wishes more.

“Thank you,” he said. “I think you are right and it would be best if I was not on the bed with you, at least this time. We do not, as yet, know how any of us are going to react and it would be best if I did not feel… trapped, as you said.”

“Alright,” Athos agreed. “Do you wish to remain in the room or would you prefer to…”

“No,” Aramis said quickly. “I want to be here. I would be with you or as close to it as I can be right now. If you do not mind, that is.”

“Believe me, love, we don’t mind,” Porthos told him. He had felt a bolt of lust sizzle through him at Aramis’ words and fought to keep from pressing his insistent erection into his hip even harder. 

“Porthos is quite correct,” Athos added, his voice strained as he struggled to control his own arousal. The thought of Aramis watching them was affecting him as well and it was hard to keep from letting it show.

“Alright then,” Aramis grinned. He rose from the bed and went out into the other room. He returned a moment later carrying one of the chairs and set it next to the bed, close enough to be there with his brothers yet still be separate from them.

“How… how did you want us?” Athos asked. While this was ostensibly for him and Porthos, he wanted to make Aramis as much a part of it as he could and having him provide direction for their encounter would do just that.

“You… you wish me to…”

“Yes,” Athos said. “If it would not be asking too much.”

“No,” Aramis said, smiling shyly. He could feel himself blushing at the thought of directing his brothers’ encounter. He could also feel his body responding in another way to the thought and shifted slightly in the chair. “Do you wish me to direct everything or simply tell you what it is I would like to see?”

“Perhaps, just tell us what it is you would like to see,” Athos suggested, not wanting to overwhelm any of them this first time around. If this went well then they could see about expanding upon it another time.

“That… that sounds good,” Aramis said. His voice had grown husky and deep, his own desire flaring to life at all the thoughts running through his head. He had not touched himself in a sexual manner since that time at Constance’s. He had tried a time or two but it had made him entirely too sad and he had been unable to find his release. In that, he could understand his brothers’ dilemma completely. 

“Aramis?” Porthos called when Aramis fell silent, merely looking at the pair of them in his bed.

“I would have you undress each other,” Aramis began, his voice coming out strangled. He cleared his throat then tried again. “I would have you undress each other then I would have Porthos take you, my Athos. Is that acceptable to you both?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realize this was a horrible place for a chapter end. Sorry about that.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not the longest part but thought I would get the next scene out...

Part 8

“Is that acceptable to you both?”

Athos looked at Porthos and saw the desire flare in his dark eyes. Licking his lips, he cleared his suddenly dry throat and turned back to Aramis. “Quite acceptable,” he replied huskily. 

He sat up then and moved so that he was kneeling on the bed then urged Porthos to do the same so that they were facing each other. He reached out and stroked along Porthos’ jaw then pulled him forward and into a kiss. It started slowly, as their kisses these days normally remained, but the weight of Aramis’ stare was like a hand stroking along his spine and Athos soon found himself opening his mouth and brushing his tongue along Porthos’ lips seeking entrance.

Porthos groaned into the kiss and opened his mouth readily. He could feel Aramis’ gaze as heavily as Athos could and it sent sparks of desire sizzling along his veins. When Athos gently pushed his tongue into his mouth, Porthos stroked it with his own, pulling it greedily into his mouth as deeply as he could, relishing the taste and feel of his lover once more. For while they had at least kissed and held one another, the kisses had been chaste things, closed-mouthed and brotherly. He had not tasted the man in his arms in weeks and it was like the first taste of cool water after baking in the summer sun all day.

From his vantage point of the chair, Aramis watched his brothers… his lovers. It was clear in the desperate way they gripped one another that they had not touched in even this manner in a very long time. He cursed himself again for causing them such pain then shoved those thoughts to the back of his mind. He could dwell on them later, now his brothers deserved all of his attention. Indeed, it was hard to pull his eyes away from them. Athos may have been the one to initiate the kiss but Porthos had quickly dominated it, gripping Athos’ arms hard enough to bruise and kissing him hungrily. Aramis could feel his own body respond to the display and pressed the heel of his hand against his hardening flesh. Now was not the time for that, either.

Athos could feel himself straining in his smallclothes and moaned into Porthos’ mouth. He gripped the bigger man by the hips and pulled himself flush against him, letting him feel how hard he was. The moan he pulled from Porthos in response was gratifying and he pressed their clothed erections together, eager to see what other sounds he could draw from the man.

Porthos finally broke their kiss, resting his forehead against Athos’ own. They were both breathing hard and he knew there was a serious risk of them spending in their smallclothes if they were not careful. It had simply been too long for both of them. Turning his head, he regarded Aramis as he sat in the chair watching them, a look of enraptured bliss on his face.

“May have to change your plans a bit, love,” Porthos told him, his voice made low and gravelly by desire. “Not sure either of us can hold out enough for me to fuck him. Not this time.”

“That… that is alright,” Aramis told him. “I do not mind. You are both so… so beautiful like this.”

“Aramis,” Athos groaned. He longed to reach out and draw him into their midst but he refrained, instead squeezing Porthos’ hips hard. He had not expected to be so over come, either by such simply touches or by Aramis’ eyes on them. He had certainly not expected to be nearly overwhelmed with the need to draw him to them, to make him a part of what they were doing, to kiss and touch and caress. 

“Athos, you alright?” Porthos asked. He had felt Athos’ hands gripping his hips tighter and tighter. He could tell that he ached to reach out for Aramis but was holding himself in check. Porthos could understand, for he was feeling the same urge himself. 

“I am… I am… more affected than I had anticipated,” Athos chuckled, releasing some of his tension. “I am fine, though. There is no need for concern.”

“How about if I just get us nice and naked and use my hands on you?” Porthos asked, directing his question at Athos but looking to Aramis as well. “Would that be okay?”

“Anything,” Aramis said quickly. He did not care how his brothers came together, only that they were able to once more. 

“Athos, that okay with you?” Porthos pressed when Athos failed to reply.

“Anything,” Athos said, mimicking Aramis’ words. He felt completely unfettered, as if he could float away on a breeze were it not for Porthos’ hands and Aramis’ gaze holding him to them. 

Porthos drew him into another kiss then, thrusting his tongue into Athos’ mouth and claiming him in a way he normally did not, not with Athos. But right now, he could tell that Athos needed that. As he kissed him, Porthos let his hands move down his arms and to the lacings of his smalls. Carefully, he undid them then pushed them down Athos’ hips. At Aramis’ soft gasp, he broke away and glanced down at Athos’ hard and leaking cock.

Smiling wickedly, Porthos grasped him in his hand and stroked him slowly from root to tip, using his thumb to smear the liquid there all around the head. He grinned even wider when Athos gasped sharply and tried to thrust his hips then moaned as Porthos held him still.

“Lie down,” Porthos told him as he pushed his shoulders back down toward the bed. Athos went eagerly and Porthos soon had him stretched out once more. He then pulled his smalls down his legs and dropped them off the bed before looking back at Aramis once more. 

“He is so beautiful,” Aramis said, his voice holding a degree of awe that his brothers generally only heard when Aramis spoke of sacred things. He had to close his eyes for a moment and pressed his heel more firmly against his own hardness before looking at Porthos once more. “You now?”

“Of course,” Porthos replied and began unlacing his own smallclothes. He was more than ready to be naked, his erection straining against his linens. 

“You can touch yourself if you want,” Athos said softly from where he lay stretched out on the bed. He had seen Aramis trying to subdue his arousal and was unsure if it was for his own sake or theirs. “We will not mind it.”

“No, not at all, love,” Porthos said as he dropped his own smalls over the side of the bed to join Athos’. 

“I… You…” Aramis stammered, unsure what to say. He took a breath and tried again. “You are sure? I do not wish to tease or… or seem as though I am misusing you in some way.”

“We are sure,” Athos told him bringing his hand to his own hard cock and stroking up and down languidly. “We know you have no wish to tease and you could not misuse us if you tried. Please, if we can bring you pleasure in this in some way, then let us do so.”

“Al-alright,” Aramis agreed then slipped his hand inside his own smalls and drew himself out. He did not remove his clothes but merely pushed them down some to give him enough room to touch himself. He glanced up sharply when both his brothers moaned but the twin looks of lust on their faces both set him at ease and made his blood surge in his veins.

Porthos could not wait any longer, not with Athos stretched out before him stroking himself and Aramis sitting a few feet away doing the very same thing. He lay down on his side, pressing himself close to Athos and covered his lover’s hand with his own. 

“Let me,” Porthos said and began to stroke him the way he knew Athos liked best. He rubbed his own erection against Athos’ hip as he stroked him and when Athos turned his head toward him, Porthos captured his mouth in a messy kiss. 

“Dios,” Aramis gasped as he watched the pair on the bed. His own cock was throbbing in his hand as he stroked himself. He used his other hand to reach inside his smalls and take his bollocks in hand, rolling and massaging them. He could already feel his release building inside of him and bit his lip, not wanting to spend before his brothers did but unsure if he could hold out for much longer.

“Porthos… Porthos…” Athos gasped on the bed as he broke their kiss and began thrusting up into the other man’s hand. He was close. It had been far too long and the weight of Aramis’ stare was like another hand upon his cock. He turned his head to look at Aramis then and the sight that greeted him was enough to send him over the edge and he began to spend in Porthos’ hand.

“That’s it, love. Yeah,” Porthos groaned as Athos began to spend, covering his belly in his own seed. His own cock was leaving sticky trails all along Athos’ thigh as he rutted against it and he knew it would not take much more to send him over the edge as well. 

Aramis had watched, mesmerized as Athos had looked at him then began to spend within Porthos’ hand. The look on his face had been one of such pleasure it had bordered on pain and Aramis felt his own body respond in kind. Unable to hold back any longer, Aramis cried out and began to spend over his hand, his seed striping his stomach as he stroked himself with one hand and squeezed his bollocks with the other, his eyes never leaving those of Athos’.

Porthos glanced over at Aramis when he cried out and the sight was like something out of one of his dreams of late. Aramis was stroking himself through the last of his release as he stared helplessly at Athos. It was the last impetus Porthos needed as well and he thrust hard against Athos’ hip and began to spend, adding his own seed to the mess covering the other man.

As Porthos panted in the afterglow, his eyes stayed locked on Aramis. For in those moments every one of his brother’s walls had finally come down and he could once again see the lover he had thought lost to him. He could see all of the love and desire and caring and lust that Aramis felt for them in his eyes as he stared at them unable to look away. It gave him hope even as it made his heart clench for all of the pain they had caused him.

“Aramis,” Athos called softly, finally finding his voice, “are you alright, brother?”

Aramis choked out a laugh and nodded as he stared down at himself, at last able to tear his gaze away from Athos. “I had not expected… that is… I had expected to feel something, of course, but…”

“We understand,” Athos told him. “It… it is the same for us. The weight of your eyes upon me… I had not thought to feel it so heavily.”

“Bit of an understatement there,” Porthos added with a snort. 

“Thank you,” Aramis said then looking up at them. “That was so very beautiful to behold.”

“We are the ones who should be thanking you,” Athos told him. “You made this possible or us after all.”

“Yeah, I didn’t realize how tense it was making me not being able to, well, you know what I mean,” Porthos said.

“Indeed,” Aramis replied. “I have not felt this relaxed in months.”

“Aramis?” Athos frowned. “Surely you have not… But I see that you have. Why, brother?”

Porthos looked back and forth between Athos and Aramis not understanding what they were talking about at first then comprehension dawned. “Wait. I mean I know you said you weren’t with anyone else but… not even by yourself?”

“No,” Aramis said smiling fondly at them if a bit sadly as well. “I tried a time or two but I was never able to find release and it just made everything hurt even more afterwards so I stopped trying.”

“And here you were so worried about us and you were doing the same bloody thing,” Porthos said exasperated.

“Well, yes, but I was alone. You two had no such excuse.”

“Except that it made everything hurt all the more afterwards,” Athos said, repeating his words once again. 

Aramis looked at him and then nodded, understanding what Athos was trying to say. “But this, this was good for you both?” he asked hopefully.

“It was very good for us,” Athos told him then looked to Porthos who nodded eagerly. “It was good for you as well?”

“Yes,” Aramis told him. “Very.”

“Then perhaps next time we can do as you requested,” Athos said. “If that is still your desire, of course.”

“I would be happy to watch you come together in any manner you choose,” Aramis told them sincerely. “I meant it when I said it was beautiful. I do not think I have ever seen anything more so in my entire life.”

“I have,” Porthos said, his eyes locked on Aramis making him blush.


	9. Chapter 9

Part 9

Porthos was not at all pleased when Aramis left them in bed to go to the market for food. He insisted, however he agreed to allow one of the others make the trip the next time. Athos had gone out as well, though in search of wine rather than food, leaving Porthos alone in their shared lodgings. 

As Aramis hurried about the market, his mind kept going back to his lovers and what they had shared with him the night before. He had truly been shocked at his own reaction to them, not expecting to be able to find such pleasure again so soon. Apparently, his body had other ideas where Athos and Porthos were concerned.

Walking quickly, he suddenly felt something slam into him, knocking him back a few feet. When he looked down he was startled to see a young woman on the ground at his feet, looking up at him in a daze.

“Mademoiselle, are you alright?” he asked as he quickly knelt down beside her. He looked her over, relieved to see no serious sign of injury.

“I believe so,” she said a bit breathlessly.

“I am so very sorry,” he apologized as he helped her to her feet. He picked up the basket she had dropped and handed it to her. “I did not see you.”

“Well, no harm done,” she said, wincing slightly as she took a step forward.

“You are hurt,” Aramis said, taking her arm at once to steady her.

“Only my ankle. I fear I may have twisted it a bit when I fell,” she said. “I am fine, Monsieur. You need not trouble yourself.”

“Mademoiselle, I would be a poor Musketeer indeed if I were to abandon a lady in need, especially when I am the cause. Please allow me to escort you to wherever you are going at the very least.”

“Very well,” she said, wincing again when she tried to take a step. “I fear my ankle may not make it unaided. My name is Lizette.”

“I am Aramis. It is a pleasure to meet you, though I do wish the circumstances had been less painful.”

“Are you hurt as well?” she asked, concern lacing her voice. She placed a hand on his chest, near his heart and let her fingers stroke softly.

“Ah, no,” Aramis said, caught off guard. “I am fine. Now, let us get you to your destination so you might rest that ankle.”

Taking careful hold of her arm, Aramis escorted her back to the rooming house where she was staying. The lady of the house tutted over her injury, giving Aramis a sour look as he helped her inside. Once she was safely passed off, he took his leave, hurrying back to the market to finish his own errands so that he could return home.

“Took you long enough,” Porthos said once Aramis finally returned. “I was getting ready to come looking for you.”

“Ah, no need for a search party,” Aramis laughed. “I was merely delayed.”

“And to what do we have to blame this delay on?” Athos asked, sensing that Aramis was holding something back.

“I ran into a young woman in the market,” he said. He saw Porthos flinch at his words and immediately wanted to take them back. He rushed on instead, hoping to explain before they got the wrong idea entirely. “Literally. We collided. She hurt her ankle and I escorted her to her rooming house.”

“Ah,” Athos said, shooting a look at Porthos when he opened his mouth. The absolute last thing they needed was to one of them to get into a jealous snit. They were, after all, trying to win back Aramis’ trust. They could not expect to do that if they were unwilling to offer him the same.

“I assure you, nothing…”

“There is no need,” Athos interrupted, then attempted to steer the conversation to somewhat safer territory. “Now what would you care to do today? I know the Captain would prefer we avoid the garrison altogether until such time as we return to duty.”

“I thought perhaps we could collect our horses and take a ride outside the city,” Aramis suggested. Being relegated to nothing but patrols or palace duty had left made him somewhat restless of late and he thought a ride through the countryside with his brothers just the cure. He also hoped they might find a secluded spot where they might spend some time together outside of their rooms for once.

“I have no objection,” Athos said. “Porthos?”

“Sounds fine to me,” Porthos said, forcing his earlier concern to the back of his mind for the time being. 

They packed some food and blankets to take along then collected their horses. It felt good to get out of the city and even better to be in the saddle again. Aramis had not realized how much he had missed this being tied to the garrison so much of late. 

Athos and Porthos watched Aramis closely as they rode, taking in his ever gladdening expression. It seemed his idea to leave the city for a few hours had been a sound one for they, too, felt lighter the farther away they rode.

Once they were a good distance away, Aramis left the main road and headed into the woods. He kept to the less dense areas, not wanting to take a chance on unseating one of them. After a time, he managed to find a small clearing ringed by trees and he stopped and dismounted.

The others followed suit and the left their horses to wander, knowing the animals would not venture far from them. In the meantime, they spread out the blankets and made themselves comfortable, shedding their doublets and weaponry as they did.

“This is nice,” Aramis mused as he lay back on the blankets looking up at the sky. It felt good to be outside and even better to do so with his brothers by his side without having to worry about keeping a respectable distance between them lest someone get the wrong idea.

“Quite,” Athos agreed. He too was lying on the blankets but his eyes were fixed on Aramis, taking in the sight of him in the late morning sunshine. It made his skin look bronzed and he found himself wanting to reach out and touch him. 

“You are beautiful in the sunshine,” Athos said suddenly, unable to keep the sentiment to himself, though he blushed hotly when he realized he had voiced it aloud.

Aramis turned his head and looked at him, his own face coloring slightly at such a romantic endearment from his normally taciturn brother. He smiled at him and reached out his hand, entwining their fingers together across the few feet that separated them.

“He’s right, love,” Porthos added. “You look like an angel sent down from God himself.”

“I assure you, I am no angel,” Aramis said with a chuckle. “You would probably be better off likening me to a demon than an angel.”

“Bah,” Porthos snorted. “You are no demon. You have too pure a heart for that. And your soul is too full of love for all those around you, whether they are deserving of it or not.”

“If you knew all of the things I have done in my past, you would not think me so pure,” Aramis told him.

“We have all done things we are not proud of,” Athos said. “We are but men, after all. I, however, refuse to believe that you have ever done anything worthy of being considered a demon. You are far too good a man, no matter what the mistakes of your past might be.”

“Athos…”

“Shhh,” Athos said, shaking his head. “We do not need to know. Not ever. Not if you do not wish us to. It is the past and makes no difference to the here and now. If you wish to tell us, if it will ease you in some way, then we will gladly listen to all you have to say, but only when you are ready.”

Aramis fell silent then, letting Athos’ words sink in. Part of him wanted to tell his brothers about his past, about the things he had done, both for coin and for… other reasons. But part of him was afraid to. He knew Athos meant what he said, but he also knew it was rather naïve of him to make such a promise without knowing the nature of Aramis’ past. 

“Nothing will ever make us stop loving you,” Porthos said after a moment. He could see that Aramis was trying to believe Athos’ words but was still somewhat doubtful. “You mean everything to us. You are every good thing in our lives and there is nothing that will ever manage to change that.”

They stayed in the clearing until the sun started to sink toward the horizon. They talked and laughed and fed each other the food they had packed. They had even spent long minutes laying side by side, holding and kissing each other, though they were careful not to let their kisses become too heated. 

“We should head back,” Athos said. 

“I suppose,” Aramis agreed reluctantly. He knew Athos was right if they did not want to have to ride home in the dark. 

“Come on,” Porthos said. “Let’s get this packed up then we can get some dinner at that inn you like so much.”

“Alright,” Aramis said, brightening. He really did like that particular inn. Very few Musketeers ever went there so it allowed them to be somewhat more affectionate with each other than they normally would in public.

By the time they made it to the inn that night it was later than normal and the place was only about half full. They made their way to a table near the back where they could talk without being overheard. Aramis was surprised to see a familiar face as they made their way among the tables and paused.

“Well, hello again,” Lizette said when Aramis approached her.

“Ah, hello,” he replied, tipping his hat politely. He had not meant to approach the lady but had not realized she was there until he was heading toward her. He had not wanted to seem rude by changing direction so had continued forward. “I trust your ankle is feeling better? I am so sorry about earlier today.”

“Oh it is much better. And please, do not trouble yourself so. It was an accident, after all,” she said, smiling up at him. 

“You should take care,” Aramis cautioned. “This is not the best of areas to be walking in at night, especially if one is unable to move quickly.”

“I shall keep that in mind,” she said. 

“Well, it is still fairly light outside. You should not have any problems,” he said. He could feel Athos’ and Porthos’ eyes on him as he spoke and tensed slightly under their scrutiny.

“Let us hope not,” she said. “Good day to you, Monsieur Aramis.”

“Good day to you, Mademoiselle.”

Once he had rejoined his brothers at their table, he could feel the tension radiating off of the other two men. He opened his mouth to explain but the serving girl came up then to take their order. After their food and drinks had been seen to, Aramis thought about how to explain.

“Who is your friend?” Athos asked.

“Her name is Lizette,” Aramis said absently, running his hand through his hair in nervousness. “She is the young woman I ran into at the market today.”

“She is quite pretty,” Porthos said softly, looking down at the table rather than at Aramis. 

“Porthos,” Athos admonished.

“I suppose she is,” Aramis admitted. “But this is neither the time nor place for this conversation.”

“Aramis?” Athos queried, surprised by his comment.

“At home,” Aramis said firmly. “If you two wish to question my loyalty I would prefer to do so without an audience.”

“Aramis, we do not question…” Athos began, but a sharp look from Aramis stopped him. He did not know what was wrong, but whatever it was, Aramis did not want them discussing it here. 

Dinner was eaten in near silence and they left soon after. Aramis tipped his hat at Lizette as they left, striding almost angrily from the inn with his brothers trailing behind him worriedly. He hated making them worry like this but there was nothing to be done for it until they were someplace where they could talk without fear of being overheard.

They walked on in silence, covering the distance to Aramis’ rooms quickly. Once inside, Aramis wasted no time in locking the door behind them, even going so far as to make sure the shutters were secure.

“Aramis, please,” Porthos said, unable to take his silence any longer, afraid he had somehow angered him with his jealousy. He had not meant to make it seem as though he did not trust him. 

“Peace, Porthos,” Aramis said gently. “Sit down at the table, both of you, while I get us some wine.” He quickly grabbed a bottle and three glasses then joined his brothers.

“Tell us what is going on,” Athos said, fear rising up inside of him and nearly choking him.

“That woman, Lizette,” Aramis began. “She is not what she seems.”

“What do you mean?” Athos asked.

“I am not a fool, gentlemen,” Aramis said. “And while our collision in the market was real enough, I know when someone is faking an injury. I have seen it often enough with new recruits trying to get out of some duty or another.”

“You are saying she was not injured?” Athos asked, surprised.

“No, she was not,” Aramis replied. “I had thought I was mistaken at first, that perhaps her ankles more delicate being a woman and all, but had she been as injured as she professed earlier there is no way she could have made it all the way to that inn. Not without being in a considerable amount of pain, which she was not.”

“So why go to all that trouble?” Porthos asked. “Why run into you and then pretend to be hurt?”

“I can only assume she is trying to set me up for something,” Aramis replied.

“And you have no recollection of her?” Athos asked. “You have never seen her before?”

“Never,” Aramis said. 

“Who would want to set you up? And why? Disgruntled husbands normally prefer a more physical approach,” Porthos said. “Though I could see a jilted lover perhaps going to the trouble.”

Aramis looked at him, hurt. “If that is the case,” he said softly, “then they have waited an exceedingly long time to put their plan in motion. In the three years we have been together in this way, I have been faithful to you, though I understand if you find that somewhat hard to believe. Once a whore, always a whore, as they say.”

Athos glared hotly at Porthos then turned his attention to Aramis. “We do not doubt your words or your fealty,” he told him. 

“Aramis, love, I did not mean to suggest such a thing,” Porthos said, aghast. “I am sorry. I know you have been faithful to us.”

“It is of no importance regardless,” Aramis said, brushing it aside. “We have much more troubling things to worry about at the moment. If they only intend harm to me then that is fine, but I cannot be certain that whoever this is will not attempt to harm the two of you to get back at me. We need to find out who is behind this and why they are doing it.”

“As well as what exactly it is they are trying to do,” Athos added. 

“And how are we going to do that?” Porthos asked.

“We have but two choices, I am afraid,” Aramis replied. “We can play along with it, which is why I acted so harshly toward you at the inn. Or I can confront her and hope that the fact that I am aware of her ruse will be sufficient to dissuade them. Either way there is no small amount of risk involved.”

“I don’t like it,” Porthos growled.

“Neither do I,” Athos admitted, “but I do not see where we have much choice.”


	10. Chapter 10

Part 10

That night they lay in bed together, Aramis securely entrenched between them. The thought of someone out there trying to insert themselves into their lover’s life for some unknown reason had both Athos and Porthos on edge. If it were up to them, they would take Aramis away to someplace safe until this danger had passed. But they knew he would never allow such a thing. It was not within him to run from a fight, especially if he thought it might put others in danger in his stead. 

“We know that she is lying,” Aramis said, trying to put his lovers at ease. He could feel the tension all but radiating off of them. “We shall be on our guard.”

“But to find out what she wants, what her plan is, you have to allow her to get close to you,” Porthos said, voicing his fears. “You will have no choice but to make yourself vulnerable to her as well as whoever she is working for.”

“Is it for my safety that you fear or is it something else?” Aramis asked quietly. He kept his eyes trained on the ceiling, not daring to look at either of his lovers. He knew Porthos was struggling with this, his reaction at the inn had made his jealousy evident. Aramis did not blame him. He had always been a flirt, even after he had taken his brothers to his bed though he had never followed through with any of it. 

“Of course I fear for your safety,” Porthos said. “We have no idea who these people are, let alone what they want. She could mean to try to trap you into marrying her or she could mean to lure you to your death.”

“I am aware of the possibilities,” Aramis told him. “But I do not believe that is all that you are worried about. If I am wrong, then by all means please tell me, but I do not think I am.”

“I trust you, Aramis, I swear I do,” Porthos said, his voice growing desperate.

“And yet you still have not said that I am wrong.”

“Because you are not,” Athos said, taking pity on his brother and speaking for him. “Porthos trusts you, as do I, but the thought of seeing you with another, even knowing it is a ruse, causes panic to rise within us that we can do little to quell. 

“We know you are true to us, that you would not betray us, but we also know that we have hurt you and that we have not yet earned your forgiveness, your trust. We are not together as we were and that… that gives our fears so much more power.”

“You have earned my forgiveness,” Aramis said, turning his head to look at Athos. “You had that from the beginning. You are my brothers. There is nothing I would not forgive you.”

“We do not deserve you,” Porthos ground out and curled further into Aramis’ side. 

“Did we not already have this conversation?” Aramis said, smiling and turning to give Porthos a soft kiss. “We are wholly deserving of each other. And we shall get through this. It will be difficult for we shall have to pretend that there is still discord among us, or at least not let on that things are as content between us as they are.

“And I realize that watching me fawn over some woman will not be easy for you, even knowing that I do not mean it in my heart, even knowing that I regard her as a danger and an enemy. But I will do what I must to ensure that no harm befalls the two of you in some misguided attempt at revenge on me.”

“Aramis,” Athos sighed. 

“No,” Aramis said. “If I thought the danger was solely to myself, I would not care. I am probably more than deserving of whatever unfortunate scenario this woman and her accomplices have planned for me. However, I will not allow you two to be harmed because of my irresponsible behavior.”

“You are deserving of nothing but happiness and joy,” Athos told him. “I do not care what you might have done in your past. You do not use people, Aramis. You never have. Any affairs you engaged in were mutually consensual. You have never once, in all the time I have known you, seduced the unwilling.”

“Perhaps not,” Aramis agreed. “But I was not always as gallant as you make me out to be. Even if we do take the cuckolded husbands into account, there are those ladies I left in less than pleasant states of mind.”

“Maybe so,” Porthos said, “but you cannot tell me that they did not know what they were getting into. You did not lead them on. They knew you were making them no promises. If they let themselves believe otherwise, that is no fault of yours.”

“I love you both so much,” Aramis said, holding Porthos to him and kissing him with a bit more fervor than he had earlier. 

“And we love you equally as much,” Porthos said once they broke the kiss. “Forgive me if my jealousy gets the better of me, as I am sure it probably will. When I see you with such a beautiful woman and I think of all that she can offer you that I will never be able to…”

“You offer me everything that I want,” Aramis told him.

“Except the ability to truly be together, outside the confines of our rooms,” Porthos said. “I can never walk on your arm as your lover. I can never take you as my husband in the eyes of your God. I can never… never give you a child.” 

“Porthos,” Aramis said, fond exasperation tinging his voice. “Whatever makes you think I care about any of that?”

“I know you care about your God,” Porthos replied. “I know you would do that, would be wedded to us, if you but could.”

“You are right there,” Aramis agreed. “I would bind myself to both of you in such a way if it was available to us. But it is not and I refuse to dwell on those things I cannot have. Not when the two of you offer me so much more than I could have ever dreamed of.”

“You do know that we would, though,” Athos said, suddenly wanting Aramis to know that he and Porthos were just as wiling to bind themselves to him as he was to them. “We would gladly bind ourselves to you in each and every manner possible.”

“I know,” Aramis said, smiling at them both. “I wish that we could. Perhaps then we would not still foster so many doubts between us.”

“The only doubts we have between us are of our own making,” Athos told him. “We caused them by our breaking your trust in us. We do not doubt you, your love or your faithfulness. The only doubts we have are whether or not we will succeed in winning you back.”

“That is not a doubt you need harbor any longer,” Aramis told them. 

“Aramis?” Porthos questioned, hope blooming in his voice against his will.

“I am yours, if you wish me. However you wish me. For as long as you will have me.”

“Aramis,” Athos groaned. He buried his head in Aramis’ shoulder and gripped him tight around the waist. “Do not rush yourself for us. We will wait for you as long as you need us to.”

“Athos… Athos is right,” Porthos said. “You do not have to do this if you are not ready. No matter how much I ache for you to be, I do not want you to push yourself into something you do not truly want.”

“I want you,” Aramis said. 

“Very well,” Athos said. “Then we shall take it slowly. For you are ours and we know just how precious you are. We will not take a chance on damaging what is between us again. I do not think either of us could live with such a thing if we did.”

“I am not some blushing maiden,” Aramis protested.

“No,” Athos agreed. “But just yesterday even being in the same bed with us while we were together in such a way felt like too much for you. I will not see you rush yourself in this just to please us. We love you far too much to allow such a thing.”

“This… this is because of what I said before, isn’t it?” Aramis asked.

“In part,” Athos admitted. “I know that giving your body without giving your heart, even to us, would cause you pain. Perhaps even more so because it was to us. We will not allow you to make such a sacrifice. When your heart is ready, when your heart can accept us again then we can be as we once were.”

“But in the meantime, we can do as we have been,” Porthos said. “What we shared last night, I have no words, brother. And to know that you still love us so dearly, that you still want us, would still bind yourself to us body and soul…”

“You two are my life,” Aramis said. “I am not whole without you. Being here, like this, is the most right I have felt since… since the Duke of Savoy came to Paris. For a long time, I thought I would never feel like this again.”

“We are so sorry,” Athos told him. “So very, very sorry. To know that we hurt you so deeply…”

“No,” Aramis said, shaking his head. “No more apologies. There is no need. You have said you are sorry and have well and truly proven it. I believe you. My forgiveness is freely given. You have no need to beg of it further.”

“I wish…” Porthos began then hesitated.

“What?” Aramis asked.

“I wish we could simply leave,” Porthos said. “I wish we could take you to someplace far from here where our enemies could not find us.”

“And whatever would we do there?” Aramis asked, somewhat amused by the thought.

“I have no idea,” Porthos admitted. “But at least you would be safe.”

“And bored out of my mind inside of a week.”

“Most likely,” Athos agreed. “Though I do like the idea of having you someplace safe.”

“Only if the two of you were there with me,” Aramis said. “For if you think for one second that I will set safely locked away while you two face some unknown danger…”

“We would never be so foolish,” Athos agreed. “Which is why this is but an idle fantasy, nothing more. We are soldiers. Facing danger is what we do. That we do not like to see you in danger is nothing new for either of us. I suspect you feel much the same way toward us.”

“I do,” Aramis nodded. “Which is why I cannot simply ignore whatever threat Lizette poses. Not if I do not know if she means to do harm to the two of you in some way.”

“We understand,” Athos said. “That is why we are agreeing to this even though the thought of it…”

“Sets our teeth on edge,” Porthos finished for him.

“Just so,” Athos said, grinning slightly. 

“Then perhaps I should do something to help make the coming days more palatable,” Aramis suggested, letting a hint of seductiveness color his voice.

“That is not necessary,” Athos said. He did not want Aramis to do something he was not really ready for no matter how much his body ached for him.

“And if it is something I want?” Aramis asked.

Athos did not reply. Instead, he pushed himself up on one arm and looked down at the other man. He paused for a moment, letting his desire glitter in his eyes, then leaned down and kissed him hard, thrusting his tongue into Aramis’ mouth, making him moan.

When Athos pulled back he was panting. He stared down into Aramis’ eyes, enjoying the look of stunned bliss he saw there. “You have no idea how badly I wanted you last night. It was all I could do not to reach for you. Your eyes were like a weight upon me, like a hand upon my skin, and I yearned for more of you.”

“Athos… Please, brother,” Aramis gasped, reaching up to wind his hands in Athos’ hair and hold on. 

“I want you so badly,” Athos said. “But I know you are not ready. If you desire us as we were last night, we are yours to command. You have but to direct us.”

“Porthos,” Aramis said, his voice nearly trembling with desire. “Is that what you want as well?”

“I want you any way I can have you,” Porthos told him. “But Athos is right, you are not ready to be with us in that way yet. So yes, I would gladly perform for you as we did last night. In any way you wish. All I ask is that you take your pleasure as well, brother. Just as you did last night. Will you do that for us? Will you let us see your pleasure as well?”

“Yes,” Aramis told him. “I would… I would like that very much. I… I felt so close to you both the last time. As if I were a part of… of what you were doing even though I was not.”

“You were,” Athos told him. “You were a very integral part. We could not have managed it without you. I am so very glad that we could make you feel as connected to us as we felt to you.”

“Then I would like nothing more than to help you be with each other in such a manner again,” Aramis told them. “I am not sure if you feel up to such after everything tonight…”

“Just being this close to you gets my blood up, love,” Porthos chuckled. He pushed his groin against Aramis’ hip, letting him feel the half-hard erection he had been holding away from him.

“Oh,” Aramis gasped. “You… you do not have to hold yourself away from me. I assure you, I will not blush and faint at the press of you against me. Either of you.”

“That is good to know,” Athos said as he moved his hips forward and let his own hardness press into Aramis’ other side. 

“Oh!” Aramis gasped even louder. “You as well? I… I…”

“Are you alright, love?” Porthos asked.

“Yes,” Aramis said then laughed. “I had not realized how much my simple proximity affected you both. If this is too much…”

“Do not even suggest such a thing,” Athos told him at once. “I would endure *torture* to be by your side in such a manner. An ache in my bollocks is of no concern.”

“It’s like Athos says,” Porthos agreed. “I’d do anything to be here with you like this. It’s not too much. It could never be too much.”

“Alright,” Aramis said, accepting their words. He knew, if he were in their places, he would likely feel the same. Nothing was more precious to him than his place at his brothers’ sides. He would endure whatever he had to in order to remain there, no matter how painful it might be.

“Do you still wish to watch as Porthos takes me?” Athos asked, licking his lips. He thought they might actually have enough self-control this time to manage it.

Aramis felt a wave of desire slam through him at Athos’ words. His own cock began to harden within his linens and he groaned aloud at the pictures that flitted through his head. “I would like that very much indeed.”

Porthos groaned and rubbed his rapidly filling cock against Aramis’ hip. “Do you want to simply watch or would you like to direct us this time?” he asked. “Tell me what to do when. How to open him up. When he’s ready for another finger. When to give him my cock.”

“Porthos, you are a fiend,” Aramis groaned. “Yes, yes I want that very much. Athos, does that meet with your approval?”


	11. Chapter 11

Part 11

“Athos, does that meet with your approval?”

“Porthos is not the only one who is a fiend,” Athos groaned. “Though your God may never forgive us for corrupting one of his angels in such a manner.”

“I am no angel, Athos,” Aramis laughed, finding the very idea absurd. “But I will gladly show you how much of a devil I can be.”

“Then show us, brother,” Athos urged, desire lancing all the way through him. To hear Aramis laugh and tease them in such a manner again nearly made him want to weep, but that was for later. Now was the time for placing themselves once more in their brother’s hands to do with as he would.

Porthos drew the blankets aside and cast them from the bed. He started to get up but Aramis’ hand on his arm stopped him. “I was just going to get your chair, love,” he told him.

“I know,” Aramis said. “But I believe I would like to remain here this time, if that is alright.”

Porthos swallowed around the sudden tightness in his throat and nodded. Aramis looked to Athos then and he nodded his consent as well. “We… we would like that,” Athos said, forcing himself to speak. 

“Good,” Aramis nearly purred as he got to his knees and moved up to the head of the bed, pressing himself back into the corner by the wall so as not to be in Porthos’ way. “I want to watch as Porthos undresses you and lays worship to your body with his hands and mouth. Only when you are an incoherent, begging wreck will I have him even start to prepare your body for his. He is going to utterly ruin you by the time this night is done, my dear, sweet Athos.”

“Fuck,” Porthos swore as he reached down to grip his own cock and squeeze hard. If Aramis kept this up the whole time they would end up spending long before they got to the actual fucking. Again. 

“Can you control yourself that long, my Porthos?” Aramis asked, as if reading his mind. “Or will you spend more than once this night as well?”

“As-as well?” Athos asked shakily.

“Oh yes, beloved,” Aramis replied. “I am quite eager to see how many times our Porthos can make you spend in a night. I am certain he can manage twice. Do you think he can rouse you a third time even?”

“Aramis…” Athos moaned, slamming his eyes closed. He reached out blindly for him and gripped him hard when Aramis took his hand.

Porthos watched the pair and felt his heart swell. Even taunting and teasing them, Aramis still showed his care for them, responding at once when Athos reached for him. He knew all either of them would have to do would be to tell him it was too much and he would call a stop to things immediately. For above all else, Aramis loved them. That knowledge helped ease the tight knot of tension that Porthos had been carrying inside of him ever since they had driven Aramis from them. 

“I am yours to command,” Porthos told him, his voice hoarse with sudden emotion. “If you wish me to spend more than once then I shall but it will draw out the festivities somewhat.”

“Will you be able to hold out otherwise?” Aramis asked, turning his attention to him and regarding him carefully. “Without causing yourself undue discomfort or pain?”

“I should,” Porthos told him. “If it gets to be too much, I will tell you.”

“Fair enough,” Aramis agreed. He smiled softly at him for a moment then let his eyes turn hot and predatory once more. “Now show me that magnificent body of yours before you get started taking our precious Athos apart.”

“As you wish,” Porthos said, playing along. He was gratified to see Aramis’ eyes flash briefly at his reply and quickly shed his smallclothes, dropping them over the side of the bed. 

Aramis let his eyes roam over Porthos’ body, drinking in the sight of him. He was completely hard, his cock heavy and full against his belly and Aramis felt a somewhat surprising desire to reach out and touch him, to take him in hand and stroke along that hard length until Porthos was moaning and thrusting into his hand. Licking his lips, he forced his eyes back up to his lover’s face and the unabashed look of _want_ there would have drive Aramis to his knees if he were not already there.

“My God,” Athos gasped as he watched the pair of them from where he still lay on the bed. The way they were looking at each other was nearly enough to undo him. He had no idea how he was going to survive this night. Not if things kept on the way they were going right now.

“Will you… will you undress this time as well?” Porthos asked. He had watched Aramis looking at him. He had seen the longing in his eyes and it felt akin to being kicked by a horse. 

“Yes,” Aramis told him. “Just… not right yet. For now, I want to watch you with Athos. I want to see how worked up you can get him with your hands and mouth without even removing his smalls.”

“You are a demon tonight,” Porthos grinned at him then turned to look down at Athos. He crawled forward until he was over Athos’ body then lowered himself onto his elbows so he could kiss him. He started softly, merely brushing their lips together. As soon as Athos opened his mouth, however, Porthos drove his tongue inside, kissing him hard and drawing a startled gasp from the man as he clutched at Porthos’ arms.

Porthos kissed him thoroughly before pulling back and kissing down his neck. He bit down on his shoulder, sucking hard enough to leave a mark, knowing his shirt would keep it safely hidden. Then he was kissing down Athos’ chest, nipping here and there as he went, causing his lover to alternate between moans and sighs.

Aramis watched, entranced, as Porthos took control of Athos’ body. He watched as Athos gripped the man’s arms, holding tight to him as Porthos used his lips and teeth and tongue to drive him mad. Whenever Porthos rose up, Aramis could see Athos’ hardness straining in his smallclothes and he once again felt the urge to reach out and touch, to take him in hand and make him cry out in bliss.

“Porthos, please,” Athos panted as Porthos moved down his chest to take a taut nipple into his mouth. He laved it with his tongue, sucking gently, then bit down on it, causing Athos to hiss and arch his back beneath him. 

Without conscious thought, Aramis found himself moving closer to them. His own body ached with barely suppressed want, so much so that he was actually shaking from it. As he watched Porthos torment Athos’ nipple relentlessly, he reached out and tentatively brushed his fingertips over its twin, earning a startled cry from the man.

“Please,” Athos begged, panting and arching under the dual assault. He felt on the verge of sobbing with want for Aramis’ hands upon him again. A single glance at Porthos showed the same emotion mirrored in his eyes.

“That’s it, love,” Porthos encouraged, lifting his mouth from Athos’ body for a moment. “Touch him. Make him feel good. He’s missed your touch so much. We both have.”

“I’m sorry,” Aramis said, though he continued to stroke over Athos’ hardened nipple. He took it between his finger and thumb and squeezed lightly, tearing another gasp from the man. “I know I am only supposed to be watching but I could not resist.”

“We are yours,” Porthos said. “Body and soul. You can touch us in any way you wish. Look at him. He is nearly undone from these simple touches alone.” 

“That you would both give me this,” Aramis whispered, awed at his lovers’ willingness to place themselves so completely in his hands. Considering all that had happened, he would have expected a bit more wariness on their parts. Yet they willingly laid themselves bare for him, giving him control of them in a way they never had before.

“Porthos… Porthos is correct,” Athos panted. “We are yours. Do with us as you will.”

“Then spend for me,” Aramis told him as he began to roll his nipple between his finger and thumb in the way he knew Athos particularly enjoyed. 

Porthos groaned at Aramis’ words and immediately began sucking and biting at Athos’ other nipple, intent on helping him do as Aramis said. He felt him go suddenly still beneath him then he was bucking up hard and crying out both of their names.

Athos felt Aramis’ words burrow into him, then those long, talented fingers were sending white hot sparks through him even as Porthos began to suck and bite at his other nipple once more. Before he knew it, he was teetering on the brink, his body poised on a knife-edge, then he was falling, his body arching up as he cried out and began to spend in his smallclothes.

As he spent, Aramis and Porthos continued to pet and stroke him until lucidity slowly returned. He looked first at Porthos, smiling softly at the love and affection he saw reflected in the bigger man’s eyes. Then he shifted his gaze to Aramis who was still sitting beside him and running his hand up and down his chest, stroking him soothingly. However, while Porthos eyes had held the love and care he was so used to seeing, the depth of emotion he saw in Aramis’ eyes nearly took his breath away.

“Aramis?” he whispered, concerned that perhaps they had allowed things to go too far after all, even though Aramis had been the one to initiate the contact.

“I am fine,” Aramis told him, then looked at Porthos and nodded to let him know as well. “I… I had never thought to experience something like that. That either of you would ever give me so much of yourselves...”

“Is it too much?” Porthos asked, still a bit concerned.

“No,” Aramis told him. “A bit overwhelming, but not in a bad way. Is it too much for either of you? I know you did not plan on me touching you in such a manner.”

“We do not mind,” Athos told him and Porthos nodded his agreement. “And if you give me but a moment to recover my wits, we can continue. I believe you had a somewhat diabolical plan to see how many times you could make me spend.”

“Indeed I did,” Aramis grinned, relieved that his participation had not caused a problem. “And I am eager to find out. After this, I am quite sure we can wrest at least three out of you, perhaps even more.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this scene ended up being in multiple parts...


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And once again, Aramis took a header into left field on me...

Part 12

As Athos struggled to regain his breath, Porthos rose from the bed to fetch a basin and some rags. When he returned, he set the basin of water down and dampened one of the rags. As he turned to begin cleaning Athos, he found Aramis already there, gently unlacing his soiled linens and carefully removing them. 

Athos watched him, wide-eyed, afraid that if he spoke he might disturb whatever tableau they had created among them that let Aramis feel secure enough to reach out to them in such a manner. Glancing at Porthos, he saw the same awed look in his eyes as he watched Aramis strip him bare. 

“Would you hand me the rag, please?” Aramis asked softly, holding out his hand. He did not look up, not wanting to meet his brothers’ eyes at the moment. He felt… fragile and needed a few moments to get himself back under control. His own arousal had waned a bit, subsiding to a low hum that he could easily ignore. For that, he was grateful. He needed to be able to think right now.

With gentle swipes, he cleaned Athos’ seed from his skin, laving the area thoroughly before handing the cloth back to Porthos. Taking one last deep breath to center himself, he sat up and finally looked at his brothers’ faces, taking in the looks of love mixed with no small amount of trepidation.

“So,” Porthos said after a moment, “what would you like us to do now, love?”

“Well,” Aramis began, licking his lips as he looked back and forth between the two men. “That would depend entirely upon how far you are willing to allow me to take this. To… to take you, as it were.”

Porthos looked at him and then simply nodded. “I will do anything you say, save cause one of you harm.”

“Porthos…” Aramis breathed, unsure if his brother knew what it was he was offering.

“I mean it,” Porthos said. “I would bend myself to your will entirely.”

“And… and you, Athos?” Aramis asked, feeling his insides start to shake at the very thought of what his brothers might be offering him.

“The same,” Athos replied, his voice soft but firm. “Do with us as you will, Aramis, there is naught we shall deny you.”

Aramis watched the pair, his mind awhirl. He did not know why he was suddenly so determined to push this but he could not seem to stop. It was as if he was testing his brothers, looking for the thing that would make them turn from him again. 

“Aramis?” Athos queried when he failed to respond

“And if I wish to hear you beg?” Aramis asked, his eyes locking on Athos’ own.

Athos froze, staring at Aramis as his words sank in. He felt Porthos still beside him as well. He could not deny the bolt of lust the man’s words sent through him, nor the somewhat less surprising tendril of fear. It was not that he feared his lovers or anything they might ask of him. Rather, it was more a fear of failing Aramis in this. 

He had meant every word he had said. And Aramis was worth far more to him than his pride would ever be, but there had been a time when his pride had been all he had to cling to. He was not sure he knew how to let it go. For Aramis, however, he would damn well figure it out. Swallowing, he held his lover’s gaze unwaveringly. “Would you prefer I do it from my knees or will the bed suffice?”

“Athos…” Porthos called softly, suddenly unsure.

“No, Porthos,” Athos said, his eyes still locked on Aramis. “If he wishes my debasement, he may have it. If he wishes me to find my release during such I shall do my utmost to comply as well, though I may require… assistance.”

“I am sorry,” Aramis said, turning his face away from Athos. “I do not know why…”

“You are testing us,” Athos cut in gently. “As you should do. But Aramis understand, my pride means nothing to me when compared to you. Now tell me what is it you wish to hear me beg for? Is it your hands upon me? Or would you rather hear me beg for our dear brother to take me as he has not done in months?”

With a strangled cry, Aramis surged forward and covered Athos’ mouth with his own. He drove his tongue into the other man’s mouth, kissing him deeply as his hands came up to cradle his face. He felt Athos opening beneath him, accepting him, submitting to him in a way he never did and Aramis groaned loudly as the lust that had abated slammed through him once more.

Finally, he managed to break the kiss and pull back. Athos’ eyes were wide and dark with desire and Aramis had to fight to keep himself in check. With one hand on Athos’ face, he reached back with the other one toward Porthos. He pulled him forward gratefully when the other man took his outstretched hand until Porthos was pressed up against him and Aramis could turn his head and share a kiss with him as well.

Porthos did his best to keep himself still and let Aramis dictate the manner of their kiss. It was as hard for him as it was for Athos, to cede control in such a manner, but if it was something Aramis wanted from them then they would see him have it. And from the looks of things, it was not just something Aramis wanted, but something he might actually need as well.

“I love you both more than life,” Aramis said when he finally released Porthos’ mouth. “So you will both swear to me now that you will not allow me to hurt you in any way with this. I… I am… You know how vicious I can be…”

“We give you our word, brother,” Athos told him. “But you will not do anything to harm us. Even now you stop yourself, afraid of having pushed too far in some way. Do you not know that I would crawl on my knees through the streets for you?”

“Athos…”

“This is something you want,” Athos continued. 

“Something you need,” Porthos countered.

“And we would very much like to give it to you,” Athos finished. “Let us.”

“Very well,” Aramis said, unable to deny the desire raging inside of him. Perhaps it was because he was normally the most submissive of the three of them, bending to his lovers’ wills more often than not. Perhaps that was why it was suddenly so important to him that they do so. 

“So tell me,” Athos said, reaching out and stroking a hand along Aramis’ thigh. “What is it you wish to hear me beg for?”

Aramis looked down at Athos then back over his shoulder at Porthos. He let the hand still cradling Athos’ face slide back into his hair and grip tightly. “I want to hear you beg for his cock down your throat,” Aramis said, his voice turning dark and silky. “And when he has finished taking you that way, I want to hear you beg for his cock in your ass. Will you do that for me, Athos? Will you beg to be his slut?”

Athos found himself hesitating again as the weight of Aramis’ words settled inside of him. He could feel his lovers’ gazes upon him and did not know if that made it better or worse. Still, he would find a way to do this. He would not let Aramis down again.

“Athos?” Porthos called when his lover remained silent. He understood that he wanted to do this, to somehow prove himself to Aramis, but Porthos was not at all sure that this was the way to go about it.

“Please,” Athos said softly, his eyes finally meeting Porthos’ own. He licked his lips and reached his hand out toward Porthos as if trying to pull him closer. He felt a shiver run through him, though he was unsure if it was from desire or… something else. He refused to let that stop him, though. “Please, brother. Let me taste you. Let me feel you inside my mouth. It has been so very long. Please… I would… anything…”

“Stop!” Aramis snarled suddenly, causing Athos and Porthos both to start. “Stop it. Just… just stop it.”

“Aramis, what is wrong?” Athos asked, sitting up and turning to face him.

“Do not… do not do this. Not for me,” Aramis said, unable to bring himself to even look at Athos now.

“Hey now,” Porthos soothed, gripping Aramis’ arm as if afraid he might try to flee from them.

“I am so sorry,” Aramis said. “I had no right…”

“Did not Porthos and I give you the right?” Athos calmly reasoned. “We said anything, brother, and we meant it. You… you did not harm me. I promised I would not let you and I did not. This…”

“I made you beg,” Aramis nearly wailed, still refusing to look at Athos.

“You made me do nothing. You asked. I agreed. Why has this upset you so?”

Aramis looked at him then, as if he could not believe Athos had asked such a question. “You are not the sort of man to _beg_. Not for anything. To debase yourself so for the likes of me…”

“Do not dare finish that sentence, brother,” Porthos warned angrily. 

“Oh, love,” Athos sighed. He pulled Aramis into his arms and held him. “It is alright. We understand what it is you want.”

“I am glad at least somebody does,” Aramis said into his neck.

“You really don’t know?” Porthos asked, moving up to press all along Aramis’ back so that he was bracketed between the two of them.

“I thought I did, but now…”

“You want that which we denied you,” Athos said softly, his eyes meeting Porthos’ over the top of Aramis’ head. “You want our trust. Our complete and utter trust. You want us to put ourselves wholly into your hands to prove to you that we trust you without reservation or hesitation.”

“I… I do,” Aramis whispered. “But what does that have to do with me being a bastard just now?”

“You were not being a bastard, as you put it,” Athos said. “You were pushing me to see if I would balk. You were making me do something you knew I would find… difficult if not distasteful. I said you were testing us, love. And you do not mean it to be an easy one.”

“You should not have to put up with such behavior,” Aramis argued. He tried to pull back from Athos but was held firm, both by Athos’ arms around his waist and Porthos’ solid bulk at his back. 

“Do not be absurd,” Athos replied drolly. “We wish to prove ourselves to you just as much as you wish to test us. Is that not right, Porthos?”

“Too right,” Porthos replied. “Let us prove ourselves, love. And… and trust us to tell you if you do start to go too far. We promised not to let you hurt us and we won’t.”

“Can you honestly say you did not think I went too far with Athos just now?” Aramis asked him, having seen the worry on Porthos’ face.

“I was a bit worried, yeah,” Porthos admitted. “You were… getting close. But you didn’t go too far. I would have stopped you if you had.”

“Let us try, Aramis,” Athos urged. “ _Please._ ”


	13. Chapter 13

Part 13

“ _Please._ ”

Aramis moaned at Athos’ plea and nodded his consent. He extricated himself from between them and sat back, needing to distance himself at least somewhat in order to remain in control. If he did not, there was no way he could keep his hands to himself, and while his brothers had made it abundantly clear they would not mind his touch, would welcome it even, now was not the time.

Athos let him go, understanding Aramis’ need for space. He turned to Porthos, focusing his attention on him and pushing Aramis to the back of his mind as much as he could. He reached toward Porthos again but stopped just short of touching him.

“Please,” Athos begged, his voice sounding hoarse and broken. He met his lover’s eyes then looked down toward the bed, unable to maintain the eye contact. “Please, Porthos. I need you so much. Let me taste you, brother. Let me… let me pleasure you with my mouth. Please…”

Unable to simply listen any longer, Porthos jerked Athos to him with a hungry growl. He kissed him hard, driving his tongue deep into his mouth in a prelude of what was to come. “Gonna fuck straight down your throat,” he rasped when he pulled back, one hand fisting in Athos’ hair as he reached down with the other to take hold of his straining flesh.

“Yes,” Athos practically mewled. “Use me. It’s what he wants. And… and I want it as well.”

Casting a quick glance to Aramis to make sure he did not object, Porthos used the hand in Athos’ hair to pull him down toward his aching cock. “I take it back, Aramis,” he said as he pressed the head against Athos’ lips and shoved inside. “I will need to spend more than once.”

“You are not alone, brother,” Aramis gasped, his eyes riveted to Athos. He had one hand on Porthos’ hip, the other was braced on the bed. Porthos’ hand was still tightly wound in his hair and the bigger man was holding his head in place as he slowly slid deeper and deeper into his mouth, forcing Athos to take him.

Athos moaned around the cock pushing slowly into his mouth, filling him inch by inch. Porthos was, to put it mildly, rather generously endowed and even after all their time together Athos still sometimes struggled to take him in. He knew that Aramis had to know this when he had sought this particular act from him. No, his brother had not meant for this test to be easy in any way. 

All too soon, Athos felt Porthos’ cock nudge at the back of his throat. He knew there was still a fair bit of him that he had not managed to take. He tried to relax, telling himself that his brothers would never do anything to actually harm him but it was made all the more difficult by his inability to draw in more than the barest hint of air.

“Pull back some,” Aramis told Porthos softly as he moved up next to Athos. “Just enough so he can breathe and keep hold of his head.”

Porthos did as Aramis bid, pulling back a few inches so that Athos could breath around him once more. He felt a pang at the grateful look in his brother’s eyes and softened the grip he had on his hair, though he did not let go.

“Athos, listen to me,” Aramis said as he rested his hand upon Athos’ throat. “Porthos is going to allow you to breathe for a moment then he is going to push back in. All you need do is concentrate on staying as relaxed as possible. Can you do that for me?”

Athos cast his eyes toward Aramis, unable to turn his head. He saw the concern in his eyes and felt a wave of relief wash over him. He was with his brothers. No harm could possibly befall him here regardless of what they did. Still looking at Aramis, he nodded as much as Porthos’ grip on his hair would allow then set about doing as Aramis had instructed.

“Give him a moment,” Aramis told Porthos. “Then push back in slowly. Stop when you hit the back of his throat again.”

“Aramis, he cannot…”

“He can try,” Aramis told him. “I will help him. If he cannot do it, then fine, but I would have him make the attempt.”

Porthos opened his mouth to argue once more. He did not think they should even attempt it. Athos had never been the most skilled at this and what Aramis was asking of him went far beyond his ability. Even Aramis himself struggled with the act at times and he was a great deal more accomplished at such things than Athos. Before he could voice his argument, however, he felt Athos’ hand on his hip tighten. Looking down, he saw the resolve in Athos’ eyes and knew that he would have to at least allow him to try. 

Taking a deep breath of his own, Porthos began to slowly push the last few inches back into Athos’ mouth. He stopped when he felt the head of his cock snug against the back of Athos’ throat and looked to Aramis. 

With his hand on Athos’ throat, Aramis could feel the man tense when Porthos was all the way inside him again. Or at least as far inside him as Porthos had ever managed. Gently, he began to massage Athos’ throat, hoping to relax him. “Easy, love,” he murmured. “You are doing so well. I know he is big and it feels like you cannot possibly take him in any deeper like this, but you can. I know you can. Will you try for me?”

Athos whimpered, unable to give voice to his answer any more than that. His eyes, however, said everything his mouth could not. He would do whatever was bid of him, or try to at any rate.

“You are so very beautiful,” Aramis told him. “Now, I want you to try to swallow. I know it will seem hard with our brother filling your mouth so thoroughly but just try.” With his hand still on Athos’ throat, Aramis felt it when Athos tried to swallow around Porthos’ cock. He continued to massage his throat as he did so, helping him complete the motion that he otherwise would not have been able to.

Porthos groaned loudly at the feel of Athos swallowing around the head of his cock. He had not expected such a thing from him and it was wreaking havoc with his control. It was almost a tease, Athos’ throat sucking him downward only to release him at the last instant and it was taking everything within him not to simply bury himself within his brother’s tight throat.

“Pull back again, Porthos, and let him breathe,” Aramis said. He had felt Athos begin to tighten up under his hand and knew he needed a moment to collect himself.

Porthos groaned as if in pain but managed to do as Aramis said. He pulled back until just the head was inside Athos’ mouth, unable to bring himself to pull out completely. He was shaking with the effort of holding himself still but he knew that Athos needed a moment to get both his breath, as well as his composure, back.

“Look at him, Athos,” Aramis commanded, his hand never leaving Athos’ throat. “See how he trembles for you? See what you have reduced him to? Him, the strongest of us, shaking like a newborn foal. **You** did that. Your touch. Your love. Are you ready to see what more you can do for him?”

Athos’ eyes shone as he gazed up at Porthos. He did his best to show all of the love and desire he felt for him, suddenly desperate for Porthos to know, to _see_. Finally, he shifted his gaze to Aramis and gave a slight nod, ready to follow wherever he might lead once more.

“Oh, you are so very lovely,” Aramis said, stroking his throat gently. “And you are pleasing me so very much.

“Porthos, you may press forward again,” he told Porthos without taking his eyes from Athos. “Stop when you are fully seated. Our brother is going to try to take you into his throat one last time.”

“Alright,” Porthos replied shakily as he pushed in a bit faster than he intended to. Athos, however, did not seem to mind, moaning softly as his mouth was once more taken and filled. Porthos grunted when his cock bumped against the back of Athos’ throat and he stilled, waiting for Aramis to direct them once more.

“When you feel him start to swallow this time, I want you to push forward,” Aramis said. “Not hard, just enough to… help him along some.”

“Alright,” Porthos agreed.

“Now, Athos, I want you to close your eyes this time,” Aramis instructed. “I am going to start massaging your throat again. When I do, I want you to try to swallow again.” 

Aramis waited for Athos to close his eyes before starting to gently rub up and down along the sides of his throat. When he felt Athos start to swallow, he nodded at Porthos and watched as he pushed forward, trying to urge the head of his cock into Athos’ throat.

Aramis felt when Athos began to tense up and motioned for Porthos to ease up. “That was excellent,” Aramis praised. “You came so close. Will you try again for me? Just one more time?”

Athos drew an unsteady breath in through his nose and then another. He hesitated for a moment then nodded. He would keep trying for as long as Aramis wanted him to… or until he passed out, whichever came first. 

“Thank you, my love,” Aramis said, leaning down and placing a kiss on the top of Athos’ head. “This will be the last time, I promise. We do not want to cause any damage to your throat after all.” 

He nodded to Porthos and waited until he was ready and Athos had once again closed his eyes. This time, he massaged Athos’ throat a bit harder, working the muscles on either side of his wind pipe. When he felt Athos start to swallow, he nodded at Porthos again and the man pressed forward. 

“Harder,” Aramis whispered to Porthos, urging him on. He knew that Athos was almost there and just needed a little help.

Trusting Aramis, Porthos did as he was bid and pushed forward a bit harder. He felt Athos’ start to gag around him then Athos was forcing it down and swallowing around him once more. Before Porthos knew it, the head of his cock had slipped into Athos’ throat and he shouted as the whole of him was buried inside his lover’s mouth.

“Beautiful,” Aramis crooned, his hand still massaging Athos’ throat. He could feel it spasming around Porthos’ cock, trying to expel it but Athos held on, refusing to give up his hard won prize.

“Aramis, please,” Porthos said as his fist tightened in Athos’ hair, making sure he could not go anywhere. He could feel Athos’ throat rippling around the head of his cock and it was more than he could take. “Please… I need to spend. I can’t…”

“Go ahead,” Aramis told him, his eyes glued to Athos.

With a roar, Porthos nearly ground Athos’ face into his groin and began to spend down his throat. He had not thought his lover would be able to do such a thing and the reality of it was nearly overwhelming. He knew he was being overly harsh, pulling too tightly on Athos’ hair and shoving in too hard, but he could not hold back try as he might.

Athos rode out his lover’s pleasure as best he could. He could actually feel Porthos’ cock pulsing in his throat as it filled his belly with his seed. The very thought made his own cock throb with renewed lust and he moaned as Porthos tried to shove himself in even deeper. As Porthos practically rutted his face, Athos reveled in the feeling of being filled and taken in a way he never had before.

Finally, Porthos finished and began to pull back. He eased himself from Athos’ abused throat as gently as he could, noting that Aramis continued to rub and caress it, all the while whispering to Athos about how beautiful he was and how proud Aramis was of him. Once he had pulled out all of the way, he reached down and pulled Athos up and into his arms, kissing him deeply but gently, mindful that his mouth as a whole might be a bit sore right now.

“Ar-ar-a-mis…” Athos stammered his voice sounding like he had swallowed broken glass.

“Shhh, querido,” Aramis soothed as he pulled Athos from Porthos’ embrace. “Do not try to talk just now. Now I think it is time for you to rest for a bit. You have spent and so has Porthos. That should keep you both for the time being.”

“You?” Athos gritted out, frowning slightly.

“I will be fine,” Aramis told him, smiling softly at him. “If it will help you to rest, I will lie down with you both. Would that suit you?”

Athos opened his mouth to answer then closed it when Aramis’ quirked his eyebrow at him. He settled for nodding and they quickly arranged themselves on the bed with Athos in the middle. He had tried to trade places with Aramis but the man had outright refused. “Just rest,” Aramis told him. “After all, I still wish to hear you beg our dear Porthos to fuck you and you cannot do that if you cannot speak.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This scene is taking for freaking ever to get through.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: prior possible under-age sex is alluded to. No ages are actually mentioned but sex between a "boy" and a "man" is talked about.

Part 14

Unsurprisingly, his lovers had fallen asleep some time ago, worn out by the day’s events. Aramis, however, could not seem to rest. Old memories kept pushing at him, reminding him of times, and people, best left forgotten. He knew why the memories were assailing him right now. Of course he knew. After what he had done to Athos, how could he expect anything else? Now that the haze of desire had cleared, he could think once more. He had been joking earlier when he had referred to himself as a demon. Now, though, he had to wonder if he was not truly among the damned. For who else but one damned would visit such an atrocity on one he professed to love?

A memory surged to the forefront of his mind and Aramis shuddered in revulsion. He had been so young then. No more than a boy really. Young and naïve and gullible and he had fancied himself in love. The man he had thought himself in love with had been older, worldly to his much younger self, and Aramis had done all he had asked without question. And when Tristan had taken him in hand and taught him to take him into his throat, Aramis had not objected. Even when it left him unable to speak for days at a time. That was the first time anyone had ever referred to Aramis as a whore, though it was far from the last.

Unable to lie still any longer and not wanting to wake his brothers, Aramis slipped from the bed. He gathered his clothes and went into the other room to dress. He sat down in front of the fire and simply stared, letting the events of earlier replay themselves in his mind once more. He felt his gorge rise as he remembered pushing Athos into something he had clearly not wanted and he swallowed thickly. When he thought about how he had made Porthos help him… how he had made Porthos nearly force his way into Athos’ throat, he gagged and staggered toward the bucket he kept in the corner. When he was finished being sick, he sat back on his haunches and scrubbed the tears from his face angrily. He cast a nervous glance toward the bedroom and was relieved to see that he had not disturbed the others. He could not face them right now. His shame was too great. That he had taken advantage of them, of their desire to earn his trust, sickened him. When had he become such a monster?

As he emptied the bucket and set it back in the corner, Aramis glanced toward the bedroom once more. And for a moment, he was overwhelmed by the surety that his brothers would be so much better off without him. But he would have to excise himself completely this time. He could not remain in Paris, or even France. Of course, without his brothers he did not see much point in going on at all. To take one’s own life was to damn one’s soul, but had he not just proven that his soul was already quite beyond redemption?

Knowing he would find no answers here and unable to bear the thought of facing his brothers, he slipped from the room, closing the door softly behind him. He was half way down the street before he realized that he was clad in only his shirt and breeches, having left all else behind including his weapons. He chuckled darkly as he continued to walk. If any of his enemies wished to come for him now, let them. They would be doing everyone a favor. As he walked on, he paid little heed to where he was going other than to avoid those places he was most likely to encounter someone he knew. When he found himself standing on the banks of the river, he was not overly surprised. He had often found himself near the water’s edge during those first painful weeks when he had been learning how to be alone again. It was where he went to think and it gave him some measure of peace, whether he was deserving of such or not. Sitting on the riverbank, his thoughts once more turned to Tristan. He shuddered again as he remembered how very trusting he had been. _Just like Athos._ And Tristan had abused that trust just as he had done to Athos.

His hands clenched into fists as he remembered the first time Tristan had bade him to lie with one of his ‘friends’. Aramis had not wanted to, had been mortified at the very thought, but Tristan had wheedled and cajoled until Aramis had finally given in. The experience had been just short of hellish for Aramis and Tristan had begged his forgiveness and sworn he would never ask such a thing of him again. Never, as it turned out, lasted little more than two weeks. 

That time, Tristan had claimed that he owed the man money, an old debt he had simply forgotten about, but that the man was quite insistent be paid at once or he would have him imprisoned. Aramis, terrified of what might befall his lover should he be thrown into prison, had agreed. By the time the man had finished with him, Tristan had to come and carry him home, his body too ill-used to manage it himself. His throat had been so badly damaged he could barely even get liquids down it for more than a day. That was the second time Aramis heard someone refer to him as a whore, only that time they called him Tristan’s whore. He got rather used to it after that.

Shaking his head violently, Aramis tried to push the memories away. They would not help him now and they certainly would not help Athos. Just thinking about what he had done to the man made him cringe. He would not blame Porthos if he demanded satisfaction for both their sakes. Though if he did, Aramis would be more apt to put a musket ball through his own skull than force his brother to draw a blade on him. The thought of facing the other two men filled him with dread. He stared out at the water and tried to let it calm him, but it was not having its usual effect as memory after wretched memory of a past he had thought long dead threatened to drown him.

When he finally noticed the lengthening shadows around him, he realized with a start that it had grown rather late. The sun hung low in the sky and the air had taken on a chill. He shivered in the cool breeze, reminded again that he had left home with neither coat nor weapons. He had also left no indication as to where he was going and the others were bound to be awake by now. Though the voice inside of him, the one he had _finally_ managed to silence once more, whispered that they were surely _relieved_ that he was gone, that they would not have to look upon his horrid countenance after what he had done to them. Still, at the very least, Aramis felt he owed it to them to let them tell him so to his face.

&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M

Athos and Porthos were growing nearly frantic with worry. They had awoken to find Aramis gone. They had thought, at first, he had merely stepped out for a moment. Then they had noticed his hat on the table and his doublet still hanging beside their own. When they saw his sword and pistols as well they had become truly frightened. After hurriedly dressing they had taken it in turns to look for him, each going to the places they knew of. They did not bother with Constance or the garrison, knowing they would have sent word to them had Aramis shown up in such a state. Their search had proven fruitless, though. Wherever he had gone, it was not anywhere he had shared with them.

“You do not think something has happened, do you?” Porthos asked.

“You mean with whoever is after him?”

Porthos nodded.

“It is a possibility,” Athos admitted. “But unlikely. They would not be expecting him to go about unarmed. But if he has not returned by nightfall we shall go to the Captain.”

Athos had barely finished speaking before the handle on the door turned and Aramis walked inside. He paused at seeing his lovers standing there. Both Athos and Porthos froze for a moment, staring, then rushed forward and yanked him fully into the room. Porthos slammed the door closed behind him, even going so far as to lock it to ensure that Aramis could not slip away from them again. Once he was satisfied their lover could not escape, he turned back to the center of the room to find Athos holding onto Aramis. Aramis, however, was making no attempt to return Athos’ embrace. In fact, Aramis was shaking so hard it was a wonder Athos could keep hold of him at all.

“Are you alright?” Porthos asked as he came up beside them.

Aramis could not stop himself from flinching and whipped his head around to stare at Porthos. Why in all the hells was Porthos asking about him? It was Athos he should be concerned with. And himself, considering the unwilling part Aramis had forced him to play in all of this.

“Aramis, talk to us,” Athos pled softly. “Tell us what is wrong. We woke up to find you had gone…”

Aramis closed his eyes, a look of pain marring his face. He turned away from Porthos and let his head come to rest on Athos’ shoulder. “I did not think you would wish me here when you awoke,” he said. “Not after what I had done. I have… no words…”

“What is it that you think you did, love?” Porthos asked as he gently rested his hand against the small of Aramis’ back.

The sound Aramis made was so utterly hopeless it sent a shiver down Athos’ spine. He tightened his grip reflexively and lifted his eyes to Porthos’. The fear he saw there mirrored his own and he felt his breath quicken. Whatever this was, it was bad. Athos was not stupid. He knew it had to do with what they had done together but he did not understand why Aramis was so upset by it. 

“Aramis, whatever it is, it will be alright,” Athos told him. “We are here and we are not leaving. We are never leaving you again.”

“You should,” Aramis groaned. He had to ball his hands into fists once more to keep from grabbing onto Athos. He wanted to hold him so very badly but he could not. He had no right. Not after what he had done. He had become everything he had vowed to himself he never would and he was no more deserving of these men than he was… well, anything really. 

“Don’t you say that,” Porthos told him, forcing himself to keep his voice calm rather than let the words come out in the snarl he would have preferred. “Athos is right. We will never leave you.”

“Then perhaps it would be best if I left you,” Aramis said, though the words sounded brittle to his ears. He had managed to say them, though. He was proud of himself for that much at least.

Athos choked back the sudden fear that threatened to drive the air from his lungs. “If… if you are determined to leave us, there is… is little we can do,” he said, his eyes once again meeting Porthos’. “But I would know why it is you would do this to us. I think you owe us that much before you go.”

Porthos stared at Athos, aghast. He wanted to shout at his brother, shake him, ask him what he thought he was doing, but he did none of those things. Instead, he did what he always did when the situation looked impossible. He followed his brother’s lead.

“Very well,” Aramis agreed, seeing no reason now for them not to know the truth about him.

“Shall we sit down at the table?” Athos asked, falling back on formality to keep from floundering. 

“As you wish,” Aramis agreed again. 

While Athos and Aramis sat down, Porthos grabbed two bottles of wine and three glasses. He had a feeling they would need them. He actually hoped they did. Then maybe Aramis would calm down enough to listen to them. Because no matter what Athos said, there was no way Porthos was letting Aramis leave them. Not for something they had all agreed to.

“Will you explain to us first what it is about our encounter that has upset you so?” Athos asked as Porthos filled their glasses.

“I had no right to treat you in such a manner,” Aramis said.

“Aramis, we agreed to it,” Athos replied. “You did not force me. You asked. I agreed. I do not see the issue.”

“I was wrong to even ask it of you,” Aramis argued.

“How so?” Porthos asked. “You wanted it. At least for that one time. What was the harm?”

Aramis regarded him then turned and looked at Athos. He rolled the glass of wine Porthos had poured for him between his hands but did not drink it. “Have I ever told you about a man named Tristan?” he asked.

“No,” Athos replied, looking to Porthos who shook his head as well. “No, I do not believe you have ever mentioned him. Why do you ask?”

“Tristan was the man who taught **me** how to take a cock in my throat,” Aramis explain. “I had a bit rougher time of it at first. Granted, I was a good deal younger as well.”

“How much younger?” Porthos asked warily.

“A lot,” Aramis replied, his eyes firmly fixed on the glass he kept rolling back and forth between his hands. “Anyway, he taught me quite a few things, Tristan did. The night he taught me that, however, was the first time anyone had ever called me a whore.”

“My God,” Athos gasped. He started to reach out toward Aramis, but he pulled his hands back so Athos did the same. He could understand Aramis not really wanting to be touched right now but he ached to pull him into his arms and tell him that it was going to be alright. Somehow.

“It was not the last, I assure you,” Aramis continued. “It actually changed to Tristan’s whore once he started lending me out.”

“Tell me where to find him and I will kill him,” Porthos growled, unable to stop himself.

“Killing an old man is beneath you,” Aramis told him with a snort.

“An old man?” Athos repeated. “He was…”

“Much older than me, yes,” Aramis nodded. “He would be, oh probably close to sixty now I would think.”

“And you were just a boy,” Athos said, the picture becoming all too clear.

Aramis merely shrugged. “I was young and thought myself in love. I never once told him no until the end.”

“Aramis…” Athos began but Aramis kept speaking.

“I vowed to myself when I left him that I would never become like him, that I would never do to a lover the things he had done to me,” Aramis said. “He was a monster to me at the end and I promised myself that I would never become such a thing.”

“You are no monster, Aramis,” Athos told him, putting every bit of conviction he could into his voice.

“Yes, I am,” Aramis replied. “That I even asked such a thing of you…”

“No,” Porthos broke in. “There is no harm in merely asking.”

“Really?” Aramis shot back. “So there was no harm in Tristan asking me to lie with one of his friends? There was no harm in him asking me to pay his debt by letting a man fuck me bloody?”

“Aramis, you were a boy,” Athos said softly. This time when he reached out, Aramis did not pull his hands back and Athos clasped them in his own. “I am a man grown. What you asked of me was… difficult and perhaps, in hindsight, I should have listened when you had misgivings. Instead, I pushed you to go ahead because I wanted to prove myself to you. If there was an error made here, then it was I who made it, not you.”

“And me as well,” Porthos said. “We both pushed you when you tried to pull back, when you said you had changed your mind. We should have listened and we did not.”

Aramis looked up at them, unable to fathom the fact that they did not hate him for what he had done. Equally surprising was the fact that they did not seem repulsed by his past. They had known, of course, of his rather promiscuous nature, but there was a world of difference between promiscuity and what amounted to prostitution. 

“Will you tell us where you went?” Athos asked. He wanted to know where to look in case Aramis decided to disappear on them again. “We tried to look for you.”

“I just walked at first,” Aramis said. “My feet carried me to the river. I… I used to go there… before… when I needed to think or to find peace.”

“Were you able to find any?” Porthos asked, thinking it did not look like Aramis had found much peace at all.

“No,” Aramis said with a small laugh. “No, there was no peace to be found for me. I do not believe God was in the mood to be quite that benevolent, all things considered.”

“What do you mean?” Athos asked. He was disturbed by Aramis’ words for some reason but he was not sure why.

“Nothing important,” Aramis said, shaking his head dismissively. 

“I think you are wrong there, brother, but I will not push,” Athos said. “You are exhausted. You need to rest. Will you come and lie down with us?”

“How can you want me anywhere near you?” Aramis asked. He searched Athos’ face, looking for some sign of fear or revulsion but he found only love and worry reflected back at him. When he looked at Porthos, he saw the same and Aramis had to close his eyes to fight the sudden tears that filled them.

“Because I love you more than life,” Athos told him. “We both do. And if you had left us, we would have followed you.”

“Not where I was going,” Aramis said, shaking his head. “You would not have been able to. I would have made sure of it.”

“No,” Porthos moaned as if in pain. “No more, please. I cannot bear it.”

Aramis hung his head, ashamed that he had hurt his brother yet again. _This is why they are better off without you_ , the voice inside him cackled. _All you ever do is cause them pain._

“Enough,” Athos said. “It has been a trying day for all of us. Please, brother, lie with us. Let us ease our fears by feeling you near.”

“If that is what you wish,” Aramis said.

“It is,” Athos told him.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: prior possible under-age sex is talked about. No ages are actually mentioned but sex between a "boy" and a "man" is talked about.

Part 15

When Athos awoke he was unsure how much time had passed. When he noticed Aramis was once again absent from their midst, he began to panic and quickly threw back the blanket. As he grabbed his breeches, he noticed that Aramis’ clothes were still in a heap where he had left them. Hoping that meant he had not gone farther than the outer room, Athos went in search of him. 

He sagged in relief when he saw him sitting at the small table, last night’s untouched glass of wine held loosely in his hands. Taking a second to steady himself, Athos walked over to the table and sat down beside him. 

“Were you able to rest at all?” he asked.

“A bit,” Aramis replied. His eyes were fixed on the glass in his hands and his voice sounded far away. “I could not seem to get my mind to quiet. Every time I closed my eyes… well, there are many things in my past I have no desire to revisit.”

“And yet I fear we must,” Athos said as gently as he could. 

Aramis jerked his head up and stared at the other man with a mixture of fear and hurt. “Surely you heard enough of my sordid past already…”

“Do you think that if we had known what you had been through that we would have continued yesterday?” Athos asked him gravely. “Porthos had misgivings as it was. It was I who pushed it and had I known I would never have done so. Had he known, Porthos would have stopped it at once.”

Aramis fell silent then, seeming to weigh Athos’ words. He knew in his head that Athos was right. It was long past time that he tell his lovers of his past, but he was scared. He did not want to lose their respect. Still, they had a right to know just who they had taken into their bed.

The silence continued for long minutes before Athos spoke again. “I would like to speak with you about something else while Porthos is not here,” he said, pitching his voice low so it would not carry.

Aramis looked at him and frowned but nodded.

“What you said last night, about going where we could not follow. Tell me what you meant.”

Aramis looked down at the glass in his hands once more, unable to bear the look in Athos’ eyes. Half a dozen excuses flitted through his head but he disregarded them, refusing to lie to him. “Do you know that almost all religions believe that to commit suicide is to damn your soul for all eternity?” he finally replied.

Athos felt like he had been punched. He had told himself last night that he was mistaken, that Porthos was overreacting. Now, however, it seemed he had been right. Anger surged up inside of him but he shoved it back down. Aramis did not need his anger right now. What Aramis needed was a reminder. 

“If you think for one second that there is anywhere we would not willingly follow you then you are a fool, brother,” Athos told him.

Aramis’ head snapped up and he gasped. “No,” he said, shaking his head. “No, that is not… No.”

“We will never leave you,” Athos told him calmly. “Wherever you go, we shall follow, even unto hell if that is where you see fit to lead us.”

“Athos, no, please,” Aramis begged, distraught at the idea of his dear brothers doing something so heinous because of him.

“That, what you are feeling right now, that is how we feel as well,” Athos told him. “I understand despair. I have lived with my fair share of it as have you. But you will not give in to it. You will not give in to hopelessness. Not unless you intend to damn us all.”

“I’m sorry,” Aramis gasped, squeezing his eyes shut tight to try to keep his tears from spilling down his cheeks. When a sob tore its way out of his chest, however, he gave up and simply let the tears come, burying his face in his hands.

Athos was out of his chair and at Aramis’ side in an instant. He crouched next to him and pulled him into his arms, pressing his head down onto his shoulder. He ran his hands up and down his back as he tried to soothe him, telling him how much he loved him and that it would be alright and, most of all, that he could never, ever leave them.

When Porthos exited the bedroom, he found them like that. He paused, taking in the sight of Aramis weeping in Athos’ arms. Part of him ached for the pain his brother was in, pain that he had helped cause yet again, but part of him rejoiced that Aramis was letting them in, was showing them his fear and his pain and allowing them to help him.

“Should I go?” Porthos asked softly, not wanting to intrude upon them if they did not wish him to. For as much as he wanted to go and pull them both into his arms and hold them, if Athos was managing to get through to Aramis he did not want to interfere with that. 

“No, please,” Aramis said brokenly from Athos shoulder. 

That was all Porthos needed to hear. He crossed the room quickly and knelt down behind Aramis’ chair. It was a bit awkward with the chair in the way but he managed to slip his arms around the man enough so that he could feel him there. 

“I am here, brother,” Porthos whispered to him. “I am here and nothing on this earth will remove me from your side.” Porthos did not know why his words seemed to make Aramis cry even harder and he cast a glance at Athos. He saw his brother shake his head and let it go. Athos understood. That was good enough for now.

They held him until he calmed then reluctantly moved back, taking their seats around the table and letting Aramis do so as well. “Aramis and I were discussing last night,” Athos told Porthos. “I think it would be wise if he were to tell us about the other things in his past so that mistakes such as yesterday’s are not made again.”

“Believe me, Athos, I have no intention of ever doing anything like that again,” Aramis said with a shudder. 

“You did not like being in charge, as it were?” Athos asked, cocking his head as he regarded the other man. “For I got the very instinct impression that you did.”

“It is not my place,” Aramis said softly. 

Athos stilled, warning bells going off in his head at Aramis’ softly spoken words. He saw Porthos open his mouth to protest and shook his head minutely. Now was not the time for this argument. Aramis was in no fit state to even hear them in this regard. For now, they would have to leave it lie.

“I do not know that I agree with you,” Athos said carefully, “but I shall not argue the fact with you now.”

“Why don’t you want to tell us, ‘Mis?” Porthos asked. “Does it hurt too much to remember them or are you afraid of what we might think?”

“Both,” Aramis replied, his voice subdued. “Though mostly the latter.”

“You know it will make no difference to us,” Athos told him.

“You don’t know that,” Aramis replied. “You have no idea the things that I’ve done.”

“I think we’ve got a pretty good idea about a few of them,” Porthos said. “But I don’t know that I’d call any of those things that _you_ did.”

“I was not always a boy, Porthos,” Aramis countered. “And even you cannot call taking coin in exchange for sex anything other than whoredom.”

“Maybe not,” Porthos shrugged. “But that doesn’t mean I’m going to look down on you for it. Tell me why you did it. I know you. It wasn’t just to make some easy coin. Either somebody was making you or your need was dire.”

“You say that with a great deal of conviction,” Aramis said.

“Because it is true,” Athos put in. “You have a tendency toward promiscuity but that is not the same thing. Porthos is correct; you would not have done something of that nature simply for the money unless you had no other recourse.”

“The first few times Tristan whored me out, I did not realize that money was changing hands,” Aramis began. If his brothers wanted to know all of his sordid past then he would tell them and deal with the consequences come what may.

“The next few times, I told myself that it didn’t have anything to do with what I had done,” he continued. “I spun pretty stories in my head. That they owed him money. That they lost a bet. That they were there to purchase something. That last was true, only the thing they were purchasing turned out to be me.”

“How old were you?” Porthos asked again. He had asked him this last night but Aramis had only said ‘young’ and ‘a boy’. Porthos knew that could mean just about anything. Hell, they called d’Artagnan boy half the time. 

“I am not going to tell you that,” Aramis said.

“Why not?” Athos asked, wondering why Aramis would want to hide this face in particular from them, especially when it would exonerate him even more so.

“Because killing an old man really is beneath him,” Aramis replied.

“And if you tell us how old you really were, he will kill him? Regardless of the fact that he is old and feeble and completely incapable of defending himself?” Athos asked.

“Yes,” Aramis replied.

“Sweet Lord,” Porthos whispered. He reached across the table and took Aramis’ hand in his. 

“How many times were you hurt by the people he let… let use you?” Athos asked.

Aramis shrugged. “Not many. At least not overly much. There were only two other times that it was serious. The last one, it nearly killed me. That was when I decided I’d had enough. It was another week, of course, before I was healed enough to be able to leave but it was the last time I let him or any of his friends touch me.”

“What else did he do to you?” Porthos asked.

“That was pretty much the whole of it. He whored me out. Let them do whatever they pleased to me. No… no part of me was denied them. I do not believe there is an act between two men that I am not familiar with. I learned rather quickly that if I kept my head down and did as I was told that I was less likely to end up with bruises or lash marks.”

Athos had to close his eyes for a moment as Aramis’ earlier words rang in his head. _It is not my place._ That made so much horrible, heart-breaking sense now. And he had endured all of this when he had been little more than a half-grown boy. My God, how had he managed to survive it, let alone stay sane?

“Athos, are you alright?” Aramis asked. He had grown concerned when Athos had fallen silent and had looked up to see his brother with his eyes squeezed shut. He laid his hand over Athos’ arm and squeezed gently. He understood how upsetting it must be to hear about such things and wished there was some way to make this easier on the other two.

“I am alright,” Athos said, opening his eyes and covering Aramis’ hand with his own. “I just needed a moment. It is… difficult… to imagine anyone in such dire circumstances, but to know it was you breaks my heart.”

“Perhaps we should stop this,” Aramis suggested, worried now that he was hurting them too much.

“No,” Porthos said, shaking his head. “We need to get this out between us. Or at least start to. And you need to know that it won’t change anything about how we see you, what we feel for you.”

“Very well,” Aramis agreed, not wanting to argue.

“You told Porthos that you were not always a boy when you endured such things,” Athos said. “Will you tell us about that?”

“There is not much to tell,” Aramis hedged. While part of this he did not mind laying bare for his brothers, there was a particular incident he would prefer they never find out about. “When I first came to Paris after leaving the church, I had little money, no friends, and no prospects. I had thought I could find work easily enough. But it was winter and I was wrong. Before long, I was out of money and in very real danger of starving to death. That was… that was the first time I ever took coin for it of my own volition. It worked well enough for Tristan, and it was better than starving.”

“How long did you…” Porthos began.

“About a year,” Aramis replied. “Just until I had enough saved up to buy a sword and learn how to use it. It was not long afterwards that I met Treville. He introduced me to a friend of his who was recruiting for his unit and that was the last time I ever had to trade coin for sex.”

Athos had listened to Aramis’ words, noting the very careful way he phrased things. Aramis was a master when it came to word games and this was no exception. He hesitated, though, unsure if he should ask the question or not. For it was obvious there was something else Aramis did not want them to know. As much as he wanted to allow his brother his secrets, Athos was too afraid of it coming back to haunt them as this one had done. 

“But it was not the last time you traded sex for something other than coin, was it?” Athos asked, keeping his voice carefully neutral.

“Please,” Aramis beseeched. “Please do not ask me this. No, it was not the last time, but you do not need to know the particulars of it. Only that it was once and never again.”

“Why are you so frightened?” Porthos asked, tightening his grip on the hand he held. “Surely you know by now that you will find no censure in us. Not for any of this. There is no shame in wanting to live. You hurt no one by your actions. What is it you are so afraid of?”

Athos watched him. He saw the panicked look in Aramis’ eyes as he looked back and forth between them. There was something else there as well. It was guilt. Whatever it was, Aramis felt guilty about it in a way he did not for the other things he had spoken of. But Aramis had said he had not done any of this since they had been together so Athos was unsure what he could be feeling guilty about. Whatever it was, they needed to get it out in the open. Only then could they hope to move past this nightmare.

“Aramis, calm yourself,” Athos soothed. “Whatever it is, you can tell us. You do not need to fear this so.”

Aramis shook his head, fighting with the urge to do as he was told versus his desire to protect them from this last dreadful secret. He was not worried for himself. How much further could he possibly fall in their eyes, but he would sooner cut off his own arm than hurt one of his brothers.

As Athos continued to study him, it was as if light dawned. Aramis was not worried about what they would think of him, Aramis was worried _about_ them. Whatever this was, it concerned one of them in some way. The thought made Athos’ blood run cold and he had to swallow around the sudden lump in his throat before he could speak.

“Which one of us?” he asked, causing Aramis’ head to snap up.

“What?” Porthos asked, frowning.

“Which one of us were you protecting? I am assuming, of course, that that is what you were doing. Please tell me if I am wrong.” 

“Is Athos right?” Porthos asked gently when Aramis failed to reply. “Were you protecting one of us?”

Aramis looked up at him then back at Athos. Knowing he had no choice now but to tell them, he nodded jerkily, flinching when Porthos gasped. He felt fresh tears sting his eyes but choked them back. His brothers had demanded to know so he would tell them.

“It was about three months after you had joined the regiment,” Aramis said to Athos, his voice taking on a subdued tone once more. “Your drinking was getting out of hand. I had heard Treville dressing you down, threatening to boot you out if you got into any more trouble because of it. 

“I decided to keep an eye on you. Just to make sure trouble didn’t end up finding you. It was working for the first couple of days then I got held up at the garrison. When I went to find you, you weren’t at your usual tavern. It took me about two hours to track you down. By then you were past drunk and were being helped outside by the barkeep. 

“A group of Red Guards was sweeping the area, picking up anyone that gave them any reason to. I tried to get to you before they did but I didn’t make it. They were going to run you in. I knew Treville would make good on his threat if they did. So I took the Lieutenant aside and asked what it would take for you to be released into my custody. Luckily, all he asked was the use of my mouth and he kept his word about letting you go.”

Athos could not stop staring when Aramis finally fell silent. He could not believe his lover had gone to such lengths for him and long before they had even been friends, let alone anything more. “Why?” he asked, stricken. “You did not even know me. Why would you do such a thing for me?”

Aramis shrugged again. “You seemed like a good man, or at least you would be if we could get your drinking under control. I did not wish to see such potential wasted because you were feeling self-destructive.”

“And that… that was the last time?” Athos asked, having to be sure. He prayed it was for he did not know what he would do if Aramis had been forced to do that more than once for his sake.

“That was the last time,” Aramis confirmed.

“Thank God,” Athos sighed. He saw Aramis’ look of confusion and felt his heart break a little more. “To know you had to suffer such even once for my sake is painful enough. If it had been more than that…”

“I would do anything for you,” Aramis told him. “Letting that bastard use my mouth was nothing if it meant getting you out of there safely.”

“It is not nothing to us, love,” Porthos choked out. He had felt his insides slowly turning to ice as Aramis had talked of protecting Athos, of sacrificing himself as if he had no worth other than on his knees. 

They fell silent again for a bit, each of them trying to come to terms with all they had shared between them. Aramis was wondering how long it would be before they realized that they had actually taken a whore into their bed. He knew when they did his days as their lover would be over. Porthos might be willing to overlook such a sordid past, but Athos would never be able to. Aramis did not blame him for that, though. After all, it had left him uniquely able to protect his brother when the opportunity had presented itself.

Athos wanted very badly to be sick. It was one thing to hear of Aramis’ earlier abuse. It was another thing entirely to know the man had willingly suffered such for his sake. And all because he had been too wrapped up in himself, in his own pain, to cope. As he watched Aramis, he saw the flicker of sadness in his eyes whenever he glanced his way and could guess at what it meant. Athos the Comte would never sink to bedding a whore, especially after his disastrous marriage. And while Athos the Musketeer might find his pleasure in one on occasion, even he would not deign to keep one as a lover. However, there was a fundamental flaw to that reasoning that Aramis was no doubt missing and that was the fact that Athos no more considered him a whore than he considered the Cardinal a pious man. He may have been forced by both others and circumstances to play the part but it was not who he was and Athos would keep telling him that until he believed it.

Porthos scrubbed his hand over his face wearily. For someone who had just risen from bed, he was surprisingly tired. He knew they had a long way to go. They had barely scratched the surface of this whole mess. And that was without taking yesterday’s debacle into account. For he knew they still had to talk about that as well. He had a good idea of what all was troubling Aramis about it but he had a feeling there might be more and he wanted to make sure. 

“We still need to talk about what happened yesterday,” Porthos began. “I know we already have but I think there might be more we need to talk out.”

“Yes,” Aramis said. “I do want to… to apologize to you, Porthos, and to… to try to make amends in some way.”

“For what, love?” Porthos asked, knowing now they were getting to the rest of the matter. It was not solely Aramis’ treatment of Athos that was upsetting him but something to do with him as well.

“For making you participate in such a manner,” Aramis answered weakly. “I made you… I made you force him…”

“Oh, ‘Mis, no,” Porthos said. “You did no such thing. For one, I did not force him. Ask him yourself if you don’t believe me. For another, you did not make me do anything. I could have said no. The fact that I did not is on me, not you.”

“You wanted to stop,” Aramis argued. “You did not even want him to try in the first place. I was the one that insisted on degrading him in such a manner.”

“Aramis, do you consider it a degradation when we do it to you?” Athos asked. He was trying to prove a point but he was also suddenly worried about what the answer to that question actually might be in light of everything they had learned. 

“No, but I am… not like you,” Aramis replied. “You and Porthos, you are not the sort of men to… to be humbled in such a manner.”

“He wanted to try as well or I would have stopped it,” Porthos told him. “If Athos had not wanted to try, I would not have let you do it. You made us promise not to let you hurt us and I would not have.”

“I can see that you struggle to accept our words,” Athos said. “Perhaps, think on them? It has been a trying few days for all of us. Just know that our love and respect for you have not changed except to perhaps grow stronger.”

“I do not understand how you can even still want me near you,” Aramis admitted. “I hurt you. I betrayed your trust and abused your desire to regain my own. I am unworthy to even call myself your brother let alone anything more.”

“Stop that now,” Porthos said. “We have made mistakes in this, all of us. And the mistakes made by Athos and I are by far the worst of the lot. But we are still together and we shall get through this as we do everything. Together.”

“Listen to Porthos,” Athos told him. “He is right.”

“You hear that, Athos says I’m right for once.”

“It was bound to happen sooner or later,” Athos quipped, hoping to at least earn a smile from Aramis. He contented himself with the slight upturn of his lover’s lips. 

“There is one more thing I need to ask you, love,” Porthos said carefully. “We need to know if there are other… acts that are gonna have troublesome memories for you.”

Aramis snorted a laugh as he looked back and forth between them. He noted their serious faces and shook his head. “I am sorry. I do not believe there is a sex act that does not have a ‘troublesome memory for me’ as you put it. Most of the time, the past does not see fit to intrude upon the present.”

“If it ever does,” Athos began, hesitantly. “If you ever find yourself struggling to deal with something, will you tell us?”

“You should not be made to suffer for the mistakes of my past,” Aramis said.

“Please, love,” Porthos pled. “I have to know you’ll tell me if something I’m doing is hurting you in some way.”

“As do I,” Athos added. “To know my touch was bringing you discomfort or pain and yet you simply endured it would wound me greatly.”

“I… I will try,” Aramis told them. “But you must understand… Tristan… he… the ability to even say when I did not like something… that was one of the very first things he beat out of me.”


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: prior possible under-age sex is talked about. No ages are actually mentioned but sex between a "boy" and a "man" is talked about.

Part 16

By some miracle they actually managed to get Aramis to sleep for a bit. They had stayed with him at first, until their own restlessness proved more a hindrance than a help. They slipped from the bed then and went back into the other room. They left the bedroom door propped fully open in case Aramis might need have need of them. Of the three of them, he was often the one most plagued by nightmares. Now, at least, they could understand why. 

“I did like it, you know,” Athos said quietly, not wanting his voice to carry should Aramis awaken. “He thinks he that he did something onerous to me but that is not true. I… I enjoyed it. It was… nerve-wracking at first. The sensation, it is hard to describe, but I did enjoy the act. And I enjoyed being able to give you that, to bring you pleasure that way.”

“I’m glad you were able to enjoy it. I don’t know that Aramis will be ready to hear that any time soon, though. It’s all tied up in his head,” Porthos reasoned. “He sees you as the boy he had been, in love and willing to do anything his lover asked of him. Surely you can see the similarities.”

“Yes,” Athos admitted, disgust rising within him once more. He had not thought of it in quite that way. While he had understood that Aramis has likened himself to the man who had hurt him, Athos had not realized that Aramis had cast him in the role of naïve young victim. 

“It’s not your fault, love,” Porthos said, taking Athos’ hand in his. “You had no way to know any of this. Neither of us did. If we had, this never would have happened.”

“Perhaps,” Athos agreed somewhat reluctantly. “But now I must ask myself how it is that we have missed all of this and for so long?”

“This is Aramis we’re talking about,” Porthos snorted. “And if there is one thing he is even better at than using a musket, it’s burying things he doesn’t want to remember. At least until they come back around to bite him on the ass. We have only to look at the whole mess with Marsac to see that. For five long years he had buried the ghosts of Savoy until that wretch showed up and stirred everything up all over again.”

“I suppose,” Athos mused. “Part of me wonders, though, if it was not the only way for him to hold on to his sanity. We do not know how long this man had him in his clutches but it must have been some fair length of time to so utterly break his will. To endure such atrocities for an extended period can break even the strongest of minds. I think… I think we are quite lucky that he is even with us at all.”

“I want to find this man, Athos,” Porthos snarled angrily. “I don’t care how fucking old and bloody defenseless he is. He didn’t care how defenseless Aramis was. He didn’t care that he was a no more than a bloody…”

“Peace, brother,” Athos soothed. “I know you want to kill him. I want to kill him, too. And I want to do it slowly, over as many days as we can possibly stretch it out. However, I do not believe Aramis will allow such a thing. For whatever reason, he does not feel such a punishment is warranted.”

Porthos shook his head at that, knowing Athos was right but hating it any way. Letting it go, he asked one of the other questions that was still burning inside of him. “How old do you think he was?”

“I do not know and I do not think I want to know,” Athos told him. “Neither, brother, do you. We shall have enough nightmares of this as it is. We do not need to make it any worse for ourselves. Let it go, Porthos. For your own sake as much as his.”

Porthos nodded, knowing it probably was for the best. There was one final thing he wanted to ask Athos about. Something he was pretty sure Aramis would not be willing to offer much information about. “That run in with the Red Guard that Aramis talked about,” he said. “Don’t suppose you recall it at all?”

“No.” Athos looked away, unable to meet Porthos’ steady gaze. It shamed him to know what his dear brother had endured for his sake. How many times had he rebuffed Aramis after that incident? How many times had Aramis offered his hand only for Athos to turn his nose up at it, too unwilling to trust?

“Look at me, brother,” Porthos told him. He waited until Athos did so then reached across the table and cupped his face. “It was not your fault. Being drunk, yeah okay, but not the rest of it. It was his choice. You never even knew about it.”

“He should not have done it,” Athos said.

“So he should have let the Guard pick you up? You’d have probably only gotten the stocks but Treville would have given you the boot for sure.”

“Are you truly saying it was better for him to… to sacrifice his dignity in such a manner than for me to suffer the consequences of my own foolishness?” Athos asked, appalled that Porthos could think such a thing.

“No,” Porthos said. “I think that there was no good way out. I think that had it been anyone but Aramis, the bastard would have taken his purse and let you go. But that’s not how it played out and there is not much to be done for it now. Not if we don’t know who the Guard was.”

“I do not think I even saw him,” Athos said dejectedly. 

“Then that’s that,” Porthos sighed.

When Aramis awoke a short while later, he somehow felt both better and worse at the same time. He felt better for the small amount of sleep he had managed, his body and mind needing the rest. His soul, however, was still in turmoil. He took note that he was alone in his bed and felt a moment of panic seize him. He knew his brothers had not left him, they would not have simply abandoned him, but the fact that they were not here now made his heart feel as if a hand of ice was squeezing it.

He had not realized he had begun to softly keen until his brothers appeared in the doorway, looking worried. Athos went to his side at once and sat down with Porthos close behind him. As soon as he was close enough, Aramis’ hand shot out and fisted in Athos’ loose shirt.

“What is it? What’s wrong?” Athos asked as covered Aramis’ hand with his own and cupped his face with the other. 

“I awoke,” Aramis somehow managed to get out, though his words seemed to want to stick in his throat.

“And we were not here,” Athos finished for him. “Forgive us. Our restlessness was disturbing your sleep. We went into the other room. We should not have left you.”

“It is alright,” Aramis told him. “I am not a child in need of being coddled.”

“You are much more precious to us than that,” Athos told him. “You are our lover and we should have been here when you awoke. You would think we had learned this lesson the last time.”

Aramis frowned, not understanding what Athos was referring to. 

Porthos smiled a bit sadly over Athos’ shoulder. “After Marsac,” he said. “That night we slept in the outer room. You thought we’d left you then, too.”

“Oh,” Aramis said, surprised. “I… I thought it was the weather that forced you to remain.”

“Being in your presence is never a chore,” Porthos told him. “Nothing forced us to stay. We wanted to be close in case you had need of us. Fat lot of good it did.”

“Stop it,” Aramis told him. “You tried, that is all that truly matters.”

“So do you feel up to getting something to eat?” Athos asked him, changing the subject. None of them had eaten anything all day and he was not sure when the last time was Aramis had eaten the day before. While he was not very hungry himself, he would go through the motions if it meant getting some food into Aramis.

“I suppose,” he replied, not really caring. He paused for a moment then looked at his brothers. “Have you two not eaten?”

“We had a few more important things on our minds, love,” Porthos told him.

“Let me dress,” Aramis said. “We shall go out at once.” 

“Only if you feel up to it,” Athos said. “If not, we can make do here for now.”

“I can manage dinner,” Aramis replied. He looked at Athos and his eyes softened at the worry he saw on his brother’s face. “Perhaps the fresh air and some food will help me to regain my equilibrium a bit.”

“Alright,” Athos said. He leaned forward and kissed Aramis’ forehead then stood up so he could rise from the bed.

“Maybe we should go to a different inn this time,” Porthos suggested, not sure any of them were up to an encounter with Lizette right now.

“No,” Aramis replied. “I am sure my… agitated state is quite evident. As is your own obvious worry. We may as well make use of them while we can.”

“Are you certain you are up to this?” Athos asked. “We understand if you are not. I am not at all certain that I am up to seeing some devil woman make eyes at you right now.”

“I will be alright,” Aramis told him. “I have my brothers at my back after all.”

The walk to the inn was a pleasant one. They took their time, enjoying the fresh air, glad to see some of Aramis’ normal confidence returning. Athos did not like to admit it, but seeing him so quelled had been disturbing in a way he hoped to never again experience. It was true that Aramis was, as a rule, the more submissive of them when it came to sex, but to see him actually cowed made something inside of Athos lurch painfully. And he could not help but recall Aramis’ words. _It was not his place._ What, he had to wonder, did Aramis think his place was now?

The inn was not very crowded when they arrived as they were rather early for once. Athos and Porthos were relieved to see no sign of Lizette. Aramis, however, knew better than to get his hopes up. She had turned up here too many times for it to be mere coincidence. He suspected someone here was watching and letting her know when they came in. If he was correct, she would show up sooner rather than later.

Just as Aramis predicted, Lizette arrived as they were finishing their meal. He had purposely sat with his back to the door and his brothers across from him so he could let their reactions guide him. He needn’t have worried. A blind man would have known when Lizette entered the inn just by the way Porthos stiffened across from him. 

“Easy, brother,” Aramis whispered, letting his foot press against Porthos’ leg under the table. He could see the bigger man’s hand gripping his cup dangerously tight and he worried that he might actually crush it in his hand. 

He knew the exact moment when Lizette took in the little drama playing out at their table, mistaking it just as he had intended for her to. He watched Athos’ eyes narrow and knew she was probably smirking behind him. Very soon he would have to make some excuse to rise so he could run into her. Knowing he would likely get no better opening than the one his brothers were currently giving him, he let his foot brush against Porthos’ leg once more before angrily slamming down his own cup and glaring at the pair of them.

“I cannot believe the two of you,” he hissed. “We shall continue this _later_.” With that, he stood abruptly and spun around, letting surprise color his face as he nearly ran bodily into Lizette.

“Aramis, is everything alright?” she asked, placing one hand upon his arm and the other upon his chest just below the open vee of his doublet and shirt.

“I beg your pardon, Mademoiselle,” he said, stepping back and bowing slightly.

“Oh, don’t be silly,” she said, stepping closer to him once more. “You seem upset. Is something wrong?”

“No,” he said, casting an irritated glance over his shoulder. “My _companions_ and I are having a bit of a disagreement. Please forgive us for disturbing you with this foolishness.”

“I would forgive you anything, Monsieur,” she said. “But your friends do not look very happy with you. Perhaps it would be best if you parted company with them for the evening.”

“Ah,” Aramis stammered, caught off guard for a moment. He had not been expecting such a bold approach so soon. He smiled then, the smile he always used to use whenever he wanted a lady to look upon him favorably. It was a smile filled with promise. “How I wish that were an option. However, we are due to report to our Captain and must be on our way.”

“Well, perhaps after your duties have been seen to you might find some free time,” she replied, letting her hand stroke along his chest. 

“I would like nothing more,” he purred as he leaned in close to her, letting his nose barely brush against the curls of her hair. “Good evening, my dear.”

“Good evening, Aramis. I look forward to seeing much more of you.”

“And I, you.” He kissed her hand and walked out of the inn, refusing to look back at either her or his brothers. He needed to get the hell out of there before he botched their entire plan by slapping the bitch’s hand off his chest. He felt positively filthy where she had touched him, as if her touch had somehow branded him and he could not wait to get home and scrub himself raw.

“Oi! Aramis, wait!” Porthos called as he and Athos raced to catch up with him. 

He did not stop, but slowed enough for them to close the distance without having to run then picked up the pace again. He needed to get home. Then perhaps he could get his raging emotions back under some semblance of control and they could plan their next steps.

“Are you alright?” Athos whispered worriedly.

“No,” Aramis ground out. “Just… I need to get home.”

“Almost there,” Porthos told him. He gripped him by the elbow, not caring at the moment who might be watching, and glared at anyone that so much as looked in their direction. Considering how truly thunderous Porthos could look when he chose to, it was no surprise that people were practically scrambling to get out of their path.

Athos stood nearly pressed to Aramis’ back as Porthos unlocked the door and ushered him inside. It was foolish, of course, but he felt a sudden need to protect his brother. Leaving Aramis’ back exposed was simply not an option at the moment.

Once they were safely inside with the door bolted shut, Aramis began tearing at his doublet, frantic to get it off. He could still feel her hands upon him, burning into him even through his clothes and it made his stomach clench in threatened rebellion.

“Easy, love,” Porthos said as he came over to stand in front of Aramis. He covered his hands with his own, stilling them. Athos moved up behind Aramis and pressed himself along his back. He reached around and took his hands away, pulling them down to his sides and holding them there loosely. 

With Aramis’ movements now stilled, Porthos began to unfasten his doublet. He removed his weapons and belts and hung them up then finished unbuttoning his coat. Athos let go of his wrists and stepped back in order to pull the garment off of him completely.

“Better?” Porthos asked.

Aramis nodded then concentrated on steadying himself. “I need to bathe,” he told them. “Where she touched me… I feel unclean.”

Porthos eyes widened at Aramis’ words. He had not realized that her mere touch had affected Aramis so. “It’s alright, love. We’ll help you get clean again,” he said softly.

“Finish helping him with his shirt,” Athos said. “I shall fetch some water and rags.”

Porthos did as Athos said and helped Aramis out of his shirt. His lover stood and let him do as he would, his arms at his sides unless Porthos directed him otherwise. He was feeling both overwhelmed and horribly exposed now that Athos was no longer pressed against his back but, at the moment, he had no idea how to articulate that.

Athos returned rather just as Porthos was pulling Aramis’ shirt over his head. He knelt down and set the basin of water beside him, then handed a rag to Porthos. He laid another aside to dry Aramis with then wet a third and took Aramis’ left hand in his own. With gentle strokes, he began to bathe him, starting with his fingers and working all the way up his arm. He saw Porthos wetting his own rag and beginning on Aramis’ other hand so he concentrated on the task at hand.

Athos knew he had reached the place where Lizette had put her hand on Aramis’ chest by the low keen Aramis let out. He glanced at his face sharply, making sure he had not hurt him in some way but the pain he saw there was not physical in nature. Understanding, Athos washed that place on Aramis’ chest again and again, until Aramis finally began to relax. Only then did Athos wash over the rest of Aramis’ chest and stomach.

With Athos concentrating on removing that viper’s touch from Aramis’ chest, Porthos moved around to his back and began cleaning it as well. He kept his touch just as gentle and soothing as Athos’ as they worked together to slowly ease Aramis’ pain.

“Do you wish us to bathe you fully?” Athos asked once Aramis’ top half was finally cleaned to his satisfaction. 

“That is not necessary,” Aramis replied, looking away. He felt Porthos press against his back then and let himself lean back into it.

“What did we say about necessary?” Porthos reminded him. “We do not care about necessary. Do you wish us to bathe you? We only hesitate because we do not wish to offer a touch you do not desire and… well, it is hard to read you right now, brother.”

Aramis tensed then forced himself to relax. He understood what Porthos was saying and he was grateful for their care. “Perhaps… later?” he offered, suddenly unsure. He would not refuse them if this was something they desired but he was not sure he could handle being touched in such a manner right now.

“You have but to tell us,” Athos said. He got to his feet and picked up the towel he had set aside. He quickly dried Aramis’ front then passed it to Porthos so he could dry his back. 

“You want your shirt back on?” Porthos asked, holding it out to him while Athos gathered the basin and rags and carried them into the other room.

“No,” Aramis shook his head as he took the garment and folded it. 

“I’ll start a fire then,” Porthos said, not wanting Aramis to grow chilled.

“You worry for me entirely too much,” Aramis said, the hint of a smile tugging at his mouth.

“That is not possible,” Athos said as he joined him at the table.


	17. Chapter 17

Part 17

Even after being bathed by his brothers, Aramis could still feel the weight of her hand upon his chest. It made his skin crawl and the food he had eaten sit uneasy in his belly. He knew his brothers were worried for him, for his reaction. He admitted it was somewhat… problematic. For their plan to have any chance at success, he was going to have to get much closer to Lizette and he could not do that if he made it clear that her touch repulsed him.

“You are thinking quite loudly,” Porthos told him, trying to draw him back to them.

“Just thinking about what we should do next,” Aramis replied.

“Are you certain you can do this?” Athos asked bluntly. 

“What choice have we?” Aramis asked. “It is highly doubtful she is working alone as I have never laid eyes on her before the other day. For that reason alone, we must find out what it is they have planned. I will not see you two put at risk because of me.”

“We could just ignore her,” Porthos suggested. “Stick together. Let her know that we’re on to her.”

“I fear that would only drive them to more drastic actions,” Aramis replied. “If they cannot easily get me separated from the two of you, who knows what lengths they might go to in order to do so.”

“Then perhaps it is time we bring the others in on this,” Athos said. “I will send word for the Captain to meet us at Madame Bonacieux’s. There we can fill the three of them in and see what thoughts they might have. If nothing else, it will give us three more sets of eyes.”

“Though I am loathe to involve d’Artagnan and Constance in this, it might be in their best interest to at least warn them,” Aramis said. 

“We’ll do our best to keep them out of it,” Porthos agreed. “But Athos is right, three more pairs of eyes won’t hurt.”

They sent word to the Captain and arranged for him to meet them the next day for noon meal at Constance’s. The Captain’s reply let them know he and d’Artagnan would be there and that they would both be on their guard until then.

“Guess now all we do is wait,” Porthos said.

“If you still wish to bathe me, you may,” Aramis told them, surprising both men.

“What do you wish?” Athos asked.

“To please you,” Aramis replied, looking down. He could not bring himself to meet their eyes. 

“You please us just by being here with us. You do not have to allow us more,” Porthos told him.

“I see,” Aramis replied as neutrally as he could manage.

“You see nothing,” Athos told him. “Your pain and fear have all but blinded you. You think your past somehow makes you less in our eyes when in truth we are awed by your strength. How you endured… It would have destroyed me utterly. You, however, refused to let it break you. Just as you refused to let Savoy break you. Just as you refused to let our betrayal break you. You, Aramis, have a strength of spirit I will never have. And _that_ is what your past has shown me.”

Aramis shook his head then shoved back from the table angrily. He began to pace back and forth in the room, running his hand through his hair anxiously. “No,” he snarled. “You cannot sit there and tell me you see… see strength when I have told you of nothing but weakness. I was a **whore** , Athos!”

“You were a **child**!” Athos roared back as he shot to his feet, fists clenched at his sides. He took a deep breath and forced himself to try to calm. “You were a child, surviving the only way you could. And I doubt if it was long after you escaped him before you fled to Paris, still a boy no doubt. If you are waiting for me to begrudge you what you had to do in order to live… in order to be here, now, with us, then you shall be waiting a very long time.”

“Athos is right, love,” Porthos said gently. He could see the fear in Aramis’ eyes and was trying to calm him somewhat. While he did not blame Athos for losing his temper, yelling at Aramis was not helping. “We’re never going to look down on something that brought you to us, that helped keep you alive.”

“You would not say that if you knew of all of the things that I have done.”

“So tell us then,” Athos all but goaded, ignoring the warning look Porthos shot him. When Aramis turned away from him again, Athos felt his anger surge. “Tell us, Aramis. Did you harm an innocent? Did you force yourself on another?”

“Only you.”

The softly spoken words hit Athos like a blow and he froze, his anger dissipating like smoke in the wind. “You did not force me,” he said, his tone almost pleading as he tried to get Aramis to believe him.

“You do not need to lie to me,” Aramis said.

“I am not,” Athos told him, shaking his head. “I enjoyed it. What will it take to prove to you that I am not lying? That I wanted what we did just as much as you did?”

“I simply do not see how a man such as you could want such a thing. It is one thing for me to behave so sluttishly but…”

“Hey!” Porthos snapped, his own temper flaring at that. “Since when is making your lovers feel good a bad thing? You think we look down on you for enjoying being with us?”

“N-no,” Aramis stammered.

“Have we had the wrong of it all this time?” Athos asked softly, unable to mask the pain of his words. “Have you merely been enduring our touches? Have you not wanted…”

“No! Athos, no. I swear,” Aramis said at once. “Please, please do not think I do not want you, that I have not desired your touch more than air.”

“And yet you call yourself a slut for doing so as if… as if lying with us was something wrong, something shameful.”

Aramis shook his head at that and reached out to take Athos by the arms. “Listen to me,” he told him firmly. “Being with the two you has never once brought me shame. You have never once made me feel wrong or dirty or used. You have only ever made me feel loved and cherished in a way that, quite frankly, I never thought possible.”

“Then believe us when we say the same is true for us as well,” Athos told him. “You have given us more love than we have ever dreamt of. You did nothing to force me. If I had not wanted to do what we did the other night, I would have said no. If Porthos had not seen the desire in my eyes, _he_ would have said no. You did not take advantage. We would never let you do that because we know how much it would end up hurting you.”

“He’s right,” Porthos agreed. “I was going to put a stop to it but I looked at Athos and I saw how much he wanted to try. We both love you more than life, Aramis. We haven’t been whole without you. Do you really think we’d do anything to let you hurt yourself if we could stop it?”


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aramis' emotional roller coaster continues...

Part 18

Aramis sat down heavily, the weight of his brothers’ words more than he could bear. He wanted to believe them, desperately so, yet some part of him was hesitant, fearful even now of trusting too much, of believing only to find out he was wrong yet again. He hating holding himself back from them. It felt wrong to deny them in such a manner. He understood part of that had to do with Tristan and the lessons he had beaten into him. The rest, however, was his genuine desire to care for them, to make them happy and ease their sorrow, if only for a little while.

He knew his brothers blamed themselves for his inability to trust them as he once had. It was not their fault, though. He had forgiven them for what had happened with Marsac. No, this inability to trust was due to his own failings. It was as Athos said, his fear and pain were stopping him from trusting his brothers and allowing them back into his heart, as well as his bed. And while they said they understood, that they would gladly wait as long as Aramis needed them to, he was _not_ blind to the pain it caused them.

Aramis felt his own heart clench painfully at the thought of it. That these two men, who had made him feel more loved and cherished than he had ever thought to, that they should hurt because of him made his eyes burn with shame. They deserved so much better than he had given them. They deserved so much better than _him_. It was a wonder that they had tolerated him for this long and Aramis could not help but wonder how much longer they would put up with such outright defiance from him. 

Athos and Porthos watched as Aramis nearly collapsed onto his chair. He had at least stilled his frantic pacing but it was clear that he was anything but calm. Emotions chased themselves across his face, one after another, as they watched and waited for him to come to some sort of peace with what they had said. As the minutes dragged on, however, it became evident that there was no peace to be had. Not for Aramis. Not now, at least.

Unable to sit by and silently watch his lover continue to struggle, Athos reached for his hand. “Aramis, talk to us,” he entreated.

“I am sorry,” Aramis whispered.

“For what?” Porthos asked.

“I know my failure to trust you causes you pain,” he said.

“That we have not yet earned back your trust is not your fault,” Athos replied carefully, worried about where this conversation might be headed.

“You have done more than enough to earn it back,” Aramis told him. “The fault does not lie with either of you. You have both been patient beyond measure with me.”

“As we will continue to be,” Porthos assured him.

“How you both must tire of such defiance from me,” Aramis sighed.

“Defiance?” Porthos repeated, frowning.

Aramis looked back and forth between his lovers. He had not meant to say that aloud but now that he had, it felt as if a weight had been lifted from him. As he saw his lovers watching him expectantly, he knew he had no choice but to explain and finally give voice to one of the fears of his heart.

“I… I am yours, am I not?” he said softly. “And yet, I deny you at every turn. I hold myself back from you, offering mere kisses when, by rights, I am yours for the taking.”

“We do not own you, brother,” Porthos said, unable to keep the growl form his voice.

“And if I wish you to?” Aramis asked.

The room fell silent save for the sound of their breathing as Aramis’ words hung in the air. Porthos was stunned. Athos was as well, though less so for he had seen something of this sort coming, if not exactly this. Aramis, for his part, gripped the edge of the table as hard as he could as he waited for one of his brothers to speak. The longer the silence lasted, the more he began to panic as he realized that his brothers apparently did not want such a thing. At least not with him.

Finally, unable to stand the silence any longer, Aramis hung his head. “I apologize,” he said formally. “I misspoke. Please forget I said anything.”

“No,” Athos replied evenly, his eyes fixed on Aramis’ bowed head. He watched a shudder run through that beloved body at his reply, but Aramis did not raise his head. “Look at me, Aramis.”

Slowly, Aramis raised his head and met Athos’ eyes. His own were over-bright with barely suppressed tears and he wanted to look away but he did not. Athos had given him an order. He would not disobey it.

“Do you truly wish to be owned?” Athos asked him after a moment.

“I would allow it, if it were by the two of you,” Aramis replied. The desire to look down, to bow his head was nearly overwhelming but he resisted. Athos had not yet given him permission to look away.

“Allowing it is not the same as wanting it,” Athos replied.

“I…” Aramis opened his mouth then closed it as the words stuck in his throat.

“It is alright to be unsure, but please do not try to force yourself to do something simply because you think you should. Or, even worse, because you think we want you to.”

“Tell me why,” Porthos said suddenly. “Tell me why you would want such a thing.” He truly did not understand how Aramis could want such a thing, even from them. Not after everything he had been through. He understood that it had been years ago, but his brother still bore the scars of that time on his soul and likely always would. Porthos simply did not understand how he could willingly offer to bind himself to anyone in such a manner again.

“Because… because then the choice… the choice would not be mine,” Aramis said, trying to explain. “You could take me as you would regardless…”

“Regardless of whether you wanted it or not?” Porthos asked, aghast.

“No,” Aramis said at once, reaching out and grabbing onto Porthos’ hand as if afraid he might try to leave. “No, it is not… it is not a lack of desire that holds me back. It is… it is fear. And if… if the choice is no longer mine, then I no longer have to be afraid.”

“Oh, love,” Porthos whispered, closing his eyes against the sudden sting of tears. 

“We shall figure this out,” Athos said, his own voice coming out tight and choked. “We shall help you through this. And we shall wait for you, as long as we have to, until you can come to us without fear.”

“And when you grow tired of waiting?” Aramis asked, voicing another of the fears that lay at the heart of him.

“We will wait for you until Judgment Day if that is what it takes,” Athos vowed. “You are more to us than simply a… a body to rut in. And one day, we will manage to make you believe that again.”

&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M

When they arrived at Constance’s the next day she was quite pleased to see them, ushering them into the kitchen and around the table as soon as the three of them arrived. She could tell, though, that something was off with Aramis almost at once.

“What happened?” she asked as she sat down next to him.

“It is not them,” Aramis told her, not wanting her to think Athos or Porthos were to blame for his tension. At least not all of his tension. Not the tension that had brought them here today anyway.

Constance just looked at him and waited. He would tell her or he would not. Pushing him would do no good. Besides that, she wanted Aramis to feel like he could come here, even if he just needed a place to be for a time. She did not want him to feel pressured, not here, not by her.

“Part of it concerns them,” he tried to explain when he saw the doubt in her eyes. “But it is not of their doing. Not truly. I do not know how to explain this without…”

“You do not need to,” she told him. “If you say it is not of their doing, then that is good enough for me. You do not have to explain yourself to me.”

“We will explain, though,” Athos told her. “At least some of it, once the Captain and d’Artagnan get here.”

“Has something happened?” she asked worry coloring her words.

“A… situation has arisen,” Athos replied. “And while you and d’Artagnan are not in any danger that we are aware of, we thought it best if you were made aware.”

“We are not in danger,” she repeated. “But you three are?”

“Perhaps,” Athos shrugged. “It is as yet unknown. Please, Constance, we will explain everything we know once the others arrive.”

“There is no need to look so fearful,” Aramis soothed and pulled her into a hug. “I do not believe we are in any imminent danger. And we are being careful for once.”

She could not help but chuckle at that and she hugged Aramis back. With the tension of the previous moment broken, she released him and stepped back. “Alright,” she said. “Let me get the table set so we can at least eat before you three let us in on whatever this is.”

They had just finished laying out their meal when d’Artagnan and the Captain arrived. They greeted each other warmly, glad to see them safe and whole with their own eyes. The Captain noticed that Aramis did not look any better than he had when he had barred them from the garrison. In fact, he seemed somewhat shakier. He thought that might have to do with whatever had brought them all here today. At least he hoped it did.

They ate quickly, enjoying each others’ company but all too aware that something had brought them here today and that they needed to discuss it. Once the meal was finished and the table cleared, they settled back down around it. 

“Should I go?” Constance asked. She did not want to, but if this was some sort of Musketeer business then she could understand their need for privacy.

“No, dear lady,” Aramis told her. “This could potentially concern you as much as d’Artagnan.”

“Tell us, brother,” d’Artagnan urged. “Tell us and know that, whatever it is, we stand with you.”

Aramis closed his eyes for a moment as his gratitude at d’Artagnan’s unwavering support threatened to swamp him. “Thank you, lad,” he said, opening his eyes and regarding them all. 

Slowly, he began to tell them of Lizette. He told them of his meeting with her in the market, her feigned injury, and their subsequent meetings. “She has made her interest quite clear,” he said, a shudder running through him at the memory of her touch. At once, he felt two hands upon his back as Athos and Porthos both placed their hands on him, letting him know that they were with him.

“You think she is up to something?” the Captain asked.

“Yes,” Aramis told him. “I do not, as yet, know what. It could be something as simple as trying to lure me to her bed, but I do not think so. If that were the case, why go to all this trouble? Why not simply try to seduce me? It is not as if my reputation…”

“Hey now,” Porthos said, cutting Aramis off.

“It is only the truth, Porthos,” Aramis said not unkindly. “I have a reputation as being a bit of a whore and we are all quite aware of that. If this woman simply wanted in my bed, she would have not have felt the need for this level of subterfuge. Besides that, she seems to want to get me separated from Athos and Porthos. At the inn the other night, when we acted as if we were arguing, she suggested I part ways with them for the evening and go with her.”

“Assuming you are right and she is not just trying to get into your bed, do you have any idea why she is doing this?” d’Artagnan asked.

“No,” Aramis shook his head. “Until our collision in the market, I had never laid eyes on her before.”

“So not a spurned lover then,” Constance said. “Does she, perhaps, resemble anyone you know?”

“Resemble? No, I do not believe so. Why?”

“I was just wondering if she was perhaps someone’s sister that was seeking revenge in their name,” Constance said.

“That… that is a very good theory,” Aramis said, “but I do not recognize her in the least. Her features are not familiar to me.”

“Please do not take this wrong,” Constance said, hesitating. “But…”

“Whatever it is, ask it,” Aramis told her. “I will not hold it against you.”

“Are you certain you remember all of the women you have, um, been with?” she asked.

Aramis had the good graces to look away, blushing hotly as he did. When he felt Constance’s small hand grip his tightly, he looked back at her. “No. No, I am not certain of that at all,” he admitted. “Nor can I be at all certain that she is not the relative of a wronged husband. However, I find both of those scenarios unlikely, for it has been over three years since I have lain with anyone other than… other than my brothers. That is a very long time to wait to take revenge.”

“You are right there,” d’Artagnan said. “So she is likely not the sister of a wronged lover or jealous husband. That…”

“Is a great deal worse,” Treville finished for him. “A slighted suitor or cuckolded husband would be one thing. What we are talking about now is something else entirely. Are you absolutely sure about this, son?”

“I know when I am being set up, Sir,” Aramis told him, meeting his eyes and holding them.

“Yes, I suppose you did learn that lesson quite well,” Treville sighed. “I take it you three have a plan already?”

“Yes, Sir,” Aramis replied. “We are going to attempt to draw her out.”

“That would explain your comment about acting as if you were arguing,” Treville said. “So you mean to make her think there is discord among you. How is that going to help?”

“Oh, Aramis, no,” Constance said, understanding what they intended to do. 

“I know of no other way to find out what it is she has planned,” Aramis said. “Believe me, Constance, I do not want to do this. The thought of having to touch her, of having to feel her hands upon me, sickens me. But until we know what it is they have planned, what it is they want, I have no choice.”

“They?” Treville asked.

“She is not doing this alone,” Aramis said. “I do not know who is helping her or how many there are, but I know she is not working alone.”

“I do not like this,” Constance said. “Why can’t you simply ignore her?”

“If I was certain that the only danger she presented was to me, then I would. But I cannot know for sure that she would not try to hurt them in my stead. I will not risk that. I will not allow them to suffer for something I have done.”

“Who says you did anything?” d’Artagnan asked.

“Why else would someone be doing this?” Aramis replied.

“I can give you an entire list of reasons,” d’Artagnan told him. “I mean for all we know, it could be Milady doing this to get back at Athos. It would be just the sort of thing she would enjoy, making him watch while she destroyed one of his brothers.”

Athos had been silently listening to the exchange, letting Aramis explain so that he could decide how much to divulge to the others. This, however, brought him up short. He had never even considered that Aramis might not be the primary target, that he might be nothing more than a means to an end for whoever was doing this. And d’Artagnan was right. This was something his former wife would positively delight in. 

“Athos, brother, you alright?” Porthos asked. They had all seen him go still when d’Artagnan had mentioned Milady. As much as he did not want to admit it, the lad was right. This entire scenario practically reeked of her and it was a wonder they had not thought of her before now.

“No,” Athos managed, his voice strangled.

“Athos,” Aramis said, turning toward him. “Athos, no. Look at me. Please, love.”

“Aramis?” Athos said, the fear in his eyes unmistakable.

“Whatever you are thinking, stop,” Aramis told him. “We do not know if she is behind this. And even if she is, it changes nothing.”

“It changes everything,” Athos countered. “It is me she is trying to get to and she will… she will hurt you to do it.”

“As I said, it changes nothing. We were going along with this charade because I was afraid that whoever was doing this might come after the two of you. If Milady is behind this, then it would seem my fears were justified.”

“She will kill you without hesitation, Aramis,” Athos said.

“No, she will not,” Aramis said calmly. “That would be far too quick and painless for her tastes. Neither of us would suffer enough if she did that. No, she will not kill me. She plans to hurt me much, much worse than that. Assuming she is the one behind this, of course.”

“What can we do?” Constance asked suddenly. She hated Milady as much as the rest of them both for what she had tried to do to her and for what she continued to put these men through. If there was any way she could help, she would.

“Tell us how we can help, brothers,” d’Artagnan seconded. He would not mind his own bit of revenge against that viper. And God help her if she did manage to hurt one of his brothers.

“I do not want either of you involved in this,” Aramis told them. “It is far too dangerous, especially if we are right about our suspicions.”

“Now wait just a minute,” Constance objected.

“I understand your desire to help,” Aramis told her. “And there is something you and d’Artagnan can do for us.”

“Name it,” d’Artagnan said.

“If you are not seen as particularly close to us, then you are less likely to have eyes on you,” Aramis said. 

“I see,” d’Artagnan smiled. “And two more pairs of eyes could be quite beneficial. Especially if they are eyes that no one will think to comment on.”

“Just so,” Aramis said.

“And me, boys?” Treville asked. He was still a bit thrown to think that Athos’ former wife might be behind this. He understood the man’s fear if it turned out to be true. The woman was vicious and deadly and had no compunction about who she had to hurt to get what she wanted. He could only imagine the ways she would make Aramis suffer if she got her hands on him.

“You would be another pair of eyes for us, Captain,” Aramis said. “Also, you would be the best way for us to communicate with each other. If we are to do this, this is the last time we can meet like this.”

“Alright,” Treville agreed. “But I expect regular reports from all of you. Even if it’s just to say you have nothing to report. Understood?”

“Yes, Sir,” Aramis nodded.


	19. Chapter 19

Part 19

They went to the market after leaving Constance’s, needing to restock Aramis’ pantry. It felt good to be out together, even if they did have to keep an eye out for Lizette as well as make sure they did not appear overly close. They had no idea who all might be working with her so had to assume that they could be under observation at any time. 

Later that night, as they stripped down to their smallclothes once more, Aramis stopped them. “You may sleep naked,” he told them. “As I told you before, I know it is your preference and it does not bother me.”

“Are you sure?” Porthos asked. He did not want to pressure Aramis into anything he was not ready for and, at the moment, he did not entirely trust the man to admit to such.

“I am,” Aramis told him. 

“Will you tell us if it becomes too much?” Athos asked, already working at the lacings of his smalls. 

“I will… try,” Aramis agreed. 

“Fair enough,” Athos replied. He knew it was not the answer Porthos wanted to hear, but it was better than he had hoped for. At least it was not an outright lie. Aramis meant what he said, he would try to tell them if it became too much. They would simply have to be mindful as well, in case he was not able to.

At their insistence, Aramis found himself in the middle. He had hesitated at first about removing his own smalls, but had not wanted to make his brothers feel as though their own nudity was somehow inappropriate. Still, it was a bit of a shock to feel Porthos’ naked body pressed up against his back quite so snuggly and he had to fight to keep himself from squirming, quite aware of the reaction that was likely to induce.

“If this is too much…” Athos began.

“I am fine,” Aramis said at once as he pulled Athos toward him. They lay facing each other and Aramis let his head be pulled down to rest against Athos’ chest. It felt incredibly intimate, even more so than the sex they had shared the other night. It also felt surprisingly good. As if, for a moment, Aramis had forgotten just how good being held by these men made him feel.

“We love you,” Porthos whispered into his ear as he kissed him on the shoulder then settled down behind him to try to sleep. 

Aramis was unsure at first what had awoken him. Then he felt the push of Porthos’ hips against him and the hard line of Porthos’ cock as it rubbed against his backside. _Well, that answers that then_. Aramis closed his eyes to try to go back to sleep, thinking Porthos would likely slip back into a deeper sleep as well. However, when the hand on his hip tightened and the man let out a low moan, Aramis realized that he might have a bit of a problem.

This was, of course, not the first time Porthos had gotten amorous in his sleep and tried to rut against the nearest body. It was, however, the first time he had done so since their… falling out. The logical, sane part of him told him to simply reach back and wake his brother. Porthos would be a bit embarrassed but he would get over it soon enough. The problem was, the logical, sane part of Aramis had never been the _loud_ part of Aramis. Which was why he was always getting himself into one spot after another. 

There was also the other part of Aramis to take into consideration. The part that wanted nothing more than to please his brothers… his lovers. This was the part that railed against him for denying them, that screamed inside of him that if he continued with this nonsense that they would eventually grow tired of it and either leave him for good or… or simply take what they wanted.

That was the part of him that urged him to offer himself to them. That was the part of him that spoke of ownership as if the very thought did not terrify him on more levels than he could comprehend. That was the part of him that was so desperately afraid of losing them that it would drive him to do anything… _anything_ … to keep that from happening, regardless of how much it might hurt him to do so.

That was the part of him that took a deep breath and carefully pressed back against Porthos as he pushed forward. The resultant moan he pulled from his brother made Aramis’ own half-hard cock jerk slightly. He felt the hand on his hip tighten reflexively then release so he pushed back again, harder this time. The growl he got in reply made him shiver and he let out a soft cry of his own as Porthos began to thrust against him harder.

_So far so good,_ he thought to himself then reached down and wrapped his hand around Athos’ hardness. He was not quite as far gone as Porthos, but he responded at once to the feel of Aramis’ hand on him, his hips jerking and a soft moan slipping past his lips.

As he continued to stroke Athos, Aramis found himself glad that Porthos was taking care of himself, as it were. He was not at all sure he could handle trying to pleasure both of them right now. Not without becoming more than a touch overwhelmed. As it was, the sound of both of their moans was making his own cock harden. That was something he had not expected. 

Rubbing his thumb over the head of Athos’ cock caused the man to jerk his hips up hard. Too hard, apparently, for his eyes flew open as he gasped. He felt Athos’ hand reach down and cover his own then the man went completely still as the situation finally registered.

“Aramis?” Athos called out softly, his voice shaky as his arousal slammed through him. “What… what are you doing?”

“Has it truly been so long, dear Athos, that you need ask such a thing?” Aramis replied teasingly.

“You know what I am asking,” Athos said, tightening his grip when Aramis made as if to stroke him again. 

“Let… let me please you,” Aramis beseeched as he massaged Athos’ cock in his hand.

“Aramis…”

“What’s going on?” Porthos asked, their voices and Aramis’ sudden stillness pulling him from his dream. Which, he realized, had not actually been a dream. Not entirely. 

“You were hard,” Aramis tried to explain. “And rubbing against me. I only wanted… wanted to give you… both of you…”

“Easy, love,” Porthos said, squeezing the hip he still held in his hand. “We got hard in our sleep and you thought you’d help us along, is that it?”

“Yes,” Aramis replied breathlessly. “Please… please, let me.”

“Aramis, we do not want to take advantage,” Athos told him, though it was getting quite difficult to argue with the man with his hand wrapped so tightly around his straining erection.

“You do not,” Aramis told him. “I… I know I cannot offer much but… this… I can offer this. Please…”

“Yeah, okay, love,” Porthos said, unable to listen to Aramis _beg_ to be allowed to touch them any longer. “You want me to keep doing what I was doing?”

“Yes, oh yes,” Aramis said, pushing back against him once more and thrilling at the moan that seemed to tear its way from Porthos’ throat.

“Then do it,” Athos said, releasing Aramis’ hand and letting him do as he wished, hoping frantically that he was not making a mistake by doing so.

Aramis leaned forward and kissed him as he began stroking him once more, his hand no longer hesitant as he worked to bring him off. The feel of Porthos behind him, rubbing his hardness against his ass as he kissed and nipped at his shoulder made Aramis moan into Athos’ mouth and stroke him even faster.

It did not take much more than that. The feel of Aramis, naked in his arms, allowing Porthos to touch him, coupled with the sight of Aramis and Athos kissing wetly was enough to push him over the edge and he ground his cock against him hard as he began to spend between their bodies. 

Aramis moaned into Athos’ mouth again when he felt Porthos begin to spend against him. He sucked Athos’ tongue into his mouth and suckled it as he stroked his cock, thumbing the head once more. A moment later, Athos was crying out and thrusting his hips as he began to spend in Aramis’ hand, his seed striping his own chest as his lover continued to stroke him.

When they were done, they all three lay there panting, trying to recover. Porthos let his hand slide across Aramis’ hip and gasped when he bumped his lover’s neglected erection. Aramis hissed as well and jerked his hips only to have Porthos pull him back against him.

“We’ve got you, love,” Porthos told him. “You want us to take care of that for you? Maybe use our hands on you like you did for us?”

“If… if you want,” Aramis said. He was starting to shake from all of the seemingly contradictory sensations running through him.

“What do you want?” Athos asked him. When Aramis only looked at him, somewhat lost, he tried a different approach. “Tell us. Tell us now.”

“Please,” Aramis begged. “Please, touch me. Oh, please, sirs…”

Porthos sucked in a breath when Aramis called them ‘sir’ but he kept his grip on lover’s hip and held him against him. He watched as Athos reached out and took Aramis’ straining erection in hand and began to stroke him just the way they both knew he liked it. He could feel Aramis try to thrust his hips, but Porthos held him still and Aramis moaned weakly at being so blatantly controlled by the two of them.

“That’s it, love,” Athos whispered. “Just lay here and take it. You take what we give you. That’s what you want, isn’t it? To take whatever it is we choose to give you.”

“Yes,” Aramis moaned, trying again to thrust into Athos’ hand but held in check once more.

“Yeah,” Porthos said, his lips right against his ear. “Look at you. So fucking beautiful. And you’re all ours, aren’t you?” He nipped Aramis on the ear, taking the lobe into his mouth and sucking it, making the man try to thrash even harder.

“Oh that’s perfect,” Athos told him. “Spend for us, love. Come on. Do it.”

With a cry, Aramis felt his entire body try to convulse as he began to spend, just as Athos had ordered. He tried to thrust his hips, tried to push his cock further into Athos’ fist, but Porthos refused to let him move, holding him in place easily and making him ride out his pleasure between them. 

By the time he was done, Aramis was sobbing between them, unable to stop. He had not even realized he had started to cry. But his brothers simply moved as close to him as possible and held him, letting him expunge the emotions inside of him the only way he seemed able to at the moment.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And once again, my dear, sweet, fucked-up Aramis has taken a turn I was not expecting (I really should be expecting these by now).
> 
> Short but rather emotionally intense.

Part 20

It felt like hours to Athos and Porthos as they held their lover and let him sob out his pain to them. Athos did not know why this of all things seemed to trigger such a reaction but he was glad for it nonetheless. Any show of emotion was better than Aramis closing himself off from them. He would rather endure Aramis raging at him than see that blank, lost look in his eyes ever again. Still holding tight to Aramis with one arm, he reached across him with the other hand to claps Porthos’ own arm. He could see the pain that Aramis’ reaction caused him and sought to relieve him as best he could. Porthos had never been one to handle his brothers’ pain well and if he felt himself the cause of it… Athos suspected, though, that this had little to do with them. More likely, it was the horrors of Aramis’ past rising up once more. Or perhaps even just the culmination of everything that had happened finally forcing its way to the surface.

Regardless of the cause, Athos held him, letting him feel his presence, his closeness, his strength and love and care. He did not try to quiet him, knowing Aramis needed to get this out. Instead, he was simply there, silent and strong and resolute. 

As Aramis sobbed in his arms, Porthos felt his heart splinter in his chest. He pressed himself against him from head to toe and held on to him. He could feel Aramis’ entire body shaking with the force of it and wanted to howl at the injustice. A soul as good and kind and pure as Aramis’ did not deserve such pain. And Porthos did not give a fuck about his past. In his eyes, Aramis’ soul was as pure as that of anyone he had ever known and always would be. He opened his mouth to try to soothe him, to ease his sobs, but Athos’ hand on his arm tightened, stopping him. His eyes widened in surprise but Porthos did as Athos bid and remained silent, allowing Aramis to cry himself out as he would while they held him.

Aramis could not, for the life of him, seem to get himself under control. He had no idea why he was acting this way, why everything suddenly felt so horribly out of his control. It had nothing to do with what he had shared with his brothers just now, though he did recognize that those acts had been the catalyst for… this. Memories, both long buried and freshly made, tumbled about inside his head causing his emotions to veer between so many opposing sentiments that it made him almost physically sick. Yet throughout it all, he felt his brothers there with him, surrounding him, strengthening him and shielding him as he fought his way through the cacophony in his mind. 

He knew they did not understand. How could they possibly? Porthos could not even understand how Aramis could find the prospect of _ownership_ desirable. Considering his history, Aramis could commiserate. Yet his brother had still tried, had still did his best to give him what he thought he wanted, no matter how ill at east it made him to do so. His wonderful, gentle Porthos had barely even paused when he had called them Sir. And Athos, his Athos, so brave, so willing to be the one to take the risk if it meant they did not have to. So willing to get it _wrong_ in the hopes that they might somehow manage to get it _right_. He owed them both so **much**.

Finally, as he concentrated on his brothers, letting the memories of the past fade back into the shadows of his mind, Aramis began to calm. As he did, he realized for the first time that, while his brothers held him, that was all they did. They did not try to quiet him or get him to stop his incessant sobbing. They simply held him and let him rid himself of all that had been building inside of him for… for months. Ever since Marsac. Ever since he had thought he had lost everything worth living for. With that thought came the realization of what lay behind this, at least partially. He truly had thought he had lost everything all those weeks ago. And while he may not have been consciously suicidal then, he knew himself well enough to know that would not have survived more than a few weeks if that had truly been the case. He might not have taken his own life but… a missed shot, a failed parry, a second’s hesitation in drawing his sword… any of those would have seem him laid out beside his fallen brothers.

He had thought something similar not so long ago as well. He recalled looking out at the water and thinking how much better off his brothers would be without him. But Athos had made it quite clear that they had no intention of letting him go so easily. The thought of his precious brothers following him, even into Death’s embrace, warmed and chilled him at once. It was that, he thought, that realization of their refusal to be parted from him regardless of the cost coupled with their acceptance of him, of every part of him, that had caused him to break down so. And it was the knowledge that they were here, now, waiting for him, that helped him to let go of his pain and return to them once more. 

“’Mis? Are you back with us?” Porthos whispered softly as he rubbed careful circles onto Aramis’ naked belly.

“I… I think so,” Aramis replied, a bit shaky still. “I am…”

“If you apologize, I shall thump you,” Athos told him, earning him a chuckle.

“Then I shall refrain,” Aramis smiled.

“Are you… are you alright?” Porthos knew it was a stupid question. His lover had just spent the better part of an hour sobbing in his arms but he still needed to ask.

“Better than I was,” Aramis replied. “That… that was a long time coming, I think.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Athos asked.

“Eventually. If for no other reason than to ease your minds. But for now, I would like to stay just like this.”

“We can do that,” Porthos told him.

Aramis snuggled down between them, pulling Porthos in tight against his back and ignoring the stickiness of their skin where their seed had started to dry. He held tight to Athos as well so he would not try to move away and sighed. “Do you two have any idea how very much I love you both?”

Both men stilled, taken off guard by the unexpected comment. It was not as if Aramis did not tell them he loved them. He did, often. This, however, sounded like something else. Something more.

“About as much as we love you, I should think,” Athos replied. “As Porthos is so fond of saying, you are our heart.”

“Oh,” Aramis gasped. “You are mine, as well. You are… are every _good_ thing within me.”

“Shhh… easy now,” Porthos quieted, not wanting Aramis to upset himself again.

“I am alright,” Aramis chuckled though he did duck his head for a moment before taking a steadying breath. “Thank you both for what you did. I know you worry about going too far with me…”

“Did you enjoy it?” Athos asked.

“Oh yes, Sir,” Aramis replied then blushed hotly when he realized what he said. “Sorry. I did not mean…”

“None of that now,” Athos told him, firmly but gently. “We will not have shame in this bed. Agreed?”

Aramis nodded, biting his lip. It was clear that Athos was at least somewhat okay with things but Porthos had yet to make himself heard and Aramis feared what his reaction might be.

“Stop that,” Porthos admonished gently as he tugged Aramis’ lip from between his teeth. “You heard Athos. You don’t want to disobey, do you?”

“No,” Aramis replied, the word barely audible even in the quiet room.

“Good,” Porthos said. “This might take me a bit to get used to so you’re going to have to be patient with me, love. Can you do that?”

“Yes,” Aramis said, just as softly, hardly daring to believe that his brother would even attempt such a thing for him. 

Porthos suddenly stilled the hand that had been rubbing lazy circles on Aramis’ belly. He leaned his head a bit closer, until his lips just brushed his lover’s ear. “Yes, what?” he whispered against it.

Aramis could not hold back a stuttered moan at Porthos’ words. He grasped onto both his lovers’ arms as desire lanced through him. He met Athos’ eyes and saw them glittering darkly at him as both men waited for his reply. “Sir,” he finally managed. “Yes, Sir.”

“Good boy,” Porthos smiled.


	21. Chapter 21

Part 21

“So how goes our boy’s seduction?” Milady asked as she eyed Lizette across the table. They both knew how dangerous it was for her to be in Paris. Especially now. If anyone should see her, recognize her, their entire plan could be for naught. Then she would be forced to settle for merely killing the pretty Musketeer her dear husband seemed so fond of. That was something she did not want to have to do, not if she could avoid it. Seducing him away from Athos, while forcing him to still see him day after day, would hurt him so very much more.

“Slowly,” Lizette admitted. “But I do have plans in place to speed things along.”

“Are they still at odds with each other?” Milady asked.

“It’s hard to tell. It seems as though they are whenever I encounter them together, but when they think no one is watching, the looks they give him…”

“Yes?”

“If I did not know better, I would think them lovers rather than brothers,” Lizette replied. “There is such… longing.”

“Really? How interesting…” Milady remarked shrewdly.

&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M

Treville was somewhat surprised when the three of them walked into the garrison courtyard. He had just finished handing out assignments for the day and dismissing the men. At Athos’ nod, he headed upstairs to his office, noting that Porthos and Aramis made themselves comfortable at their usual table while Athos alone followed him up.

“What’s going on?” Treville asked once the door was firmly closed behind them.

“We need to get out of the city for a few days,” Athos explained. “Away from Mademoiselle Lizette and everything else.”

“And I take it you do not wish anyone to know you have simply gone away,” Treville surmised.

“We are supposed to be somewhat at odds,” Athos replied. “Besides, if we are on official business then it is less likely anyone would try to… interfere, as it were.”

“I see,” Treville replied, considering. “Aramis… he is having a somewhat difficult time with this charade?”

“Yes,” Athos admitted. “Her touch… repulses him, yet he must allow it. Believe me, Captain, if we could convince him to drop this, we would. He is, however, determined to see it through.”

“He is worried for you and Porthos,” Treville reminded him. “I do not blame him there, not if Milady really is behind this.”

“I can only pray that we are wrong,” Athos said. “She will not hesitate to kill him. If she thinks her plans likely to be thwarted, she will settle for causing whatever pain and suffering she can.”

“She will have to get through the lot of us to do it,” Treville told him. “Now, how long do you think this delivery mission should take you if anyone comes looking?”

“No more than three days, I would think.”

“Very well. If you are not back in four, d’Artagnan and I will come looking,” Treville said, his words both a warning and a promise.

“Thank you, Sir,” Athos said then turned and headed out of the Captain’s office and down to where his brothers waited.

They rode for half a day before leaving the road, wanting to be well clear of the city and any outlying farms. They spent another hour after that winding their way through the woods, mindful of low-hanging branches and other hazards. Athos finally called for them to stop when he found the stream he had been looking for. It would provide fresh water to cook and bathe with as well as allow Aramis a place to fish.

“We camp here,” he said, dismounting.

Porthos and Aramis alit as well, pleased with the choice. It had a natural clearing, small but adequate for their needs. The trees would provide ample shade for them and the horses as well as plenty of fire wood. All in all, it was a perfect spot for a few days of camping. And it was secluded enough that they need not worry about being seen or heard by anyone save their own mounts.

It did not take long for them to get the horses situated and the camp set up to their liking. Aramis had even gone so far as to set a few snares in the surrounding woods so they would not be solely reliant on his fishing abilities. As the sun began to sink lower, he left his brothers to begin building the fire while he tried his luck in the stream. By the time he returned, three gutted fish impaled on a branch, their campfire was blazing nicely.

“Thank you both for this,” he said as he handed Porthos the fish to cook and sat down. He was barefoot, clad only in his shirt and breeches, having removed the rest before heading to the stream.

“It is as much for us as you,” Athos replied.

“And we all know that is a lie, brother,” Aramis said softly.

“It is not,” Athos argued. “This is not easy for us either. Even if my… my wife is not behind this, the thought of you having to allow that woman to touch you when you do not wish it… It is all I can do not to slap her hands from you.”

“Athos is right,” Porthos said. “And it’s not just because we are jealous. It’s… it’s knowing you do not want it, that it makes your skin crawl. That’s the part we cannot stand.”

“Oh,” Aramis said, surprised. “I knew you did not like it, but I assumed…”

“That we were just upset about watching some woman pawing at you?” Porthos finished for him. “We are not thrilled about it, but it is not the part that makes this so hard.”

“We know your heart lies with us,” Athos added. “We do not question your faithfulness. In all our time together, we have never questioned that.”

“Most would, you know,” Aramis said. “Most would not have simply taken my word for it that I had been faithful to you during those weeks apart. Most would assume I was lying, that even if I had not taken a lover, that I had at the very least…”

“We are not most,” Porthos spat.

“And we do not question your faithfulness,” Athos said again. “We know you did not take another to your bed because you told us as much and you would not lie to us.”

They fell silent for a time after that, each content to keep his own counsel for the time being. They all understood that there were things they needed to discuss, both concerning Aramis’ past as well as their future together. As they sat round the campfire, Porthos minding their dinner, each of them considered just what that future might hold for them. 

For Porthos, the various possible futures did not much matter so long as he had his brothers by his side. Even Aramis’ sudden, and somewhat worrisome, predilection for submission did not bother him overmuch. He knew Athos was willing to take the lead, as it were, and guide them in this. That, coupled with Aramis’ desire for it, was more than enough for him. As long as his brother did not suddenly develop a taste for masochism, they should be just fine.

Athos watched his brothers as surreptitiously as he could. He could tell that Porthos was still coming to grips with Aramis’ desires. He could relate. He was struggling a bit as well in that regard. But even as he struggled, Porthos made it abundantly clear that he had every intention of meeting this need in Aramis. It did not matter that he did not truly understand it, neither the root of it nor how Aramis could still want such a thing after all he had endured. Nor did it matter that it was… difficult for him. If it was what his brother genuinely needed, and Athos believed that for now, at least, it was, then Porthos would do whatever necessary to see that Aramis got it. Athos did not think he had ever been more proud or loved him more than in the moment he had realized as much.

As for himself, how could he do any less? There was nothing he would not do for either of his brothers. Just as there was nothing that Aramis would not do for either of them. Had he not proved just that long before Athos had even deigned to call him friend? 

Athos could not stop the shudder that ran through him at the memory of his brother’s sacrifice. That Aramis would do such a thing for him was unexpected enough. But that he would never once, in all the time they had known each other, speak of it… Athos had to wonder how much of that was due to shame. How much of that was this precious man hating himself yet again for what another had forced upon him?

Aramis watched his brothers, waiting for one of them to speak. He could tell they both had things which weighed heavily upon their minds, things that concerned him, concerned them and he wanted nothing more than to ease their burdens. He had a pretty good idea of what troubled Porthos the most. His brother had not hidden the fact that he had not understood all of his desires. Aramis could empathize. After all, he barely understood some of them himself. As for Athos, however, he could not tell what was troubling him. He thought it might have to do with Lizette and her possible connection to his former wife. Then again, he could be having the same misgivings as Porthos or it could be something else entirely. Athos could keep his feelings very well hidden when he chose to. 

“If there are things you wish to speak of, you may do so,” Aramis said to the both of them. “I promise not to fall apart on you.”

“We do not care about that,” Porthos said then stopped. “I mean, we care. Of course, we care. But fear of upsetting you is not what holds our tongues. At least, not mine.”

“Nor mine,” Athos agreed.

“Then what does?” Aramis asked. “I know you both have things you wish to speak of. I can see it on your faces. We are alone here and safe. Would not this be the time to get such things out in the open?”

“It would,” Athos replied. “We hesitate, because the talk will be hard and the day has been long. We came here because we needed to get away. All of us, not just you. Forgive us, brother, if we need to… gather our strength before we tackle anything too weighty.”

“I’m sorry,” Aramis said, chagrinned. “I did not mean to push. I only thought… Well, it does not matter.”

“What you think always matters,” Porthos told him. “Now come on, let’s eat. Then maybe we can talk a bit. I do have some questions about some things I don’t quite understand. But only if you feel up to it. You too, Athos.”

Athos nodded and they spent the next little while eating in companionable silence. Once the meal was done, they made themselves comfortable and passed a large wineskin between them. “So, you feel up to talking a bit?” Porthos asked Aramis. When he nodded he looked over at Athos, waiting for his reply as well. 

“May I ask on what subject?” Athos queried, knowing what Porthos wanted to talk about but being difficult anyway. When it made Aramis smile, he knew it was worth it.

“On what Aramis wants or thinks he wants,” Porthos said. “I got no real problem with it, don’t… don’t think that. I just… I can’t see as how you would want… not after…”

“You do not understand how I could bring myself to submit to another man, any man, regardless of whom, after Tristan,” Aramis said. “Does that about cover it?”

“Yeah,” Porthos said, feeling his face heat. 

“Were it anyone save the two of you, I could not,” Aramis said. “I would not even wish to consider it. The very idea would be… abhorrent.”

“But it is not with us?” Athos asked, needing to hear Aramis say the words.

“No, my love, it is not,” Aramis assured him. 

“Is it that you seek to prove to yourself that you are strong enough to do this?” Athos asked. He, too, found himself wondering about Aramis’ motivations. He did truly believe his lover needed this from them on some level, but he would like to understand why if he could.

“I… I do not think so,” Aramis shrugged. “Perhaps. Somewhat. But it is not my reason for wanting this.”

“Do you know why you want this?” Porthos asked.

“Not entirely,” Aramis chuckled. He thought for a moment on how to explain. He thought back on those times before, when he had been with Tristan, before everything had gone to hell. He remembered the feeling of surrendering, of giving himself fully to someone he trusted. Or thought he could trust. He had been wrong back then, too young and stupid to realize he was little more than the man’s whore.

“Easy, now. Breathe, love,” Porthos said as he rubbed circles into Aramis’ back.

“Aramis, are you with us?” Athos asked from the opposite side of him, his hand clasping his arm tightly. 

“My apologies, brothers,” Aramis said, shaking his head as it to banish the memories from his mind.

“None of that,” Athos soothed. “But can you tell us what happened just now?”

“I fear I got a bit lost in my head,” Aramis explained. “I… I started thinking about… about all the reasons why I wanted something like this… about why I enjoyed it… before…”

“And then you started thinking about _him_ again,” Porthos growled. “About what he did to you.”

“Porthos,” Athos warned. 

“If I ever find that bastard, so help me God, I will tear him apart with my bare hands,” Porthos snarled, ignoring Athos’ warning.

“Porthos,” Aramis gasped, grabbing onto his brother and shaking him. “You will do no such thing. You are a better man than that and…”

“And?” Athos prompted, unsure if he wanted to hear the rest of that sentence but positive that Aramis needed to say it.

“And it does not matter anymore,” Aramis said.

“You will **always** matter, brother,” Porthos told him. “Always. But I did not mean to get so upset.”

Aramis stared at Porthos like he did not know what to make of him. He did not expect such a vehement response from him. Not still. And Tristan was an old man, beneath Porthos’ notice. His brother should not stoop to dirtying his hands on the likes of him. Not for Aramis.

“So this is something you used to enjoy,” Athos said, trying to get the conversation back on track. 

“Yes,” Aramis said, turning his attention to Athos. “Before things… went bad, I… I found a great deal of peace in such acts. Perhaps that is why Tristan thought I would make such a good whore. I always enjoyed it when he would make use of me.”

“If you do not wish Porthos to start killing every sixty year old man named Tristan he comes across, you will never offer up such an excuse for that monster again,” Athos told him sternly. “You are in no way at fault for his actions and we will not hear otherwise. Am I clear?”

“Yes, Athos,” Aramis replied at once, the ‘Sir’ at the tip of his tongue.

“Good,” Athos said, much gentler. “You are not to blame for finding pleasure in something. If it had not been that act, it would have been another.”

“So you enjoyed it… before… and you want that again?” Porthos asked. 

“That is part of it,” Aramis replied. “The other part is that I would like, very much, to give myself to the two of you. I trust you both and I have done an exceedingly poor job of showing you that of late. I wish to… to rectify that.”

“You have done no such thing,” Porthos told him. “We… we caused you to stop trusting us. That was our doing… our fault. Not yours! You don’t have to prove anything, least of all to us.”

“Porthos is, once again, quite right,” Athos said. “We are the ones who failed you.”

“And have you forgotten my own behavior?” Aramis argued, looking away from his brothers as he did. “I took your desire to earn my trust and I abused it. I abused _you_.”

“You did not,” Athos told him. “We have already had this argument, Aramis. You did not abuse me. You did not force me. You did not make Porthos force me. I wanted what we did. I **enjoyed** it. Why will you not believe me?”

“I… I am trying to,” Aramis said softly. “But… every time I think of it… every time I remember…”

“All you remember is what happened to you,” Athos said. “I know. I understand, brother. I do. But they are not the same. I am not a boy being preyed upon by a monster. I am a man grown and more than capable of stopping you if I had not wanted what was happening.”

“Would you have, though?” Aramis asked. “Would you have stopped me if I had pushed you too far?”

“Yes,” Athos said steadfastly. “I gave you my word I would not allow you to hurt me. I would not have broken that. I would have stopped you, Aramis. I swear to you, I would have.”

Aramis hesitated for a moment then he jerked Athos into his arms and held him. “Thank you,” he whispered. “Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.”

“Shhh. It’s alright, love,” Athos told him as he held him back. “I am here and I love you and I will never leave. I trust you. You did not betray me. You did not hurt me. I swear to you, you did not.”

When Aramis finally let Athos go and sat back, his eyes were wet and he scrubbed at them roughly. He felt a weight leave him as he finally accepted his brother’s words that he had not forced him, had not hurt him like he had been hurt. It was such a relief that he felt light-headed and leaned back onto his elbows.

“Feel better, love?” Porthos asked as he moved closer to Aramis so that their sides were touching.

“Yes,” Aramis nodded and swallowed. 

“No more worries about proving you trust us then?” Porthos asked.

This time Aramis shook his head. “I know it is not necessary,” Aramis said. “But I do still want to show you both how very much I trust you. You are my life. I would not be here without you. I would show you, both of you, my utter trust and devotion if you will but allow me to.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short part again, but I wanted to move the conversation along a bit...
> 
> Someday I will get past my block on Sanguinem. :(

Part 22

“So explain to me how this would work,” Porthos said. “I know you… you liked calling us ‘Sir’. I know you liked us telling you what to do. You seemed to like it when I held you down and let Athos do as he pleased with you. Is that all there is to it?”

“Not… not entirely,” Aramis said, trying hard not to pant. He knew Porthos had no idea how erotic his words were, how the picture he had just painted in Aramis’ mind was so… affecting. 

“Tell us then,” Porthos said, a bit more firmly this time. He had not missed the way Aramis breathing had increased and his skin had flushed. 

“It is… it is all of that,” Aramis said, trying to think past the fog of desire that was suddenly trying to swamp him. “It is giving myself to you. It is not having any… any choices. I would be yours, utterly. You would do with me as you wished. I would be free to simply… be.”

Athos looked at Porthos and saw the worry in his eyes. He felt the same. What Aramis was asking of them was not something to be undertaken lightly. “What you ask of us,” Athos began slowly, “we can give you this here… now. But once we return home…”

“I know,” Aramis said, smiling softly at them both. “It is not practical. And it is not fair of me to place such a burden on the two of you. The… ownership of another… it is not an easy thing to bear. I know it is but a fantasy.”

“That is not to say we cannot ever… indulge,” Athos told him. “There is nothing we would not give you, Aramis. But it would have to be just that… something we indulged in for a time before returning to the reality of our lives. I know it is not what you truly want, but is that something you can settle for, brother?”

“Oh, Athos,” Aramis said. “That you would even try to give me this is more than I have any right to ask. Of either of you. Yes. Yes, it is more than enough. And if you find that the reality of this is not something you can stomach then we shall stop at once.”

“We’ll give it a try,” Porthos told him. “Now, I got one last question before we start. We… we weren’t exactly back to being physical with each other yet. So how far can we go while we’re here?”

Aramis looked back and forth between them for a moment then nodded to himself. “I am yours,” he told them calmly. “I belong to you wholly and without reservation. There is… is no part of me that I would deny you.”

“Aramis…” Athos gasped. While his lover’s words made his cock ache in his breeches, they were worrisome as well. The last thing Athos wanted was to see all of the gains they had made lost because they had moved too quickly.

“No, Athos,” Aramis shook his head. “I am sure, I promise I am. I… I would not mislead you, not about this. My heart never stopped being yours. I think it is long past time that my body rejoined it.”

“Fine,” Porthos said. “But you promise us now that you will tell us if it becomes too much.”

“If that is what it takes to ease your minds, then so be it,” Aramis said. “I promise I will tell you if something you ask of me is more than I am ready for.”

“Thank you,” Athos said. “As much as you worried for hurting us before, we worry just as much for you. To know that you will stop us, to be able to _trust_ that you will… You understand?”

“I will not let you harm me,” Aramis assured them. “I know to do so would cause you both pain and that is something I will not do.” 

“And if you think we did not pick up on exactly how you said that, brother, you are deluding yourself,” Porthos told him, his voice somewhat more stern than he intended.

Aramis had the good graces to duck his head at his lover’s admonition. He had chosen his words very carefully. He understood quite well the difference between ‘hurt’ and ‘harm’. He had a feeling his brothers did, too, and were somewhat less than pleased by that knowledge.

“I will not hurt you, Aramis,” Porthos told him outright. “I can do what you ask but I cannot hurt you. Please, brother, do not ask that of me.”

Aramis sucked in a breath and looked up at his lover. He could see the blatant fear on Porthos face and cringed. “I am sorry,” he said quickly. “I will never ask such a thing of you. I know you could never bring yourself to cause me intentional pain. Even causing me discomfort is difficult for you. I will not ask this thing of you, Porthos.”

“I don’t mind you calling me ‘Sir’ if that’s what you want,” Porthos told him, relieved that Aramis understood and would not try to force the issue.

“Does that mean you _will_ or _will not_ be asking it of me?” Athos asked him.

“I will not,” Aramis told him. “I know that you would do it if I asked it of you. But I also know that it would bring you no pleasure to do so. In fact, it would probably hurt you only slightly less than it would Porthos.”

“Is it the pain you find enjoyable?” Athos asked, curious despite himself.

“No,” Aramis said, unable to suppress a shudder at the thought.

“Then why do it?” Porthos asked, bewildered now. 

“It is not the pain,” Aramis repeated. “Rather it is the… the discipline… the chastisement.”

“The penance,” Athos supplied.

“Yes,” Aramis replied, blushing darkly at the admission.

“So, if you were to be punished in some other way, would that be as effective?” Athos asked.

“I… I do… do not know,” Aramis stammered. “I have never… No one has ever… I have only been…”

“Peace, love,” Porthos soothed. “We only seek to understand. You know we will never judge you. Not for this or anything else.”

“We accept you as you are,” Athos added. “As you have only ever done for us.”

“It is not the same,” Aramis said, still quite embarrassed. 

“How does it differ?” Porthos asked. “How is accepting this part of you any different than accepting the fact that I used to be a thief? Or that I grew up an illiterate gutter rat that only learned to read at all because you’re one of the most stubborn men I’ve ever bloody known?”

“But none of that was your doing,” Aramis said, outraged at Porthos’ words. “And you have fought long and hard to get where you are. You have earned your place a dozen times over. No one has the right to try to judge you for doing what you had to in order to survive.”

“Exactly,” Athos said, his voice cutting through the night. “No one has the right to judge you for doing what you had to do in order to survive. Not me. Not Porthos. Not your priest. Not even you, love. No one.”

“I… But… No… It is not the same,” Aramis argued, but his words came out weak, the fight having gone out of him. 

“It is exactly the same,” Athos told him. “We have all done things to survive. Things we are… less than proud of. Do you not think that I feel shame for the actions of my past? I assure you, brother, I do. But no matter what I have done, the one thing I do not fear is the censure of my brothers.”

“I… I hear you, Athos. I do,” Aramis said. “And I want to believe you. But perhaps… be patient with me? I have carried this inside of me for a very long time. And always, always the shame of it was like a stone around my neck. It will take time for me to realize that weight is no longer there.”

“We have been patient with you thus far, have we not?” Porthos said. “We are not about to start rushing you now. We’ll just keep telling you until you can believe us.”

“You are far too good to me,” Aramis said.

“Then perhaps it is time for you to repay us,” Athos said, his voice suddenly taking on a deeper timber that he normally reserved for their more _private_ moments.


	23. Chapter 23

“Then perhaps it is time for you to repay us,” Athos said, his voice suddenly taking on a deeper timber that he normally reserved for their more _private_ moments.

“Yes, Sir,” Aramis gasped, the words nearly shocked out of him. “How… How…”

“Easy now, pet,” Porthos said, trying to calm him at least a little. He could see how quickly Aramis was becoming overwhelmed and knew they needed to proceed with care.

“Yes, Sir,” Aramis replied, his eyes cutting to Porthos. His words came out a bit more steady as he took his cue from the other man.

“Good boy,” Porthos told him, remembering how well Aramis had reacted to those words the last time he had used them. He was pleased to see a similar, if not stronger, reaction this time as well as Aramis flushed even as he took heart from the praise.

Taking a deep breath, Aramis looked at Porthos and nodded then turned his gaze back to Athos. “And how would you have me repay you both for all of the care you have shown me?” he asked. “How would you have me… have me serve you?”

“God, Aramis,” Athos growled, unable to contain himself. “You make me want to fuck you into the dirt.”

“If that is your wish, Sir,” Aramis replied as demurely as he could, though he could not hide the slight tremor that ran though him at the thought. He was not altogether sure if it was from desire or trepidation or some combination of the two.

“Athos,” Porthos cautioned softly. He knew Aramis had promised to stop them if they went too far but he was not a complete naïf at these things. He understood that sometimes the one submitting was not able to realize that a line was being crossed until well afterwards. Porthos did _not_ want that to happen.

“Peace, brother,” Athos told him. “I said he made me want to, not that I would. At least not this time. I am aware that he has not been taken in months. I will not hurt him, Porthos. And you will not allow me to, even if Aramis and I should somehow forget ourselves.”

“Thank you, brother,” Porthos replied, relieved.

“Never thank me for that,” Athos told him, shifting his full attention to Porthos for a moment. “I am as aware as you to how close we came to losing him forever. I would no more hurt him in this than I would you.”

“I know that. I do know that, Athos. But I know how easy it is for things to get out of hand when passions run hot. And this… his submission… has brought out a side of you I have seen before. I do not mean to seem…”

“You are still adjusting,” Athos cut him off. “To all of this, not just to Aramis’ part but to yours and mine as well. I understand. Question me all you like, brother. Pull back on the reins when you feel you need to and know that I will do the same for you if it should ever be necessary.”

“If this is too much…” Aramis said quietly, trailing off. He knew what he was asking was a burden. Perhaps it was too much of one. These men had already given him so much. What right did he have to ask for even more from them?

“I do not believe your input was requested,” Athos told him. “But to answer you, it is not too much.”

“Yes, Sir,” Aramis said, swallowing hard at Athos’ rebuke. It made him flush in shame but it did what it was meant to, obliterating his doubt and putting him quite firmly back on his metaphorical knees.

“As for how you will _begin_ repaying us,” Athos began, eying him up and down and smiling sharply when it made Aramis’ flush darken. “I want you to strip, then crawl on your hands and knees to our dear brother and pleasure him with your mouth until he spends down your throat.”

“While you watch?” Aramis panted, his eyes unable to hide his desire at he stared at Athos.

“While I fuck you with my fingers,” Athos countered. 

“Is… is that all you plan to fuck me with?” Aramis asked. His cock throbbed in his breeches and he had to clench his hands to keep from touching himself. He had not been given permission for that.

“Tonight,” Athos confirmed. “Besides, I want Porthos to have that privilege first. You will get no more than my fingers until he has had you.”

“May I ask why?” Aramis questioned. He was shaking now, desire and emotions both slamming through him and tearing his equilibrium to shreds.

“Because I love you both more than life,” Athos replied. “And I spent weeks watching him die a little more inside every day you were not by our side. He is better now, of course, but he will not be completely whole again until you are reunited. Neither of us will and I will always look to my brother’s wellbeing first.”

“Oh,” Aramis said, taken completely off guard by Athos’ answer. “I did not know. You… you should have told me. I…”

“You would have what, love?” Porthos asked gently. “Given yourself before you were ready? Made yourself endure our touches when you did not truly wish to? I would rather take a sword to the gut than have you ever do that.”

“It does not matter now,” Athos said firmly. “Before we leave here, you and Porthos will be as you were again.”

“And us?” Aramis asked. 

“We shall see,” Athos replied. “If not here, then back at home. I can wait until you are ready. But what I cannot do is watch my brother continue to.”

“I am yours, Sir,” Aramis said. “I belong to both of you. Be it here, with me calling you ‘Sir’ or elsewhere, that will not change.”

“Then I believe you have been given your orders,” Athos told him. “I suggest you do not keep our brother waiting.”

Aramis hesitated for a beat then rose to his feet somewhat shakily. He was glad he was already down to just his shirt and breeches. He had a feeling if he had to remove his boots he would probably fall flat on his face. He thought about making a show of it, of trying to be alluring for his brothers, but decided against it. For one, Athos had not told him to. For the most part, though, it was his own nervousness that stopped him. He did not think he could pull off being sensuous right now with a musket to his head.

Once he was naked, his clothes in a pile beside him, he dropped to the ground onto his hands and knees and began to crawl toward Porthos. He did so slowly, able at least to make this enticing for his watching brothers. He could feel their eyes on him even as he kept his on the ground, his submission thrumming through him like lightning after a storm. 

When he reached Porthos, he continued to crawl, moving between his lover’s spread legs. When he was close enough to lean up and kiss him, he sat back on his heels and began working on his breeches, slowly undoing them. Pushing the leather aside, he then went to work on the lacings of Porthos’ smalls, carefully undoing them as well and spreading the linen open.

Aramis registered the sound of Porthos’ moaning as he pulled his hardening cock from his opened breeches. He ran his hand up and down the hard length, enjoying the feel of it in his hand again after so long. He closed his eyes for a moment, savoring the feel, then leant down onto his knees and elbow so that he could get his mouth on it. Holding him steady, Aramis placed a soft kiss to the head, then opened his mouth and took Porthos inside. He could not hold back his own moan as his lover’s taste exploded across his tongue. 

There was a reason this act, out of all of them, was his favorite. It, alone, allowed him to immerse all of his senses in his lover. Porthos was all he could see, touch, taste, hear and smell. It was as if he was a part of him, as if Aramis as a separate being had ceased to exist as his lover encompassed him, taking him in and making them one.

“Oh that is perfect,” Athos told him as he moved around until he was beside Aramis. He did not touch him yet, wanting him to focus on Porthos for a bit first. He could see how much having Aramis’ hands and mouth on him again was affecting him and Athos wanted to let him simply enjoy that first.

Aramis moaned again at Athos’ praise. The knowledge that he was pleasing them, that he was bringing them pleasure sent a thrill through his own body. He wanted to reach between his legs with his free hand and grip his own leaking erection but he did not. He knew without Athos telling him that his pleasure would be at their hands only this night. He had told them that he was theirs. It was time to put paid to those words.

Porthos stared at Aramis’ dark head bobbing up and down in his lap and had to ball his hands into fists to keep from grabbing hold of it. He alternated between wanting to hold it still so he could fuck up into it and wanting to shove it down on his cock and see how far into his throat Aramis could still take him. It had been so long since he had felt his lover’s touch, to do so now was almost overwhelming. 

“Do you need him to pull back?” Athos asked quietly. He could see how much Porthos was struggling. He did not want his brother to spend too quickly but he did not want to cause him undue distress either. “Or do you think that sinful mouth of his could rouse you more than once?”

“Brother, I doubt I will even soften the first time I spend,” Porthos told him, trying not to pant as Aramis worked him even deeper into his mouth.

“Then do it,” Athos told him. “Stop trying to hold back. Let him taste you again.”

With a shout, Porthos slid his hands into Aramis’ hair and pulled his head down onto his cock. He thrust up at the same time, driving himself in deep and began to spend down his lover’s throat. He could feel Aramis trying to swallow around him and the feel of his throat working the head of his cock tore another shout from him even as it made his cock pulse.

Aramis continued to swallow around Porthos’ cock as he spent down his throat. He had tensed for a moment when Porthos had sunk his hands in his hair and shoved him down on his cock. Then he had remembered that he was with is brothers and had relaxed around the sudden intrusion, letting muscle memory take over. He could feel the pulses of his lover’s cock tapering off and knew he would be pulling out soon, though his cock remained as hard as before.

Finally spent, Porthos began to slowly pull himself from Aramis’ mouth. Just as he had told Athos, he was still hard as stone. He knew Athos meant for him to continue taking Aramis’ mouth. He had no problem with that if Aramis did not. He only pulled out to allow the man to breathe for a few moments and to make sure he was alright with continuing. It would, after all, take considerably longer this second time around.

“Are you alright?” Athos asked once Porthos had pulled himself free.

“Yes, Sir,” Aramis replied, his voice somewhat raspy. It had been awhile since he had taken a cock in such a manner and Porthos was not small.

“Good boy,” Athos replied. “Are you ready to continue?”

“Con-continue, Sir?” Aramis stammered. “I… I thought…”

“Our brother is not yet satisfied,” Athos told him. “See how hard he still is.”

Aramis swallowed and took in the state of Porthos’ erection. He looked up at his brother’s face then and saw the lust that still lingered there. He also saw his love and no small amount of concern. “Is he to make use of my mouth again?” he asked, though he already knew the answer.

“Yes,” Athos told him. “Unless you say you are too sore to do so.”

“No, Sir,” Aramis said. “I can continue.”

“Good boy,” Athos said again.

Aramis blushed again at the praise, ducking his head. “And you will be?” he asked, suddenly needing the reassurance of where Athos would be while he was pleasuring Porthos.

“Keeping myself busy,” Athos replied. He let his hand trail down Aramis’ naked backside, making his meaning quite clear and causing Aramis to shudder. “Do you object?”

“N-n-no, Sir,” Aramis managed. “I am yours.”

“Then whenever you are ready,” Athos said and gestured toward Porthos.

Aramis wasted no time, bending his head back down and taking Porthos back into his mouth. He was gentle at first, unsure how sensitive his brother might still be. When Porthos gave no indication of discomfort, Aramis took him in further and began to suck and lave his cock eagerly. He took him in deeply, but was careful not to take him in all the way. Porthos had been a bit rough on his throat at the end and Aramis wanted to give it a chance to recover a bit in case his brother lost control again. 

Athos watched Aramis set to work on Porthos’ cock and squeezed his own through his breeches. Hard. To see them like this lifted a weight from Athos’ heart. He had meant what he said to Aramis. Neither of them would be truly whole again until they managed to reunite fully. While he was content to wait for that for himself, he was not so content to wait where his brother was concerned. And for Porthos, that wait would soon be over. Athos would see to it.

Moving around behind Aramis more fully, he let his hands come to rest on his backside, letting Aramis know he was there. He pulled one of the small, stoppered pots of oil they had brought with them from his pocket and set it aside on the ground. Spreading Aramis’ cheeks, he took a moment to simply revel in the fact that he was, indeed, being allowed to do this once more. There were times, during those dark weeks, when he had thought he would never get to do anything like this ever again with this man. 

“Mind your teeth,” Athos warned then he leaned down and licked a stripe from Aramis’ bollocks all the way up to his hole. The sound that erupted from Aramis, even muffled by Porthos’ cock was extremely gratifying and Athos set about seeing if he could make him repeat it.

Aramis had a moment to consider Athos’ warning then he was keening and his entire body wanted to seize as Athos licked a hot, wet stripe all along him that ended at his hole. He should have known that demon of a man would do something like this. Athos liked nothing better than to drive his lover insane in bed until he was writhing and begging incoherently. Aramis felt like he was nearly at that point from a single touch of Athos’ tongue _there_. He had no idea how he was supposed to withstand such an assault and still manage to pleasure their brother.

“My God, Athos,” Porthos chuckled as Aramis all but screamed on his cock. He could feel Aramis shaking already and knew he was not going to be able to withstand much of that without falling apart.

“Yes, Porthos?” Athos drawled, looking up from Aramis’ ass for a moment.

“Let’s not give him a heart attack, brother,” Porthos told him, grinning. 

“I will not,” Athos assured him. “But I wish to taste him. He is tasting you and I wish to taste him. You will not refuse me, will you, Aramis?”

Aramis pulled himself from Porthos’ cock reluctantly. He looked back over his shoulder at Athos and shook his head. He was still shaking from the intensity of the feelings coursing through him but he would not deny his brother. “No, Sir. I will not refuse you,” Aramis replied. “There is no part of me that is not yours to do with as you please.”

“Tell me if the sensation becomes too much,” Athos told him. “I know it has been some time since you have felt anything more than a hand upon you. I truly do not wish to overwhelm you.”

“I do not mind being overwhelmed if it is by the two of you,” Aramis told him. He turned back toward Porthos and settled back onto his elbows, taking him into his mouth once more. He braced himself when he felt Athos spread him again. This time he was expecting the touch but he still moaned loudly around Porthos’ cock, unable to contain himself. The result of that was Porthos thrusting rather deeply into Aramis’ mouth making him moan yet again.

Satisfied that his lovers could handle it, Athos set to work on turning Aramis into an incoherent mess using nothing but his fingers and tongue. He started with long licks that went from Aramis’ bollocks all the way up to his hole. He stopped there and circled his tongue around the hole, not dipping in, just teasing over it again and again before returning to his bollocks and starting again. 

When Aramis actually started to push back against him, Athos tightened his grip on his cheeks and started tonguing his hole in earnest. He licked at it insistently, pressing his tongue against it hard. Finally, he allowed himself to breech it, letting the very tip of his tongue slide into Aramis’ body. The moan that he wrung from Aramis could not be muffled even by Porthos’ substantial cock and Athos shoved his tongue in even deeper, driven on by both the taste and feel of his lover and the sounds of his obvious pleasure.

Knowing Aramis would not be able to last much longer and wanting to at least start getting him ready for Porthos, Athos reluctantly pulled back. He promised himself he would have this again, with both of his lovers, just as soon as was feasibly possible. Keeping that in mind, he picked up the pot and quickly poured some of the oil onto two of his fingers and pressed one against Aramis’ spit slick hole.

Aramis whimpered when he felt Athos’ slick finger at his hole. He wanted to shove back and impale himself on that long, slim finger but Athos’ grip on his hip held him in place. He knew he should be concentrating more on Porthos, on making this good for his brother, but it was impossible to with Athos touching him as he was.

“Athos… whatever you’re doing to him…” Porthos groaned as Aramis sucked him clumsily. It was the most inexpert his lover had _ever_ been at this and Porthos was surprised by how arousing he found it. The thought that they were driving Aramis so out of his mind with pleasure that he could not concentrate on what he was doing was a heady one and it made Porthos’ bollocks ache even harder.

“Fuck his mouth,” Athos told him. “He’s not going to last much longer. Not when I start fucking him with my finger.”

“Fuck!” Porthos swore, thrusting hard into Aramis’ mouth without meaning to.

“Exactly,” Athos grinned. “If he is to take you before we leave this place then I need to start stretching him. I mean to do so now.” With that, Athos circled Aramis’ hole again then sank his finger in to the first knuckle. He felt Aramis tense and stilled his finger, not breeching him any further.

“Easy, love,” Porthos soothed as he ran his hands up and down Aramis’ back. He had felt Aramis tense when Athos had breached him as well. He knew it was simply that his body was unused to such, not that it was unwelcome. 

“If you wish me to stop…” Athos offered, but Aramis shook his head as vehemently as he could without dislodging Porthos’ cock so Athos kept his finger in place and stroked Aramis’ hip until he felt his begin to relax.

Aramis focused his concentration on Porthos, on the feel and taste and scent of him. As he did, he felt his body start to relax and nodded to Athos. Having regained a bit of his composure, he was able to once more pay attention to what he was doing and add a small amount of finesse to his ministrations. 

Pouring a bit more oil down Aramis’ cleft, Athos sank his finger in the rest of the way. He was relieved when Aramis did not tense up again and simply held his finger in place for a moment, letting him grow accustomed to the sensation. He nodded at Porthos then began to gently thrust his finger in and out.

At Athos’ nod, Porthos took Aramis’ head in his hands again and held it in place. He began to fuck his mouth at the same time that Athos began to fuck him with his finger. He could tell they were not using the same rhythm, he was going much faster than Athos, but whatever they were doing it was clearly driving Aramis mad if his moans and whimpers and thrashing were anything to go by.

As Aramis began to respond to Athos’ ministrations and his body began to relax, Athos picked up the pace, thrusting his finger in harder and faster. He never used a truly hard and fast pace, treating his brother as if he truly were a virgin to this act. Taking up the oil one last time, Athos pulled his finger free and poured more oil over them. This time he sank two inside of Aramis, pulling a long, high keen from his lover even as Porthos fucked his mouth deeply.

“I’m close,” Porthos told him, speeding up his thrusts.

“Spend when you are ready,” Athos told him. “Do not wait for us. I will make him spend shortly after you do.”

“Alright,” Porthos said. He threw his head back then and began to thrust in deeper, letting his cock push against the back of Aramis’ throat. He did not try to breech it this time, not wanting to hurt him. He was not sure how sore he might be and was not sure Aramis could actually tell him right now. 

It only took another thrust or two and then Porthos was gripping Aramis by the hair and pulling out. He aimed his cock at his brother’s face and stroked himself once then he was spending, his seed striping Aramis’ face making all three of them groan.

Athos felt his cock throb in his breeches as he watched Porthos pull his cock from Aramis’ mouth and spend all over their lover’s face. He had not expected that and it made lust coil in his belly hot and tight. Shoving it down hard, he concentrated on the man on his knees shaking before him. His two fingers were buried inside Aramis to the hilt and Athos fucked them in and out, enjoying the sounds they wrung from his lover.

“Make him spend,” Porthos told him, seeing how badly Aramis was starting to shake and knowing their encounter needed to end sooner rather than later.

Athos did not argue. He began to move his fingers in and out quicker, crooking them so that they grazed that place inside Aramis that made him shout every time. He could feel his brother clenching hard around them and let go of his hip to reach around him and grasp Aramis’ straining erection. Two sharp pulls was all it took and Aramis was spending all over Athos’ hand and the ground, his body torn between thrusting forward into Athos’ hand and back onto his fingers as he shook even harder.

“Easy, love,” Porthos cooed. He took a rag and began wiping his spend from Aramis’ face. He cleaned him as best he could with what was near to hand, not wanting to move away from him at the moment. 

“Can you hold him?” Athos asked. He wanted to pull his fingers free but he was afraid of letting go of Aramis, worried he might collapse if he did so.

“Yeah,” Porthos said as he moved closer and raised Aramis up onto his knees properly so he could hold onto him. “I got him. You can let go.”

Athos let his arm drop from around his waist then carefully slid his fingers from his body. He felt Aramis wince and frowned. He had not thought he had hurt him. He would need to check to make sure, though. “I will be right back. I just need to clean up,” Athos said. 

“Bring some water back so I can clean him up a little better,” Porthos said as he continued to hold Aramis.

Athos nodded and grabbed the bucket before heading quickly toward the stream. He filled it and gave himself a quick wash, letting the chilly water bleed away the last of his arousal, then hurried back to their camp. He wanted to get Aramis cleaned up and make sure he was alright. Then he thought they could all stand to get some rest.

“Shhh, easy now,” Porthos soothed. “See, there’s Athos. I told you he’d be right back.”

“What’s wrong?” Athos asked as he set the bucket of water down next to Porthos. It was clear that Aramis was agitated and that it had to do with him from what he had overheard.

“He couldn’t find you,” Porthos replied. “He was looking for you and couldn’t see you. I told him you just went to get some water but…”

“I am so sorry, love,” Athos told him and leaned forward to kiss Aramis deeply. “I did not mean to distress you by going off. I only wanted to get some water so that we might bathe you.”

“Sorry, Sir,” Aramis said, ashamed now of his behavior.

“None of that,” Athos told him. “You have nothing to be sorry about. I know what we shared was intense for you. It was for us as well, but for you especially. I should not have left you as I did. The mistake was mine and I am sorry.”

“Thank you, Sir,” Aramis said. He lay there docilely as they bathed him, letting them clean the sweat and spend from his body. He did not tell them that he would not have minded staying covered in their spend. He was not sure how they would take such an admission so held his tongue. 

Once they were all cleaned up they bedded down for the night, Aramis comfortably ensconced between them. “Are you alright?” Athos asked once they were settled.

“Sir?” Aramis asked, unsure what it was Athos was asking.

“I know that was rather intense for you,” Athos said. “I want to make sure that it was not… too much.”

“No, Sir,” Aramis told him. “It was not too much.”

“I didn’t hurt your throat, did I?” Porthos asked, voicing his own worry.

“No, Sir,” Aramis said, smiling fondly. “While my throat is slightly sore, there is no damage nor is there any true pain. Only a general soreness. Thank you for your restraint the second time. It would have been somewhat painful if you had taken me the same way again.”

“Would you have stopped me?” Porthos asked, almost afraid of the answer. He realized it was probably not a fair question to ask, at least right now.

“Most likely,” Aramis said after a moment. “It would have depended on how hard you took me, on how great the pain was. If it was only mild, I may not have said anything. If it had been significant, though, I would have honored my word to you.”

“Thank you, love,” Porthos said. “It’s not that I do not believe you.”

“I know,” Aramis told him. “You fear I may be somewhat… compromised when we are together in such a way and may be unable to actually say no.”

“In all fairness, you did tell us it would be… difficult… for you to tell us no,” Athos reminded him.

“I… did… yes,” Aramis replied. “And it would be… will be. It is hard to explain this, but I gave my word to you when agreeing to submit to you. That is something I would not break. I would actually find saying no to you outside of such a… scenario… more difficult.”

“I… I may need to think about that some,” Athos admitted. “I do have one last question for you, though.”

“Of course, Sir,” Aramis replied, purposely using the title to let his lovers know that he still considered himself as submitting to them.

“You winced when I removed my fingers from inside you,” Athos said. “I did so as carefully as I could. I did not think I had hurt you. Was this not the case?”

“No, Sir, no,” Aramis said at once. “It was not pain that made me wince. It was rather the emptiness, that you were leaving me. I did not wish you to go.”

“And then I made it even worse by leaving to get the water,” Athos said, berating himself. “I am so sorry, love. Had I known, I would never have left your side.”

“We will know for next time,” Porthos said. “It is not a mistake we will make again.”

“Agreed,” Athos said. “Now, let us try and get some rest. I have plans for you tomorrow after all.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for taking so long to update this. Season 3 really blocked me on this one.

Part 24

They spent the next morning relaxing. It was nice to be able to simply enjoy the peace and solitude of the forest without worrying about duty or enemies for once. Aramis was still astonishingly submissive, eagerly seeing to their needs to the point that was starting to make Porthos edgy. 

Athos could tell the other man was growing worried and knew there had to be something driving their brother’s behavior. He had not acted like this before and while Athos knew that his submission was not entirely sexual in nature, he understood that the majority of his was. Which meant there was definitely something fueling this.

“Aramis, come here,” Athos called when he saw him returning to their camp with wood for their fire for the coming night. He was dressed in nothing more than his breeches and boots, giving his brothers a veritable feast to gave upon even as it reinforced his “lesser” status among them.

“Yes, Sir?” Aramis replied as he did as Athos bid, dropping neatly to his knees beside him, his head bowed demurely. 

“Tell me what it is you need,” Athos instructed, knowing better than to ask Aramis a question when he was in this state.

“Sir?” Aramis asked, unsure what it was Athos wanted him to say. 

“Your actions indicate that you are troubled,” Athos explained. “I would like to know what it is that is bothering you.”

“I am not troubled, Sir,” Aramis replied. “I only wish to…”

“Do not lie to me, Aramis,” Athos said sternly.

Aramis clamped his mouth shut so hard his teeth clacked together. He kept his hands at his sides, but gripped his thighs tightly. He had not meant to anger his owner. He had been telling the truth. He was not troubled. He only wished to make up for his behavior over the last weeks in some small way. 

“Shall we try that again?” Athos asked affecting a somewhat bored tone.

Aramis nodded but did not look up. “I was not lying, Sir,” Aramis said quickly. “I only wish to make up for the way I have acted, the way I have treated you both. The lack of care I have extended to you both, it pains me.”

“I see,” Athos said, still careful to maintain the façade of the bored aristocrat. “And is that all?”

“N-n-no, Sir,” Aramis stammered. “I… I have overstepped my place as well. I was, was trying to make amends for my lapse.”

Porthos opened his mouth to tell Aramis that he most certainly had not overstepped himself, but Athos shook his head, silencing him. Porthos gaped at him, unsure but Athos nodded, asking him silently to let him take the lead on this. Reluctantly, Porthos complied.

“Well, at least you have owned up to your transgressions,” Athos said haughtily, causing Aramis to flinch. “And it is now abundantly clear that we need to show you what your place actually is. I think you have forgotten your humility, Aramis. You could do with a reminder.”

“Yes, Sir,” Aramis gasped, his face heating in humiliation even as his cock began to harden in his breeches. 

“I see you are not opposed to the idea,” Athos smirked, eying his tightening breeches. “You are so good with your words, spin them for us now. Tell us your dirtiest fantasy. Tell us the one you only bring out in the dead of night when you are certain no one else can see. Tell us the desire that shames you the most.”

Aramis felt a startling combination of humiliation and lust roil through him. He had not expected such a thing from Athos. To hear such a command from him, to be so blatantly controlled, was intoxicating, but what he asked for… 

“Stalling, Aramis?” Athos asked lightly then his voice turned dark. “Or do you intend to disobey me?”

“N-n-n-no, Sir,” Aramis said quickly. “I… I am unsure wh-wh-where to begin.”

“Then perhaps you should begin by taking off your clothes,” Athos suggested. “I think we would like to look at you while you spin your tale for us.”

“Yes, Sir,” Aramis said, glad for the slight reprieve. He shed his few clothes as slowly as he could without appearing to be dawdling at it. He knew what he needed to tell them, had known as soon as Athos had commanded it of him, yet he was afraid. What would they think of him when he told them of this? Tristan had always called him a whore for it. Had laughed and said it was why he was made for men like him to use. Would his owners, his brothers, think the same once they knew?

“You are afraid,” Porthos said, unable to keep quiet in the face of Aramis’ distress as Athos had asked. “Why?”

“I fear what you will think of me after I bare this part of myself to you,” Aramis answered honestly. He kept his head down, finding it much easier to look at the ground than at his brothers right now.

“We will think the same of you as we did this morning and last night and the day before that and the week before that,” Athos told him. “Nothing you share with us, be it about your past or your desires, will change the way we see you, the way we feel about you. You are ours, Aramis, and nothing on this earth will take you from us.”

“Thank you,” Aramis said, his voice strained with emotion. “I do not mean…”

“Enough,” Athos said. “We can talk more later. Now it is time for your punishment. Lay yourself out on the blanket between us and do as you were told.”

“Yes, Sir,” Aramis gasped. He felt his arousal resurge within him and quickly moved to do as he had been instructed. He lay himself down between them, blushing slightly at the naked desire in their eyes. He had always enjoyed being looked at by his lovers, but laying there completely naked between the two clothed men sent a decadent thrill through him that had him blushing. Even so, he spread his legs slightly, wanting his lovers, his owners, to take their fill of him however they might wish to.

“You will not touch yourself,” Athos told him as he watched him get settled on the blanket. He saw the effect his words had on their lover and had to hide his grin. “You are ours to do with as we wish. Now tell us what you imagine in the dark when you are alone.”

Aramis swallowed thickly and closed his eyes. He brought the fantasy to mind easily. It was not one he indulged in often as it usually left him feeling somewhat dirty afterwards, as if even imagining such a thing were somehow wrong of him. But Athos was demanding this of him and he could never find that wrong.

“I… it is… to be taken… by… by two men… no, by the two of you… at once,” Aramis managed haltingly. 

“Have we not done that?” Porthos asked, confused. He and Athos had both taken Aramis together many times, one taking his mouth while the other fucked him. 

“Not… not like that,” Aramis said, flushing darkly at the realization that he was going to have to spell it out for them.

“Both of you… both of you inside of me… both of you fucking me… at once… together…”

Athos and Porthos shared a glance across their lover who lay between them. Porthos looked stunned by Aramis’ admission. Athos was as well, but he managed to hide it. He leaned down and slid his hand beneath Aramis’ head, tangling his fingers in his hair and gripping. Pulling his head back, he bared his throat to them.

“Both of us fucking you at once, Aramis?” he purred, his lips hovering next to Aramis’ ear. “Both of our cocks fucking into your ass at once? Is that what you dream of?”

“Yes,” Aramis gasped, curling his hands into fists to keep from touching himself, to keep from reaching for them. His cock had grown painfully hard at Athos’ words, at his blatant show of arousal and Aramis longed to give himself to the man, to be taken by him.

“Tell us,” Athos commanded once more, moving back but keeping his grip on Aramis’ hair. “Tell us how you imagine it. Are we rough with you? Do we throw you down and simply take you?”

“No,” Aramis said, shaking his head as much as Athos’ grip would allow. “Never that. You… you spread me out my bed, naked.”

“Like now,” Athos murmured causing Aramis to moan and shake with the realization.

“Y-y-yes,” he continued. “Porthos starts fingering me, stretching me open.”

“And what am I doing?” Athos asked.

“Watching,” Aramis panted. The similarities between his fantasy and what was happening right now were nearly overwhelming him. “And… and stroking yourself. Sometimes… sometimes you… you shove into my mouth and make me suck you then you pull out again and go back to watching Porthos stretch me.”

“Fuck,” Porthos whispered and pressed his hand over the bulge in his own breeches. Aramis looked positively debauched lying between them, his cock hard and flushed, while he spun his little fantasy for them.

“Now that’s an idea,” Athos murmured. He cast about for a moment then reached over to grab the oil he had set aside the previous night and tossed it to Porthos. “Porthos, care to do the honors?”

Porthos looked at Athos then back down at Aramis before grinning widely. “I’d love to,” he said as he uncorked the bottle. Coating his fingers in the oil, he spread Aramis’ legs so he could settle between them then began to run his fingers up and down his cleft, pressing against his hole each time he passed over it.

“Oh,” Aramis moaned as Porthos began touching him. He was shaking in earnest now, his entire body on fire. He had not thought they would do something like this, take his depraved fantasy and actually act upon it, even partially. But they were and the feeling of Porthos’ fingers there while he spoke of this was coming close to undoing him.

“Keep going,” Athos said.

Aramis was not sure if he was talking to him or Porthos but he wet his lips and started talking again anyway. “When… when he has all four of his… his fingers inside of me, you move… move to join him.”

“And what do I do once I am between your sweet thighs as well?” Athos asked, his eyes moving back and forth between Aramis’ face and where Porthos’ hand disappeared between his legs. 

“You… you… oh God, Porthos,” Aramis gasped as Porthos pushed a finger inside of him. For long seconds he could do nothing but moan and writhe between them, Athos holding him down by the hair and Porthos fucking his finger into him as deeply as it would go. He felt taken by them, completely and utterly _owned_ and he wanted to weep with the joy of it.

“Feels good, does it?” Porthos asked, fucking his finger in deep then pulling it back only to slowly impale him on it once more. 

“Yes, Sir,” Aramis gasped as he tried to get himself under control. He was still trembling but they were not having to physically hold him down now. “It feels… I do not have the words. Oh, I want you both so badly.”

“You’ll have us,” Porthos vowed. “Now be a good boy and finish telling us your fantasy.”

Aramis moaned again and sucked in a breath. Whenever Porthos called him a good boy it made his insides flutter. Licking his lips, he looked up into Athos’ eyes and the look of pure lust there would have frightened him had it been in any man’s eyes but his brother’s.

“When you join him, you take the oil and start adding your fingers in beside his,” Aramis said. He felt Porthos pull his finger completely out and started to whine then gasped when it was quickly replaced with two. “You… you stuff me so full. I am moaning and… and sweating, but you keep pushing more and more into me, making me take them. Even… even when the tears run down my face, you do not stop.”

“Do we hurt you?” Athos asked, worried at the mention of tears. He knew Porthos would never even consent to attempt this if he thought it was done at Aramis’ expense. 

“No,” Aramis said, trying to find the words to explain. “It is not painful, just overwhelming. I feel so much. You are taking so much from me and even when I feel as though you cannot take any more… you do.”

“And then what do we do?” Athos asked. “What do we do to you when you feel as though we have taken everything you can possibly give us?”

“Ah,” Aramis groaned, shuddering again as Porthos began to turn and twist the two fingers he had inside of him. He was shaking again, unable to stop himself, but he felt Athos tighten his grip on his hair and let that ground him. 

“Take it, boy,” Athos told him.

“Yes, Sir,” Aramis all but sobbed. “You… you pull me up onto my knees and press yourself along my back. I… I watch as Porthos lies down where I was. He is naked now and his cock is so hard… so big. He covers it in oil then pulls me down on top of him. 

“I am so stretched that his cock slides in easily,” Aramis continued. “Not something either of us are used to. He holds me down on his chest, his arms right around me, as if I might try to flee. He twines his legs with me then spreads them wide, spreading me wide in the process.”

“Getting you ready for me,” Athos murmured. He looked at Aramis’ flushed face then down at where Porthos was fucking into him easily now. “Add another finger, Porthos. He can take it.”

“Are you sure?” Porthos asked.

“I do believe he wants to feel it,” Athos said then looked down at Aramis. “Isn’t that right?”

“Yes, Sir,” Aramis said, blushing hotly once more. He did want to feel it. He wanted to feel them stretching him, taking him, claiming him as their own.

That was good enough for Porthos. He pulled his fingers free and added yet more oil. He lifted Aramis’ leg this time and draped it over his shoulder, exposing his hole more fully. When he pushed his three fingers inside of him, he felt the man’s body clench down on the invasion and stilled.

“Fuck him, Porthos,” Athos told him. “Let him feel you taking your pleasure of him.”

With a growl, Porthos shoved his fingers in all the way, his own cock jerking hard at the gasping moan he pulled from Aramis in doing so. He held them there for a moment, enjoying the feel of that tight heat all around him, then began to slowly fuck him with them.

“Finish your tale,” Athos told Aramis, giving his hair a quick tug as he did.

“As he… he holds me open, I feel you move up behind me,” Aramis said, his words coming in a rush now as Porthos fucked him with his hand. “You press against my back then I feel your cock nudging at my hole. Before I can tense up you are shoving yourself inside of me, forcing the head in next to Porthos’ cock. Oh Dios! Porthos… Porthos, please!”

“Finish,” Athos snarled, jerking his head back hard.

“You pause… pause for only a moment,” Aramis gasped, shaking and thrashing as his body was simply overwhelmed. “Then you shove yourself in beside him to the hilt, making me take you. Oh, God, I am so full. I have never been so full it seems. You are both filling me utterly. Then you start to move and it is as if my entire world has narrowed to that, to the feel of your cocks sliding back and forth within me. 

“When you both spend, when you both fill me with your seed until it runs out of me, I am so exhausted, so sated I can hardly draw breath.”

“Have we made you spend?” Athos asked, his own voice strained with barely suppressed arousal.

“Yes,” Aramis gasped as Porthos drove his fingers in deep. “I spent while you were both fucking me. It was more pleasure than I could withstand.”

“Oh love,” Porthos said as he continued to fuck Aramis as deeply as he could. After this, he did not think the man would have any trouble at all taking him as Athos wanted. He glanced up at Athos and saw the lust in his eyes, quirking an eyebrow he grinned when Athos nodded in reply.

“Spend for us, Aramis,” Athos whispered as he leaned down close to him once more. “Do it now.”

For a moment, Aramis froze then he was bucking his hips at nothing and spending. His seed striped his belly and chest as his body clamped down on Porthos’ fingers inside of him, making him cry out and spend even harder at the feel of it. When it was over, when he was completely spent, he collapsed back down on the blanket between them, shaking like a leaf.

“Easy, love,” Porthos said as he eased his fingers free of him. He hastily wiped them on the blanket then moved to lie down beside his shaking lover. Athos quickly wiped him up with a bit of cloth then laid down as well and they joined hands across Aramis’ belly, holding him safe between them as they waited for him to calm once more.

By the time Aramis had managed to calm, Athos and Porthos had both calmed considerably as well. They were both still aroused, but their need was no longer urgent. They were content now to simply hold their lover and wait for him to come back to himself, back to them. When he at last seemed to regain an awareness of his surroundings, Aramis looked at his lovers, from one to the other and smiled softly.

“Thank you,” he said.

“You are most welcome,” Athos replied grinning back.

“You liked it then? What we did?” Porthos asked.

“Very much,” Aramis replied, blushing faintly. “I had never thought you would be so willing to offer me something so…”

“If you enjoy it and it does you no harm, then we would see you have it,” Athos told him. He lifted Aramis’ hand and kissed his fingers, enjoying the way it made his lover gasp in surprised delight.

“You… you do not find me…” Aramis began only to trail off nervously.

“Find you what?” Athos asked as he continued to pepper Aramis’ hand with gentle kisses.

“Whorish,” Aramis replied ashamedly.

“No,” Athos told him calmly, refusing to react to the word. “I find your desire honest and rather stimulating, truth be told.”

“Tristan always said it was what made me such a good whore,” Aramis explained. “That I wasn’t satisfied with just one cock fucking me.”

“Tristan is the son of the devil and should be sent back to hell where he belongs,” Porthos growled menacingly.

“Enjoying something does not make you a whore, my love,” Athos said. “I am only glad that Porthos and I are in the unique position of being able to fulfill this particular desire of yours.”

“You… you would do that?” Aramis asked, awed that they would be willing to do something so depraved for him.

“’Course we would,” Porthos said. “As long as we can do it without hurting you.”

“You can,” Aramis said quickly. “It only ever hurt when they would get rough or try to move too quickly.”

“Tell me their names and I’ll make them pay for every time they so much as made you flinch,” Porthos promised.

“We have had this discussion, mon cher,” Aramis laughed. “And killing old men is still beneath you.”

“They…” Athos began and had to close his eyes against the image that came to mind. “But of course. They would have been men much closer in age to Tristan and you still just a boy.”

“I am sorry,” Aramis said, turning his head away in shame.

“Hey now, none of that,” Porthos told him. “No shame here, love. Not with us.”

“Porthos is right. We do not blame you, Aramis. We are, in fact, quite grateful you managed to survive your ordeal at that monster’s hands. But enough talk about him. Can you tell us what it is you like about this particular act so much?”

“It is… is hard to say,” Aramis replied, beginning to fidget between them.

“Settle down now,” Porthos said, stilling him with one large, warm hand on his chest.

“Forgive me,” Athos smirked, his voice one more that of the bored aristocrat as he raked his eyes up and down Aramis’ naked body. “Tell us what you find so pleasing about the thought of _both_ our cocks fucking you at once.”

Aramis sucked in a breath at the order, arousal rolling through him despite his recent release. Athos’ control of him, the utter disdain in his voice as he did so, did wicked, wicked this to his self-control and made him want to roll over onto his hands and knees and beg to please him in any way he wished.

“It… part of it is the sensation, that is… of being… being so filled,” Aramis began hesitantly, a bit unsure exactly how to explain why this appealed to him so much. “Part of it is the, well, the forbidden nature of it, I would suppose. It is so very… perverse… to have two men fucking me, using me, at once, stretching me impossibly wide as if…”

“As if?” Athos prompted when Aramis paused and looked away.

“As if I had no say, no choice. As if I was solely intended for their use,” Aramis explained. “Do you see now why Tristan would call me a whore when…”

“Do not say his name,” Porthos growled. “I do not care what that bastard thought or said or implied. He was wrong. You are no whore. You were not then either. You were young and he used your desires against you.”

“Listen to Porthos,” Athos told him. “We do not find your desires to be wrong or whorish, Aramis, no matter what the reasoning behind them. You enjoy being used, so you say, but I believe there are very specific restrictions to that enjoyment. I think, were it anyone other than Porthos and I, you would not find any such pleasure.”

“No,” Aramis agreed, shuddering in revulsion at the thought of anyone else touching him in such a manner. “I would never… I could never. It could only ever be the two of you.”

“And that makes all the difference in the world,” Athos told him.

They let Aramis rest that day, Athos and Porthos both refusing to let him do anything around their camp. He had complained at first, but Athos had told him that he was theirs to do with as they pleased and this was how they pleased at the moment. He had subsided after that, allowing them to take care of and pamper him. 

In truth, Athos wanted him to rest. He still wanted Porthos to make love to Aramis before they left here and he thought tonight would be a good time for that. After all, Aramis was definitely stretched. It would be a shame to let all that hard work go to waste. Athos himself would have liked nothing better than to be with his lover in such a way again, but he was content to wait. As much as he wanted to lie with Aramis, he wanted it more for Porthos’ sake. He had meant what he said, watching his brother die a little bit more every day they were apart had been hell on him.

After dinner had been eaten and the detritus cleared away they ended up stretched out together, Aramis cosseted between them. After his initial protestations, he seemed to revel in the attention, enjoying his lover’s touches and seeking them out as much as possible. It was warm enough that he was only in his smalls and Athos and Porthos had both stripped down to the waist, wanting to feel Aramis’ skin against their own. 

“Do you remember what I said before,” Athos began slowly, gauging Aramis’ reaction carefully for any signs of misgivings. “About Porthos taking you while we are here.”

“Oh,” Aramis gasped, his heart suddenly beating faster in his chest.

“We do not have to, love,” Porthos said at once, concerned that Aramis might not be ready, regardless of what he had said before.

“No,” Aramis said quickly. “I… I want that.”

“Are you sure?” Athos asked, equally concerned about pushing Aramis into something he was not yet ready for. “We do not have to do this here, no matter what I may have said earlier.”

“Oh, no, Sir,” Aramis replied. “I want to, I do. I only wish…”

“What?” Athos asked. 

“I only wish that I could make love to both you before we leave,” Aramis admitted.

“As do I,” Athos assured him. “But I am willing to neither overwhelm you nor leave you too sore. I shall wait.”

“Ever my protector,” Aramis smiled. 

“Always and forever,” Athos told him, taking his hand and kissing it tenderly again. He had found himself making a great many rather tender gestures toward Aramis of late. They seemed somewhat dichotomous to the domineering sex they were having. Perhaps that was the reason, being so heavy-handed with Aramis was making him want to show the man that he still cherished him in much gentler ways as well.

“Will you prepare me for him, Sir?” Aramis asked. It physically pained him to think of Athos apart from them while they made love and he wanted Athos to be as much a part of the experience as he could.

“I would like nothing more,” Athos told him. “Porthos, do you want to hold him while I get him ready for you?”

“Yeah,” Porthos said his voice a bit gruff. The way Athos and Aramis were acting with each other right now, so gentle, so careful was about to be his undoing if he was not careful. Having Aramis in his arms would at least give him something else to focus on.

Athos helped Aramis settle between Porthos’ legs so that he was lying back against the man’s chest. Athos kissed him softly on the mouth the reached up and kissed Porthos as well before beginning to slowly kiss and suck his way down Aramis’ body.

Once he reached the top of his smalls, he carefully eased him out of them and set them aside. Aramis’ cock was flushed and erect already and he panted when Athos stroked his hand up and down his shaft. Athos placed a quick kiss to the head then moved down to suck at his bollocks causing Aramis to cry out and spread his legs.

Athos pressed a kiss to each of Aramis’ spread thighs before taking up the bottle of oil and liberally coating his fingers. He rubbed and caressed Aramis’ bollocks then let his hand slide lower to stoke along his cleft. At his hole, he left his finger simply circle around it, pressing lightly but not breeching him, enjoying touching his lover and drawing moans and gasps from him.

“Please,” Aramis gasped as Athos continued to torment him, pressing his finger against him but never sliding it inside. He was almost desperate to feel it breech him, to feel it push inside of him and fill him in a prelude of what was to come.

“Shhh,” Athos soothed as he did as Aramis bid and pressed his finger into him. When he felt only a token resistance, he let his finger slide in to the hilt then held it there for a moment before pulling it back and beginning to fucking him with long, lazy strokes.

Athos did not wait long before easing a second finger in beside the first. He felt Aramis gasp and shudder but his body still accepted him easily. Glancing up, he took in the nearly rapturous expression on Aramis’ face as well as the lust-filled look on Porthos’. He felt his own cock throb in his breeches and reached down with his free hand to palm himself roughly.

“Don’t rush,” Porthos cautioned softly. He knew how caught up in things they tended to get. He would rather Athos took his time and made sure Aramis was ready than risk hurting him.

“I will not,” Athos assured him, “but he is still rather relaxed from before. I will not hurt him, though. I promise.”

“I know you won’t,” Porthos told him. “You have been nothing but tender with him since earlier. It… it is a somewhat marked change in you, brother.”

“I know,” Athos smiled. He said nothing else as he continued to prepare Aramis, stretching him carefully. The sounds he wrung from the man, from soft sights to moans, were like music and Athos could not seem to get enough.

“I will not break,” Aramis said when it appeared that Athos might be content to keep to his slow and gentle pace forever.

“I know,” Athos repeated himself. “Yet I suddenly find myself with the desire to be gentle. To show you that not only do I desire you but that I cherish you equally if not more so.”

“Making me weep when we are like this is not fair,” Aramis gasped as he frantically blinked away tears.

“My apologies, beloved,” Athos said sincerely. “Please believe me when I say I only ever wish to bring you joy in this.”

Porthos could feel Aramis shaking slightly and wrapped his arms around him. “I have you,” he whispered. “We both do. It’s alright, love.”

“Oh,” Aramis cried out. He was about to say more but Athos chose that moment to pull his two fingers free and replace them with three. Aramis groaned at the feeling of being stretched and ground down against Athos’ hand trying to take him deeper still.

“Somebody’s eager,” Porthos chuckled, his mouth still next to Aramis’ ear so that his breath ghosted over it.

“I want you,” Aramis told him. “I want to feel you inside me again. I was so scared that this was forever lost to me. I…”

“Shhh, easy, love,” Porthos soothed. “We are here and we are never leaving your side again.”

“Good,” Aramis told him. “Because if you tried I would track you down and find you. We… we belong to each other.”

“Yes, we do,” Athos agreed. He pulled his fingers from Aramis and sat back, satisfied that he was stretched enough that Porthos would not cause him pain in taking him. 

“Are you sure he’s ready?” Porthos asked.

Athos nodded and moved out of the way, giving Porthos room to situate Aramis as he would. Athos smiled down at him as Porthos stretched him out on his back then handed Porthos the oil. He made himself comfortable near Aramis’ head and let his hand sink into his hair, carding his fingers through hit and massaging his scalp as Porthos prepared himself.

“This won’t be too hard for you, will it?” Porthos asked him as he slicked himself. He had quickly stripped off the rest of his clothes and laid them aside, wanting to feel as much of Aramis’ skin against him as he could.

“I am sure,” Aramis told him. “I want to watch you while you take me.”

Porthos had to bite back a groan as he pushed Aramis’ thighs apart, baring him to his eyes. He could see the oil glistening on his skin where Athos had gotten him ready and the thought alone made his cock jerk. Holding one leg up high, he nestled the head of his cock at Aramis’ hole and stilled. 

Porthos took a moment to stare down at Aramis then began to slowly push inside. He kept his eyes on his lover’s face as he did, taking in the storm of emotions that passed through his eyes as he slowly filled him. Porthos moved forward slowly but relentlessly, not stopping until he was all the way inside the other man. Once he was buried to the hilt, he let his head fall down to rest against Aramis’ own and simply held himself still, giving both of them a chance to adjust to the feeling.

“Please,” Aramis whispered, his voice trembling, when he could no longer hold back. His body was on fire and he ached for Porthos to make love to him, to rebuild the bond between them and finally make them whole again.

Porthos kissed him then, softly at first then with more and more passion as his body’s desires began to take over. Finally, he pulled back and held himself up so he could look down at Aramis once more as he began to move. 

He moved slowly at first, drawing back nearly all the way then pushing slowly back inside the other man, refilling him as Aramis clutched at his arms and panted. He glanced over at Athos and felt a hot flare of lust at the look of open adoration on the man’s face was he stroked and petted Aramis’ hair, letting him know he was there as unobtrusively as possible.

“Please,” Aramis begged again as he tried to thrust up against Porthos. The slow pace was almost a tease and he did not know how much more he could take. He felt wrung out between the two of them, Athos’ hand in his hair the only thing tethering him to the earth.

Unwilling to make Aramis beg again, Porthos began to pick up the pace. He began to move a bit faster, putting a small amount of force into his thrusts that soon had Aramis’ crying out with every jolt of his hips. 

“Stroke yourself,” he told Aramis, unable to touch him since he was holding himself above him.

“No,” Aramis said, shaking his head as much as Athos’ hand would allow. “Like this. Make me spend like this. Please…”

“Alright,” Porthos growled. He began to move faster then, snapping his hips hard and fast, just the way Aramis used to like it. He could feel his lover’s body tightening around him and knew he was close. His eyes locked on Aramis’ face, he kept going, determined to make his lover spend on his cock.

Aramis could feel himself getting close. Porthos was taking him now, truly taking him and it made his body sing. He could feel his bullocks drawing up as he prepared to spend and knew it would only take a few more hard thrusts.

“Spend for me,” Porthos told him, his voice rough and low. “Do it, love. Spend for me.”

In a blinding flash, it was suddenly too much. Porthos’ words, the way he was taking him, even Athos’ hand in his hair all came together and Aramis find himself arching up hard and spending as he cried out, caught off guard by the sheer force of it.

Porthos continued to fuck him as he spent, marveling at the beauty stretched out beneath him. Aramis’ pleasure was always a sight to behold but this time, it bordered on transcendent. Porthos only managed a few more ragged thrusts before he was slamming forward hard and moaning out Aramis’ name as he spent.

When the pair finally managed to come back to themselves it was to find Athos waiting with a cloth and some water. Porthos carefully withdrew, reaching out and soothing Aramis when he winced. As he laid down beside them an, Athos handed him a cloth then began cleaning up Aramis, allowing the man to simply lay where he was and rest, secure in the knowledge that his brothers would tend to him.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay on this. S3 has blocked me on this story... badly.

Part 25

It was with some reluctance that the trio began breaking camp on their third day. They had enjoyed their interlude in the woods, away from the schemes and machinations back in Paris. Still, even if the Captain had not threatened to come looking for them, they knew it was time to return home. They were not the type of men to run from trouble. They never had been and they refused to start now. Whatever was in store for them, they would meet it head on. Together.

As they prepared to get under way, Aramis was startled to realize that he was looking forward to returning, not only to their home, but to his life as well. While he had thoroughly enjoyed his time being “owned” by his brothers, he had also missed being their equal and he was looking forward to resuming his place by their side once more.

The realization gave him pause and he glanced at his brothers nervously. He had asked for this, told them that this was something he wanted, and now… now he found himself unsure. For while he had enjoyed it, it was perhaps the knowledge that it was without a sense of permanence that had allowed him to do so as fully as he had. His brothers, however, did not necessarily understand that and Aramis was unsure how to convey such a thing to them.

His mind preoccupied, he did not notice the way Porthos kept casting glances in his direction, frowning more every time he did so. He was too caught up in what all this might mean for him, for all of them, to even notice. How was he going to tell them that he had changed his mind? Would they allow such a thing? Should he even risk coming to them with it, or was he better off simply taking what they gave him and being grateful for it?

By the time they returned to Paris, Porthos’ concern had grown into a deep-seated worry. He wanted to do nothing more than bundle Aramis off to their home and find out what was bothering him but he knew they had to report to Treville. While Athos would have been willing to do so, Porthos did not like the idea of any of them being on their own now that they were back, at least not until they knew who was after Aramis and why. 

Thankfully, Athos kept the meeting with the Captain short and they were soon on their way home. He shared a glance with Porthos, making it clear that Aramis’ sudden change in demeanor had not escaped him either. Once they were safely home, they would sit down and figure out what to do. Porthos thought he might have an idea and it worried him as he was unsure how Athos would take it. He knew his brother would not press, would not push Aramis for more than he wished to give, but he had seen the way Athos had responded to Aramis these past three days and he was not at all sure he would want to simply give that up.

All three men breathed a sigh of relief as soon as they closed the door to Aramis’ rooms behind them. It felt good to be home again. Even the as yet unknown threats facing them could not put a damper on that. In the wee small hours of the morning, after they had eaten and slept, Aramis still sleeping safely between them, the two men began to talk.

“I take it you have an idea what has been bothering him?” Athos asked. He had not missed the wary glances Porthos had begun sending his way. He thought he knew the cause of them but wanted to hear it from the man himself first.

“I got an idea, yeah,” Porthos said. 

“And yet you hesitate,” Athos commented. “Do you think I will object in some way to whatever it is he has decided?”

“No,” Porthos said. “I know you won’t. But I seen how much you enjoyed these last three days, how much you enjoyed him, how he was.”

“And you think I will be upset if he were to take back what he said about wishing to be owned by us,” Athos stated.

“Yeah,” Porthos said. 

“I will admit that I did enjoy our time together these past days,” Athos began, choosing his words with the utmost care. “It is a side of Aramis I had never seen before and thus showed me a side of myself I had not realized was even there.

“However, if given the choice, I will always prefer my brother standing at my side than kneeling at my feet. That, you need never doubt.”

“You have no idea what a relief that is to hear,” Porthos admitted quietly. “I do not mind playing at this for him… and you as well. But the thought of doing this permanently, I fear what it might do to him.”

“Yes,” Athos said. “He has endured more than one man should ever have to. Many of his demons, they are not as laid to rest as any of us would like. I, too, worry what indulging in this too much might do, what it might awaken within him.”

“So what do we do?” Porthos asked, glancing down to make sure Aramis was still sleeping soundly. It was clear that the realization was troubling Aramis and both men could understand why. Saying no, denying them, was something he struggled with. And this, taking back something he had willingly offered them, would be difficult indeed for Aramis. They would have to work hard to rebuild his confidence, to make him sure enough in his place at their side to be able to tell them “no”.

“We be patient,” Athos said somewhat reluctantly. “We do not push. We let him come to it in his own way, in his own time. And we do everything in our power to show him that what he has with us will not go away, that nothing he says or does will ever make us leave him. If we can convince him of that, finally, then he will at last be able to trust us enough to put his own needs first.”

Aramis came awake slowly and with no small amount of reluctance. He was comfortable and warm and could feel his lovers’ bodies pressing against him front and back. Even now, back in the real world, it did not fail to bring him a sense of peace, of rightness. He could hear them talking above him and realized they were both awake. When he heard Athos say something about being able to trust them, the last of his sleepiness fled.

“I always trust you, my brothers,” Aramis said softly. He chuckled when he felt both men go as still as rabbits in a hunter’s sights at the sound of his voice.

“How much of that did you hear?” Athos asked cautiously.

“Only that last bit,” Aramis replied. “Something about me being able to trust you. From your reactions, however, I think perhaps I missed something important.”

“No,” Athos said, relieved. 

“Athos…”

“We are not hiding anything from you, Aramis. We would not be so foolish as that. Nor so disrespectful. We were discussing our thoughts on how things went. And our concerns about what is bothering you.”

“Nothing is bothering me,” Aramis said quickly.

“And now which of us is not being completely honest, love?” Porthos asked. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to Aramis’ shoulder, hoping to take the sting out of his words. 

“Understand, we do not mean to pressure you in this,” Athos said. “That is one of the things we were discussing, that you will tell us what is wrong when you feel safe enough to do so.”

“When you feel like you can trust us with it,” Porthos added. 

“I trust you,” Aramis said again, though his voice was quieter, smaller.

“We know you do,” Athos said. “All of us have demons. We all struggle with them. Yours make it hard for you to trust us with certain things. The fault is not yours, or even really ours though some of the culpability must be laid at our feet.”

“What Athos is trying to say is that we understand why you maybe can’t just come out and tell us what’s bothering you,” Porthos tried to explain. “We understand and we’ll wait for you until you can. Just don’t think you have to go around acting like nothing’s on your mind because we know it is.”

“We are here for you whenever you need us to be,” Athos said.

“I love you both so much,” Aramis said. He gripped Athos with one hand and reached back to tug at Porthos’ hip with the other. “I…”

“You do not need to speak of this now,” Athos said, interrupting him. “We did not mean to make you think you did. We trust you to keep your own council, Aramis.”

“You are my brothers. You are the loves of my life. There is nothing I cannot trust you with and I know this thing,” Aramis said, growing angry with himself, for his inability to let go of the past.

“The head and the heart, they are not always in tune,” Athos remarked. “There have been too many times in your past when you have thought you could trust and been shown, bitterly so, that you were wrong to do so. Even… even we have done this thing to you. It is no surprise that your heart is still reluctant.”

“No,” Aramis said. He sat up then, needing to be able to look at both of them. “No, I am not reluctant to trust you. I trust you both completely. I…”

“What is it, love?” Porthos asked.

“I realized something as we prepared to return home yesterday,” Aramis began slowly. “It stunned me. I had never… it was not something…”

“Take your time,” Athos said, not wanting Aramis to grow agitated. “Would it be easier if we dressed and discussed this at the table?”

“Ah, I am not sure,” Aramis said, running a hand through his messy hair. “Part of me thinks so and part of me does not wish to give up this closeness, especially when speaking of this.”

“Then move back a bit and let us sit up so we can talk and still be here next to you,” Athos said.

It was only the work of a few moments for them to get situated. They had wanted to put Aramis between them, but he needed to face them, to be able to see their reactions as he spoke. He did not think he would be able to do this otherwise.

“Alright,” Athos said once they were settled. “You said you realized something when we were heading home yesterday. What was that?”

“I… I found myself glad,” Aramis began somewhat hesitantly. 

“Glad?” Athos queried.

“To be going home,” Aramis clarified. “I had enjoyed our time there greatly, but I was glad that it was coming to an end.”

“You were not expecting to feel that way?” Athos asked.

“No,” Aramis said, chuckling weakly. “I… I had thought I would miss it. That returning to the real world, casting off your ownership of me, would leave me with a sense of longing. It did not.”

“And this troubles you?” Athos pressed. They were so close, so close to getting Aramis to tell them what he wanted, so close to getting Aramis to tell them something he did not want, to deny them something. If they could just get him to take that last step, Athos thought it might help heal those wounds inside of him that, even now, were apt to break open and bleed anew.

“I told you I wanted it,” Aramis said, his voice barely more than a whisper in the quiet room. “I told you I wanted to belong to you… to be owned by you. I meant it when I said it, but now…”

“But now you have discovered that you would prefer something else perhaps?” Athos asked.

“Yes,” Aramis nodded. He looked down at the bed then, unable to meet their eyes any longer. He was telling them no. He was telling them that he did not want something, something he had expressly offered to them. They were going to be angry. They were going to make him…

“Aramis,” Athos called softly. He saw Aramis jerk at the sound of his voice, but he lifted his head and looked at them. The stark fear Athos saw there made his heart clench painfully in his chest. “I will tell you what I told Porthos. I enjoyed our time together a very great deal, for it showed me a side of myself I had not even realized was there.”

Athos watched as Aramis’ face began to crumple, as he pulled in on himself, preparing. “Aramis,” Athos admonished gently. “As I told Porthos, while I enjoyed myself very much these past three days, if given the choice, I would rather have my brother standing by my side than kneeling at my feet.”

“Athos?” Aramis gasped, going still as his lover’s words sank in.

“I love you,” Athos said simply. “I would have no objection to playing this game with you, but I would never want it to be more than that. Not truly.”

“I was worried,” Porthos put in, wanting Aramis to know his feelings as well. “I saw how much Athos enjoyed it and I saw how you were struggling afterwards and I was worried how he’d take it if this turned out to be something you didn’t want any more. I mean, I know he would never ask you for something you did not want to give. Neither of us would ever do that.”

“But you worried that I would pick up on his… his desire for it and offer myself whether I truly wanted to do so or not,” Aramis said, understanding some of Porthos’ concern.

“Yeah,” Porthos said. “I know you wouldn’t do it on purpose but I don’t know if you could help yourself. Fear, it can make a man do things he would never have thought possible.”

“You are not wrong, my love,” Aramis agreed. “If I had thought he wanted it, that I was denying him something, I do not know if I would have been able to stop from offering myself to him in such a way. To say no, to deny you what is yours by right…”

“You are not ours by _right_ ,” Porthos said, his voice barely more than a growl. “You are ours because you choose to be.”

“Peace, Porthos,” Athos whispered. “He is coming to realize that, but it shall not happen in a day. We are attempting to undo years of conditioning. That will take time.”

“You are right. I am sorry, brother.”

“Do not apologize for that,” Aramis said, smiling softly at them. “Your protection of me, even when it is myself you are protecting me from, it makes the light inside me glow brighter when I thought it all but extinguished.”

“So, what we shared in the forest, that is something you no longer wish?” Athos asked, wanting to be clear on this.

“I do not mind it to… to play,” Aramis said. “But I find I prefer to be your equal rather than your property.”

“As do we,” Athos said. 

&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M

Milady lay back in her bed, watching the curtains flutter idly. She was trying to decide what to do. She had learned so many interesting things about her dear husband. She had known, of course, of how inordinately fond he was of his precious brothers. This, however, seemed like so much more than mere fondness. 

Unlike everyone else her husband interacted with, she alone knew what he looked like when he professed to be in love. She knew that look on his face, that softening around his eyes, when he was gazing at one he had given his heart to. After all, he had certainly looked at her with such nauseating adoration enough times for her to recognize it.

Now, however, the recipient of his love-sick gaze was his brother. Or perhaps, brothers. For she doubted if Athos would allow the other man quite so close unless he was… partaking as well. She chuckled at the thought of proud Athos, so scarred by her deception that he would not so much as consider allowing another woman to grace his bed. Instead, he had looked for lovers elsewhere. And found them.

This all led to her current dilemma. What was she going to do about the marksman? A part of her thought of simply killing him. She knew his loss, his death, would devastate her husband. In addition, if her suspicions were correct, once it became known that Aramis had died because of Athos, he would likely lose his other brother as well. It was still quite tempting and would prove much easier to achieve. She had never been one for taking the easy way, however. Not if more havoc could be wreaked with but a little extra effort. 

She thought about it then, how much more it would hurt Athos to lose Aramis to her, not through death, but through choice instead. It was one thing to have someone you love taken from you, struck down while you were helpless to stop it. It was quite another to watch that person being slowly pulled from you, to watch them consciously choosing the presence of another over your own. 

She laughed out loud as she imagined just how much it would destroy her former husband inside when he realized that, not only had his lover left him, but had chosen to align himself with one of his enemies in so doing. Every time Athos saw them together, it would be like a fresh blade sliding between his ribs, hot and sharp and exquisitely painful. Moreover, with Aramis at her side, she would be free to move about Paris as she wished. Athos would no longer be able to keep her away. Aramis would see to that. 

Mind made up, Milady settled down to get some rest. She would do whatever she could to help Lizette seduce Aramis and get him in their beds. Worst-case scenario, they failed and she would have to resort to killing him. Either way, Athos would lose him. That was enough for her.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I apologize for the long delays on this and blame my S3 block. Hopefully, it will start moving along some...

Part 26

Lizette had hired someone to keep an eye on Aramis’ lodgings and let her know the moment he had returned. She had finally worked out a plan and now merely waited for an opportunity to put it into action. She had thought about staging it just outside the Garrison, catching Aramis on his way in, but there was too great a risk that Musketeers other than Aramis would get involved. She did not want that. She needed Aramis to be her savior so that she could show him her overwhelming gratitude.

Now that she knew he was back, it was only a matter of having the appropriate men on hand and waiting near the market. She had eyes in place, keeping tabs on Aramis’ movements. The next time he ventured to the market without his ever-present brothers by his side, she would be ready.

As it turned out, she did not have to wait long. Apparently, they had found their cupboards somewhat bare after returning from their little sojourn. While Athos and Porthos headed toward the Garrison, Aramis had turned toward the market instead, giving Lizette the opportunity she needed.

&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M

“I don’t like this,” Porthos said as he and Athos walked toward the Garrison, each step taking them farther from Aramis should he need them.

“Neither do I,” Athos agreed. “But Aramis is right. If we make it too difficult for her to gain access to him, who knows what she might resort to. Besides, it is just the market. There are far too many witnesses about for her to do anything to him there, though perhaps d’Artagnan can send Constance in that direction just to be sure.”

Appeased for the time being, Porthos quickened his pace. The sooner they got to the Garrison, the sooner they could get d’Artagnan to send Constance to keep an eye on things. Not that Porthos didn’t think Aramis fully capable of looking after himself, he did. But things had a way of happening and while a busy market worked in their favor in regards to witnesses, it worked the opposite in regards to hostages. And Aramis would never allow an innocent to be harmed if he could prevent it.

When they got to the Garrison, they found Treville already talking with d’Artagnan. They quickly joined the pair, noting the concern on their Captain’s face. “Was I expecting you two today?” he asked.

“No,” Athos answered. “We thought it best to give Aramis some space. We will never get this situation resolved if we keep him under lock and key.”

“No, I suppose not,” Treville frowned. “Where did he go?”

“To the market,” Athos replied. “d’Artagnan, do you think Constance might mind taking a quick trip there? Just to keep an eye on things.”

“I’ll go at once,” d’Artagnan said. He headed toward the gate then stopped and turned back. “Does she need to take her pistol?”

Athos looked at him, surprised at the question. “I do not believe there will be any trouble,” he said. “I do think Lizette will attempt to make contact with Aramis but I don’t think she will try to hurt him.”

“Have her take the pistol,” Porthos said suddenly. “Whenever she’s out, until this is settled, she takes it with her.”

D’Artagnan searched the two men’s faces then gave a sharp nod. He headed toward the gate once more, his steps quick. He would have run if it would not have drawn too much attention. As it was, he made sure to scowl as he went, attempting to give the impression that he had been sent away by the pair as they talked with the Captain. He didn’t think whoever was behind this had eyes in the Garrison itself, but if it was Milady, then there was no telling.

&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M

Aramis pasted his best carefree smile on his face as he headed toward the market at a leisurely stroll. He understood his lovers’ dislike of this attempt to draw Lizette out but it needed to be done. He disliked it as well, though for different reasons. If d’Artagnan was right, if Milady was somehow behind this, then he was not the actual target. Athos was. Athos was the one in true danger, Aramis was probably just the bait she had chosen to lure him in. If she found that bait too difficult to acquire, she might decide to move against him outright. That was not something Aramis wanted to contemplate. Not without Athos by his side where he could protect him.

The one true thing working in their favor, if Milady was involved, was the woman’s innate cruelty. Her own sadism would not allow her to make things quick for Athos. No musket ball fired from a blind alley. No poison slipped in his wine. No, a quick death would not be nearly painful enough to suit her. She would want him to suffer and that would, hopefully, give them time to stop her.

As he neared the outskirts of the market, Aramis heard a woman cry out and the sound of scuffling. Hand on his sword, he rushed toward the sounds. When he rounded a corner, he saw Lizette being accosted by two armed men as they attempted to take her purse. He had a moment to think that this was rather creative actually, before the two men spied him. The one holding Lizette shoved her bodily toward Aramis, forcing him to dash forward and catch her to keep her from ending up face-first on the cobblestones. With him occupied, the two men took off down the alley, easily escaping as Lizette clung to him and trembled.

“It’s alright. You’re safe. Everything’s alright,” Aramis soothed as he held her. He didn’t even bother trying to go after the men, knowing they already had an escape route planned and were probably long gone. 

“Oh, Aramis,” she sobbed into his chest, her hand clutching at his doublet as she sagged against him. “Thank God you were here. Those men…”

“They didn’t hurt you, did they?” he asked, playing along. 

“No, you stopped them. You saved me.” 

She began to tremble anew, shaking even harder in his arms and Aramis had to admire her acting skills. “Come on, let me find someone to escort you home,” he said as he began looking around for any sign of Musketeers or Red Guard. He knew, of course, that she would never allow anyone else to escort her. No, she would insist on him taking her home personally. 

“No, please,” she cried out at once. “Can’t you take me? Please.”

“Of course, my dear,” he said as chivalrously as possible. With one arm wrapped around her shoulders holding her close, he began to lead her away from the market and back toward the boarding house where she was staying.

Once they reached her boarding house, Lizette insisted that Aramis come inside, saying she was afraid someone might be waiting in her room for her. Aramis tried to reason with her, telling her the attack at the market had been a random one but she had only grown more and more distressed. Knowing that to keep refusing would look suspicious, he acquiesced and followed her to her rooms, even going so far as to enter first and check each room for any sign of intruders.

“There, you see,” he said, smiling gently, aware that others might be watching and gauging his reactions. “All safe.”

“Oh, Aramis, thank you,” she sobbed as she practically flung herself into his arms giving him no choice but to hold her. She clung to him for a moment again, fisting one hand in his doublet while letting the other one stroke the small patch of skin visible within the opening of his shirt.

“You don’t have to th-“ Aramis was cut off mid sentence by the press of Lizette’s mouth over his own. She kissed him hungrily, pressing her tongue into his mouth before he could react to stop her. He barely stopped himself from jerking back at her unwanted touch, instead forcing himself to endure it.

With little other choice, he kissed her back even as he forced down the bile that threatened to rise up and choke him. His skin crawled where she touched him. He could even feel the heat of her touch through the heavy leather of his doublet and it drew an involuntary moan from him. 

Luckily for him, Lizette took his moan as one of pleasure rather than disgust. Not so luckily, it spurred her on to redouble her efforts and she began letting one hand move across his chest while the other encircled him to run up and down his back.

Aramis didn’t know how much longer he could continue. What he was doing felt like the grossest of betrayals and it made his heart want to shrivel up in his chest. The taste of her was like ash in his mouth and her hands upon him burned like brands. When he felt her hand slip back around in front of him to slide over his half-hard erection, it was too much.

Tearing himself away from her, Aramis took a hasty step back. He swallowed quickly as he thought furiously for some excuse for his actions. “I am so sorry, my dear,” he hedged. “You must forgive me, but I was to report to the Garrison after leaving the market and fear my Captain will not take kindly to being made to wait for me.”

“But surely he will understand the need to see me safely home,” she insisted as she took a step forward.

“Yes,” Aramis agreed. “Which I have now done, so must be on my way. Perhaps, another time?”

Aramis bid Lizette farewell, placing a chaste kiss to the back of her hand and hurried outside. He was not expecting to nearly collide with Athos and Porthos upon leaving and frowned at their sudden appearance, not understanding what they could be doing there.

“Where the hell have you been?” Athos demanded loudly, making sure his voice carried. 

“It’s obvious where he’s been,” Porthos added just as loudly. “And what he’s been doing. Got rouge all over his face.”

“So you leave us to deal with the Captain while you what? Enjoy a morning tryst?” Athos nearly shouted. He advanced on Aramis but nearly stumbled himself when Aramis actually took a step back from him. 

“I can’t believe we bothered to cover for your worthless hide,” Porthos sneered as he moved up next to Athos. “Won’t make that mistake again, will we, Athos?”

“No, Porthos, we will not.” With that, Athos spun around and stormed back off with Porthos right beside him. He didn’t turn around, didn’t look back. He couldn’t. If he did, he knew he would end up rushing back to Aramis and that would blow everything. 

Aramis watched his furious lovers stalk away. Their words had been like physical blows, pummeling him relentlessly, and he felt sick inside at the knowledge of his betrayal. They were so _angry_ with him. He could only image how much more angry they would be when he told them of what he had done with Lizette.

Head hanging, Aramis felt numb inside as he headed back toward their home. He would have to tell his lovers what he had done and then it would be up to them. He would accept whatever punishment they felt his indiscretion warranted without complaint. Just as long as they didn’t leave him, he would gladly take whatever chastisement they wished him to.

First, however, he had to get home and get clean again. He could still feel her touch upon his skin, just like the last time. It made him feel filthy, unclean in a way that seemed to reach all the way inside of him. Her touch was like a taint and he was desperate to rid himself of it.

Before he even had the door to their rooms open, Aramis knew the others were not there. It made his heart sink to know they had not come home. He had hoped they would be waiting for him when he got here so he could talk to them, could explain what he had done and why and beg for their forgiveness. Now, it seemed he would not even be allowed the chance.

Even more desperate to get clean now, Aramis jerked off his various weapons belts, letting them fall where they would. He tore at the fastenings on his doublet, finally getting it open and shrugged it off, letting it fall to the floor as well. His shirt came next, the lace along the collar getting torn in his haste to be rid of it. Finally stripped to the waist, he went to gather a rag and the basin of water.

As he moved past the bedroom doorway, the realization of what he had done, and what he might very well have lost, hit him all at once. His stomach clenched painfully and he dashed toward the bucket in the corner, barely reaching it before falling to his knees and being sick. 

When his body finally stopped trying to turn itself inside out, he rose shakily to his feet and finished gathering the rag and basin of water. Wetting the rag in the cold water, Aramis began to scrub himself. He started where she had touched his skin directly, scrubbing hard over and over again in an attempt to wash all traces of her vile touch from his body.

Aramis was so wrapped up in trying to rid himself of her touch that he never heard the door open and his lovers come in. He didn’t even know they were there until Porthos’ hands came to rest over his own, stopping his frantic scrubbing.

“Oh love,” Porthos whispered as he pulled Aramis back against him. “Don’t hurt yourself like this. We’re here now. We’ve got you.”

“You… you shouldn’t touch me,” Aramis said, his voice quivering. “I’m not clean.”

“Aramis, no,” Athos said as he came around in front of him. “It is not you who is unclean. Is it her touch again? Is that what has you so upset?”

Aramis nodded then shook his head, nearly choking on a sob. “I… I betrayed you,” he cried brokenly. 

“No,” Porthos told him firmly. “I don’t care if you slept with that whore, you didn’t betray us by doing it. Because we know you didn’t want to. We know you only did it to play along with her.”

“But I…”

“But you what?” Athos asked calmly when Aramis hesitated. 

“I kissed her back,” Aramis replied softly. “She kissed me and touched me and I let her and I kissed her back.”

“Love, no,” Porthos said again. “You didn’t do anything wrong. That wasn’t you betraying us. That was you doing what you had to do to try to trap these fuckers.”

“But you were both so angry,” Aramis said, bewildered. He looked up at Athos then turned his head to try to glance at Porthos. They had been enraged outside of Lizette’s boarding house but now…

“We were not angry with you,” Athos explained, realizing their mistake. “We were only trying to keep the ruse going and to ensure you had an excuse for not returning right away if you should need one. We were never angry with you, only worried for you.”

“Athos, this has to end,” Porthos said. He felt Aramis go stiff in his arms and realized it was his choice of wording. “Not us, love. Never us. I meant this ruse. You’re not doing this to yourself again. We’ll find some other way that doesn’t tear you apart from the inside out.”

“I agree, Porthos,” Athos said. “I will not see him hurt like this again. We will find some other way to get to the bottom of this.”

“I can do it,” Aramis said weakly, not wanting to give in and admit that he could not. It was the wisest plan, all he had to do was stick to it.

“We do not doubt your ability to do so,” Athos told him. “Only ours in being able to stand idly by and watch you suffer. We are the ones who cannot do it, Aramis. Not you.”

“Oh.”

“Now, would you like us to bathe you as we did before? Will that help to remove the feel of her touch from your skin?” Athos asked.

“Please,” Aramis replied, the relief and gratitude in his voice quite clear.


	27. Chapter 27

Part 27

They sat Aramis down at the table while they went about gathering what they would need. Athos hung his doublet and the weapons he had discarded on the floor while Porthos went to get fresh water and cloths. “You were sick,” Athos said, noticing the state of the bucket in the corner. “After you returned home you were so upset you were ill.”

“I… you were not here,” Aramis said softly, remembering his earlier panic at the thought of what his indiscretion might have cost him. 

“We are so sorry, love,” Athos told him again. 

Porthos came over then and set the water and rags down on the table between them. “Did you think we would not come back?” he asked carefully, trying to get to the root of Aramis’ fears. He knew his lover was being irrational. Even Aramis was aware that he was but Porthos also understood that knowledge often did little to help matters any. 

“I was not sure,” Aramis admitted. “I was sure I could get you to forgive me if I could only speak to you, but if you would not even allow me near, how was I to beg for your pardon and atone for what I had done?”

Athos swallowed thickly and had to look away. Aramis’ words were like knives to his heart, shredding it to bloody bits within his chest. “No pardon is needed and there is nothing to atone for,” Athos told him.

“But I…”

“No,” Porthos said softly but sternly, refusing to listen to Aramis even attempt to apologize for this.

“Just a moment,” Athos said as he stood up. He took the bucket from the corner and set it outside to be taken care of later. He also picked up Aramis’ torn shirt and set it on the bureau to be mended. That done, he returned to the table and urged Aramis to stand.

“You want his back this time?” Porthos asked as he handed a rag to Athos.

“That’s fine,” Athos said. It did not matter to him. All he cared about was making Aramis feel clean again.

They bathed him quietly, taking their time about it. Gradually, they felt Aramis begin to relax under their hands just as he had done the last time. They made no move to remove his breeches. If Aramis wished to go further then he would be the one to tell them, they would not make him have to deny them. They knew better than that now.

Once he was clean, Athos put away the basin and rags while Porthos helped Aramis out of his breeches and into their bed. He had tried to protest that he was not tired but both men could see what a toll this had taken on the man. Besides which, both of them wanted to be able to hold him and the easiest way to do that was in their shared bed.

It took a bit of jostling to get everyone situated but they finally managed to get all three of them in the bed with Aramis in the middle. They were undressed down to their smalls so Athos drew a light blanket over them. They stayed like that, silent and close, for long minutes until Aramis seemed as calm as he was likely to get.

“Will you tell us now why you think there is something that you need to atone for?” Athos asked. He lay against the far wall with Aramis pressed against his side. Porthos lay spooned up behind Aramis as well, his arm coming around the man so that his hand rested on Athos’ hip.

“I… I told you,” he hedged, turning his face away to hide his shame. 

“Nothing you told us falls into that category in any way,” Athos said.

“You do not understand,” Aramis whispered.

“Then tell me,” Athos urged. “Make me understand. How are you to make amends to me if I do not understand what you are attempting to atone for?”

“You… you are right,” Aramis agreed miserably. “Of course. But please, you must understand, I did not mean to.”

“Did not mean to what, brother?” Porthos asked. He could see as well as Athos that Aramis needed to talk to this out, that something had gotten twisted in his head and Aramis was blaming himself for something he had no need to. If they did not find a way to get him to talk about it, it would likely continue to fester and grow and they had all seen what that tended to do to Aramis.

“To get hard,” Aramis finally admitted. “When she kissed me… I did not want her to, I swear to God above, I did not want her to. But I had to play along and my body… I have been a whore for far too long for my body not to understand what is required of it and when.”

“Stop right there,” Porthos said. “You are no whore and I will not abide you calling yourself one, especially in this bed.”

“Porthos is right,” Athos agreed. “You are no whore. And if your body responded the way a man’s body is crafted to respond by God Himself, then I do not see a reason to hold you accountable for that. You were playing a part. Nothing more. You did not want her touch. It made you physically ill to endure it. That is more than enough atonement for us.”

“Do you forgive me?” Aramis asked them, his voice so small and insecure it made both men ache.

“For allowing you to talk us into this ruse in the first place, yes,” Porthos said. “But that is all I am forgiving you for.”

“You require no forgiveness from us, Aramis,” Athos told him. 

“I almost wish…”

“Wish what, love?” Porthos asked, catching Athos’ eye and noting the wariness there.

“Nothing," Aramis said shaking his head. His lovers said they did not blame him, that they found no fault in what he had done. Yet Aramis still felt as though he had betrayed them. Not only had he allowed that harpy to touch him, but he had responded to her like a dog called to heel. He hated that he was such a slut but he was helpless to do anything about it. Lord knew he had tried, but he could not manage to break free of it. 

"Please don't pull away from us," Athos whispered. "We understand that you are hurting. Let us help you."

"We are here and we love you," Porthos said from over his shoulder. "You need not fear, love."

"Perhaps we need to show him that," Athos said. "Maybe then he will believe us."

Before Aramis knew what was happening, Porthos had pulled back from him. Athos pushed on his chest as Porthos tugged him backward and he soon found himself sprawled on his back blinking up at the other two men. 

"Much better," Porthos grinned before leaning down and kissing him softly. He was careful to move slowly, mindful that Aramis was still teetering on the verge of being overwhelmed. He did not want to push him too far right now but he needed him to see that nothing had changed, that they were still there. Together.

"Don't be greedy, Porthos," Athos admonished when the man made no move to relinquish Aramis' mouth.

Porthos pulled back reluctantly and chuckled. "Sorry," he said. "He just tastes so good. I couldn't help myself."

"I cannot blame you," Athos murmured as he leaned in for his own taste. "I have always found him to taste singularly divine."

Aramis couldn't hold back his moan when Athos began to kiss him. He felt out of control, like he might fly apart at any moment and the only thing holding him together was these two men. He could feel his body responding, so much stronger than it had with Lizette. This time, he didn't fight it. He relished in the feeling, knowing he was safe to do so.

"Yeah," Porthos said, pressing against Aramis' side so he could feel his erection through his smalls. He began kissing his shoulder while Athos kissed his mouth and let his hand stroke back and forth across Aramis' belly. Aramis was one of the most tactile people Porthos had ever known. He needed to be touched, especially by his lovers. From the way he was writhing between them right now, it was clear they were not providing nearly enough. 

Eventually, Athos drew back from Aramis' mouth. He had a moment to admire his lover's red, swollen lips before Porthos was nudging him aside so he could kiss him again. The helpless sound Aramis made when Porthos took his mouth went straight to Athos' cock and he had to bite back a moan of his own. Leaving Porthos to enjoy Aramis' mouth, Athos began kissing along his shoulder, trailing his mouth down his chest. He kissed his way to one taut nipple and began to lightly suck at it, wanting to pleasure Aramis but not overwhelm him. 

When he felt Aramis start to squirm beneath the two of them, he pulled back and started kissing downward again. He stopped at his belly button this time, licking and sucking at it, nibbling at the muscles of his belly as they tightened and relaxed under his ministrations. He could hear him gasping and mewling as Porthos kissed him and wondered how much was due to Porthos and how much was due to his own efforts. He promised himself that sometime soon they would spread Aramis out between them and see which of them could make him moan and gasp the loudest, but that was for another time. Tonight was simply for pleasing their lover. 

Porthos pulled back from Aramis' mouth with a chuckle, his hand coming up to cradle his cheek. He glanced down to see what Athos was doing that was exciting him so much. When he saw him, he completely understood. 

"I want to suck him," Athos said, raising his head and looking and Porthos.

"So do I," Porthos laughed.

"I want his cock," Athos clarified. "You can suck... something else." The wicked smile on Athos' face let Porthos know exactly what he was referring to.

"You...you could..." Aramis began then trailed off.

"Could what, love?" Athos asked. If there was something Aramis wanted he would gladly give it to him.

"You could have me," Aramis said softly. "We have not yet. Porthos and I... But not us."

Athos moved back up the bed so that he was level with Aramis. "I love you so very much," he told him. "And I look forward to the day when we are together that way again. But I would have tonight be for you, for showing you how very much you mean to us, how very much we love and cherish you. May we show you that?"

"That is not necessary..."

"It is very necessary," Porthos broke in. "You think you have somehow betrayed us and that we will hold that against you or think less of you for it when the exact opposite is true. You have not, nor have you ever, betrayed us. Believe me, Aramis, we know what it is like to betray someone you love. You have never done so."

"Porthos, that is in the past," Aramis said softly. "And it is forgiven."

"Forgiven is not forgotten," Porthos said.

"And those that forget the mistakes of the past are doomed to repeat them," Athos added. "I, for one, never wish to repeat that particular mistake. Now, please, let us show you how we feel for you."

"Yes, alright," Aramis whispered, nearly overwhelmed by the sincerity of his lovers' heartfelt words.

"How do you want to do this?" Porthos asked. He was intrigued by Athos' idea but unsure of how to make it work.

"I thought I would lie down on the bed and have Aramis lie on top of me with his feet at the head of the bed," Athos explained. "That way he can rest without having to worry about holding himself up and you can...do as you wish with the rest of him."

"You mean I can taste his sweet ass all I want while he's moaning and writhing on top of you, his cock down your throat?" Porthos said, his voice low and rough. "You sure you can take it?"

"I took you, didn't I?" Athos reminded him. "But I shall keep my hand on his leg. If I have difficulty, I will tap him on the leg to let him know. Aramis, is that alright with you?"

"Ye-yes," Aramis stammered. "But...are you sure? I don't...I mean...you do not..."

"I want to," Athos told him gently. "I liked it, with Porthos. I have wanted to do so again but I have not wanted to distress you by saying so. I would like nothing more than to feel you that way as well."

"I..."

"Please," Athos said softly.

"You will tell me at once if it is too much," Aramis told him.

"On my honor," Athos told him. 

"I love you and I never want to do anything to hurt you," Aramis said.

"I know, beloved," Athos replied. 

It only took a few moments for them to get comfortable on the bed, stripping Aramis out of his smalls but leaving theirs on. Athos moved down a bit and laid on his back then Aramis carefully climbed on top of him, making sure to leave enough room at the head of the bed for Porthos. Knowing it would make Aramis more comfortable, Athos reached up and wrapped his hand around the base of Aramis' cock so he couldn't thrust all the way into his throat before guiding it into his mouth.

Aramis moaned at the feel of Athos' hot mouth engulfing him. He couldn't help but rock his hips forward, driving himself deep into Athos' mouth, the man's hand the only thing preventing him from being choked. He felt so out of control he barely knew what to do as his lovers seemed to touch him everywhere at once. Athos' lips and tongue were working greedily along his shaft making him pant and buck in an effort to get deeper still.

Just as he felt on the verge of being overwhelmed, Porthos' hands gripped his backside. The touch was calming at first, soothing and grounding as Porthos' touch always was. That quickly changed, however, when Porthos spread his cheeks apart, baring his hole. He had a moment to think about what was going to happen then Porthos' tongue was there, lapping wetly over his hole. He jerked forward at the sensation but Porthos' strong, sure hands held him in place easily. After that, it was as if his lovers were in a race to see who could drive him out of his mind first. 

Once Athos was certain Porthos had a good grip on Aramis' hips, he let go of the hand he had wrapped around his shaft. He trusted Porthos not to let Aramis thrust too hard and injure him and Athos wanted to feel him like this, taking him this way. The first time Aramis shoved in, hard and deep, burying himself to the hilt, he cursed and tried to pull back but Athos hung on and refused to let him. Instead, he sucked and laved the hard flesh filling his throat and thrilled at the sounds he drew from the other man.

Even though Porthos could not see them, the sounds his lovers were making enflamed him. His own cock throbbed and ached in his smalls but he ignored it, concentrating instead on the man spread out before him. Parting Aramis' cheeks a bit wider, he drove his tongue in as far as he could, gratified with the strangled moan it seemed to pull from Aramis' very soul. He could feel the man shaking in his hands as he licked and nibbled at his hole, fucking it with his tongue again and again as he sought to make him spend between them.

"Please! Please!" Aramis shouted as he began to thrust back and forth wildly between them. He was shoving his cock all the way down Athos' throat only to push back against Porthos' tongue in a vain attempt to get more of it inside him.

His lovers simply let him go, using their hands only to guide him and ensure that he did not fall. Both were content to allow him to use them as he would for once, encouraging him to seek his own pleasure and worry for theirs later. They knew the encounter would not last long. It couldn't, no matter how much they wished they could keep giving him this.

Aramis himself was already lost to it. His body knew nothing but the maddening need to spend. He felt buffeted on all sides, blinded by the pleasure they heaped upon him and he rutted against them seeking his release. Before he could even warn them, he was there. His body seized as every one of his muscles tightened at once, then he was shoving his cock straight down Athos' throat as far as he could and spending as he roared.

They stayed with him, gentling him through his pleasure and the aftershocks. Athos sucked on him softly, mindful of how sensitive he could be while he cleaned him with lips and tongue. Porthos did likewise, licking Aramis' hole carefully, wanting to soothe rather than enflame this time. By the time Athos let his softened cock slip from his mouth and they laid his spent body out on the bed, he was quivering in delayed reaction. Understanding what he needed, both men stretched out next to him, one on either side, and pressed close against him letting him feel the solid weight of their presence.

"Are you alright?" Athos asked when Aramis' shaking had tapered off.

"Yes," Aramis replied, burrowing down into his chest the tiniest bit more. "But I have neglected the two of you."

"Hush now, love," Porthos told him. "This was for you."

"To attempt to demonstrate how infinitely precious you are to us," Athos said. 

"To show you that we love you," Porthos added, kissing Aramis' shoulder softly as he did.

"And prove to you that you are, and always will be, ours," Athos finished.

&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M

Athos left Aramis wrapped in Porthos' arms, sleeping soundly. He had not wanted to get up and leave their bed but his errand could not wait a moment more. He was done with this charade. He was done watching his lover tear himself to bits in an attempt to protect them from an attack that might very well never come. There was no proof that Milady was behind this. Even if she was, Athos would rather face her outright than allow Aramis to destroy himself in this way. The cost was simply too great. If she wanted him, she was welcome to come for him. Athos would meet her head on. What he would not do was allow Aramis to use himself as a shield between the two of them any longer.

Thankfully, Athos knew where Lizette's boarding house was. All he had to do was pick an out of the way corner and wait. While he could just go up and knock, he preferred keeping any interactions with the woman as circumspect as possible. He was not sure who might be watching and had no wish to give away more information than was truly necessary.

As luck would have it, he did not have long to wait. Shortly after sun up, Lizette emerged from her boarding house and headed toward the market, no doubt hoping to run into Aramis either along the way or en route to the garrison. That ended now. Slipping from the alleyway where he had been waiting, Athos fell into step beside her, grabbing her elbow when she made as if to stop and turn. "We need to have a talk," he said, his voice low and urgent. When she acted as if she might jerk away from him, he tightened his grip to just the other side of painful, making it clear that she could come along peacefully or he could drag her kicking and screaming, the choice was hers.

"Of course, Monsieur," she said, inclining her head and trying not to wince at the pain of his grip.

Athos nodded back and quickly marched her over to a deserted storefront. He shoved her against the wall and leaned in close, his face mere inches from her own. "I will only say this once," he told her menacingly. "Stay away from Aramis. He is not yours. He never has been and he never will be. Am I clear?"

"And if Monsieur Aramis wishes to be mine?" She dared.

"He doesn't," Athos told her. "You have been warned. Come near him again and you will not like the consequences." With that, he spun around and strode back the way he had come. He did not bother to look over his shoulder at her. He could feel her eyes on him but he could also tell that she had not moved from where he had shoved her against the wall. He hoped she paid heed to his words. He did not like the thought of hurting a woman but that did not mean he would not do so, especially if she meant to do some harm to Aramis.

As quietly as he could, Athos slipped back into their shared rooms. He quickly divested himself of his weapons and doublet then went back into the bedroom. He saw Porthos eyeing him from the bed and nodded. He knew the man would understand what he meant. It was done now. The ruse was up. Lizette had been warned to stay away from Aramis and they would do their level best not to let the man out of their sight until the matter was resolved. Come what may, they would face it together.

&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M

When Aramis awoke it was to such a feeling of warmth and security that he immediately tried to retreat, not wanting the harsh light of reality to infringe upon it. It was a futile endeavor, of course, and he knew it. Even if he could manage to simply go on sleeping his companions would soon wake him. Or rise without him. That thought was the worst of all and Aramis forced himself back to wakefulness simply to avoid it.

“Sleep well?” Athos asked when Aramis began to stir. He had not gone back to sleep after his visit with Lizette, too much on his mind.

“Extremely,” Aramis replied. “Have you been awake long?”

“A little while,” Athos said dismissively. 

“What is it?” Aramis asked. He could tell something was bothering the other man. He could always tell when something was not right with one of his brothers.

“You may as well tell him,” Porthos chuckled. “He’ll only badger you until you do and he has a right to know.”

“That he does,” Athos agreed, though somewhat reluctantly. He had a feeling Aramis was not going to be pleased with what he had done. Still, it had been necessary.

“Athos?” Aramis queried suddenly worried. Had something happened while he was asleep? Surely Lizette had not…

“Calm yourself,” Athos said gently. “Nothing has happened. I just ran a brief errand this morning while you were still asleep.”

“An errand? What kind of errand?” Aramis asked suspiciously.

“I paid a visit to Mademoiselle Lizette.”

“Athos, no!”

“It is already done,” Athos told him. “All I did was inform her that you were now off limits. She has been warned. She will stay away from you now.”

“And if she does not?” Aramis asked.

“Then she will not like the consequences. You are ours, Aramis, and we are done pretending otherwise.”

Aramis stared at his lover lying beside him. The force of his words was like a blow and he reeled from it. To hear such want, such blatant possessiveness from this man made something inside of him crack and ache. Athos spoke of ownership, of belonging, yet Aramis still had not taken that step with him. He had mended his relationship with Porthos, restoring it to what it once was, but not with Athos. He had offered last night, but Athos had declined. Aramis understood that they had wanted last night’s encounter to be about him, about showing him what he meant to them. Now, however, it was his turn. 

Slowly, Aramis began to extricate himself from his lovers’ arms. They let him go, both frowning worriedly as he pulled away from them. Athos opened his mouth to say something, apologize, explain, something, but Aramis placed a finger over his lips, stopping him. He had no idea what the future held in store for any of them, but he knew he could not go one moment longer with this… this divide still between the two of them. 

Up on his knees, Aramis leaned down and replaced his fingers with his lips, kissing Athos deeply. He did not pull back until he felt the man relax beneath him, giving himself over and moaning softly into his mouth. As he continued to kiss Athos, Aramis reached toward Porthos until their hands met. He twined their fingers together and held on, needing his lover’s steady presence just then. He was not sure why he was suddenly so nervous, but he was. He knew Athos wanted him, wanted this with him, yet he was almost afraid to make the offer again.

“It’s alright, love,” Porthos whispered as he moved up behind Aramis so that he was once again pressed between him and Athos. “We’re here. We have you.”

With a great deal of effort, Aramis forced himself to pull away from Athos’ kiss. He licked his lips, savoring the way they still tingled. “I know you are,” he told Porthos as he continued to lock gazes with Athos.

“Then what is it?” Porthos asked, the grip Aramis had on his hand telling him something was amiss.

“I suddenly find myself nervous,” Aramis admitted.

“About what?” Athos asked, his voice husky with arousal.

“About offering myself to you again,” Aramis told him. 

“Why would you be nervous about that?” Athos asked. His heart had started to hammer in his chest at Aramis’ words and he could feel his cock swelling in his smalls. He wanted so badly to be with Aramis like that again but he would not push. It would happen when Aramis was ready for it, when he felt he could trust him like that again, and not before. Athos would wait until Judgment Day for that if he had to.

“Because I wonder if you still wish to lie with me after everything you have learned,” Aramis replied. “And before you say it, I know I am being foolish, however that does not make the feeling go away.”

“You are, as you say, being quite foolish,” Athos told him. “But I can understand as well. It is not as if I have not despaired of the same thing these past weeks. I know you love me, that you still desire me, but do you trust me enough to give yourself to me in such a manner? Will you ever trust me like that again? These are the things I ask myself. I have yet to come up with a satisfactory answer.”

“Oh, Athos,” Aramis gasped, closing his eyes at the sudden sting of tears. “I trust you, I do. I have for… for ages now. That is not why. I trust you completely, with every part of me.”

“And I love you just as completely,” Athos told him. “Every part of you. Even those parts you are not proud of, that you cringe from. I love them because they are part of you and there is nothing about you that I do not cherish.”

Aramis let his forehead come to rest against Athos’ own, his eyes still firmly closed to try to hold the well of emotions rising within him at bay. Licking his lips again, he leaned down and kissed him softly then pulled back and opened his eyes once more.

“Will you make love to me, my Athos?” 

“I would like nothing more right now,” Athos told him. 

Porthos smiled at his lovers, gladdened and relieved to see them finally reuniting. He began to pull his hand back from Aramis’, intent on moving off the bed and allowing them their time together but Aramis tightened his grip, refusing to let him.

“Love?” Porthos asked, confused.

“Stay,” Aramis said softly. “Please.”

“I would have you stay as well,” Athos said. 

“This time is for the two of you,” Porthos smiled at them, touched that even now they would think of him. “I will not be far.”

“Please, brother,” Athos said softly, knowing the quiet plea would stop Porthos faster than anything else. 

“Athos was with us in the woods,” Aramis tried to explain. “I would have you here as well when he and I…”

“Oh,” Porthos said suddenly understanding. “Of course. I would consider it a privilege to share in this with you both.”

“Then will you prepare him?” Athos asked. “As I did for you in the woods.”

“Gladly,” Porthos told him. He used the hand holding Aramis’ to pull him forward. He wrapped his arms around him and kissed him deeply, moaning softly at the lingering taste of Athos on his tongue. When he pulled away, he pushed him back toward Athos then quickly climbed off the bed to get the items they would need.

When Porthos returned to the bed with not only the oil but a basin and rags to clean up with afterwards, he found Aramis lying on top of Athos kissing him languidly. The sight was enough to stop him in his tracks and he simply watched for a moment, enjoying the picture of Aramis, naked and rubbing himself against Athos as they kissed.

“You two are enough to make me spend right here,” Porthos growled as he set down the basin and climbed back onto the bed with the pot of oil.

“Then you might want to take off your smalls,” Athos suggested, pulling his mouth away from Aramis just long enough to do so before kissing him again.

“Think I better leave them on,” Porthos replied. “This time is for you two. I don’t want to get carried away.”

Athos pulled his mouth away once more, kissing along Aramis’ jaw to soothe him. He wound his legs around the other man’s then spread them, pulling Aramis’ legs open as well and making him moan. “You didn’t spend last night,” Athos pointed out to Porthos. “Will you actually deny yourself this morning as well?”

“I don’t want…”

“We want you to,” Aramis gasped as he squirmed against Athos. The way Athos was holding him left him feeling open and exposed. Normally, he would hate being so vulnerable, but not here, not now, not with these men. 

“Get him ready for me,” Athos husked, as he clamped down ruthlessly on his arousal. The weight and press of Aramis atop him was making his cock ache and when he moved it was all Athos could do not to roll him over and simply take him.

Understanding his brother’s growing need, Porthos quickly picked up the oil. He coated two of his fingers liberally with the slick fluid then set it aside. He nodded at Athos and the man spread his legs wider, pulling Aramis’ even further apart and exposing his hole. Porthos wasted no time and ran his fingers up and down his cleft before placing one slick digit against his hole.

He could feel that Aramis was still at least slightly relaxed from the previous night as he sank his finger inside of him. He did not pause but pressed in until it was all the way inside him, his palm flat against Aramis’ backside. He could feel Aramis shaking slightly as he held himself still for a moment, then pulled his finger back and began to slowly fuck him with it. 

The moan of pure, unadulterated pleasure that came from Aramis hit both men low and hard. Athos felt his cock twitch in his smalls as Aramis ground against it. Porthos own cock was achingly hard as the feel of that tight heat encasing his finger transmitted itself elsewhere. One finger quickly became two as Aramis’ body opened up to them. Athos had captured his mouth again, thrusting his tongue inside of it in a prelude of what was to come. 

All at once, Aramis twisted his mouth away from Athos and pushed up. “Enough,” he gasped as he looked over his shoulder at Porthos. “Enough. I’m ready. Please.”

Porthos thrust his fingers in and out of him a few more times, both to make sure Aramis was indeed ready and to watch the way he responded, his body bucking back onto his hand of its own accord. He nodded to Athos over Aramis’ shoulder then, letting him know that the man was right, he was ready. Pulling his fingers free, Porthos wiped them on one of the cloths and helped move Aramis until he was off of Athos and spread out on the bed once more.

“How do you want me to take you?” Athos asked as he shed his smalls and slicked his cock.

“Like this,” Aramis replied. “I want to be able to see you. I want to know it’s you taking me at last.”

That was more than Athos’ fragile control could take. He gripped Aramis by the thighs and pushed them up high. Bracing his legs with one arm, he took hold of his cock with his free hand and guided it into position. He locked eyes with Aramis then and began to push. There was a moment of resistance then Athos was breeching his body for the first time in months.

Both men moaned when Athos finally slid inside him for the first time. He stopped once the head was inside, wanting to give Aramis a chance to adjust. Aramis, however, had other ideas and hooked his legs around Athos. He drew him forward then, forcing him to sink the rest of the way into him without pause.

“Aramis…” Athos groaned in a combination of admonition for rushing himself and heartfelt bliss. 

“Take me,” Aramis gasped, his head thrashing from side to side as he tried to process all of the sensations and emotions cascading through him at once. “Please. Take me, please.”

It was a command Athos could not deny and he pulled back and thrust forward slowly. When the only sound it drew from Aramis was one of pleasure, he did so again a bit harder. Soon, he was taking his lover without hesitation, reveling in the feel of Aramis all around him. Aramis had not been the only one to think this lost to him forever and Athos was having a hard time keeping his emotions in check. 

“I am close,” Athos gasped out much sooner than he would have liked. But it felt too good to finally have this again and he could not hold out.

“So am I,” Aramis moaned. “Spend inside me. Let me feel you. Please, my Athos.”

With a curse, Athos slammed forward and began to spend, Aramis’ words pushing him over the edge before he could catch himself. He could feel his cock pulsing as spurt after spurt of his seed filled his lover’s body and he shook and moaned over him.

A second later, Athos felt Aramis go rigid beneath him, then his body was clamping down on Athos’ cock, causing him to yell out as Aramis began to spend as well, striping his chest and belly with his seed even as Athos filled him up with his own.

When it was over, both men spent and panting, Porthos helped Athos to pull out of Aramis and lie down beside him. He quickly cleaned them both up, knowing what they needed now was to be close to each other. Once they were seen to, he joined them in the bed and covered the three of them with the blanket once more.

“What about you?” Aramis asked.

“Spent myself when you two did,” Porthos told him. “Now be quiet and rest.”

&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M

“Well well well,” Milady said as she paced in Lizette’s room. “I guess that answers the question about whether they are more than simply brothers.” 

“Now what do we do?” Lizette asked. “I’ll never be able to seduce him now. Even if I did manage to get him alone for long enough, it would never work.”

“No,” Milady agreed. “Looks like I’m back to just killing him.”

“Seems like a waste after all the time and effort we put in,” Lizette said.

“I didn’t say I was going to make it quick,” Milady grinned. “Or painless. He will suffer and my dear husband will suffer right along with him, watching as he dies.”

“You have a plan then?”

“I always have a plan.”

&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M

“We need to let the Captain know what’s going on,” Athos said when they finally managed to get out of bed. 

“Yeah,” Porthos agreed. “Constance and d’Artagnan, too. They need to know things might get a little riskier now.”

“I’ll go and inform the Captain. He can pass the word along to d’Artagnan and Constance,” Athos said, but Porthos’ hand on his arm stopped him.

“Not this time. You two stay here. I’ll go see the Captain.”

“Porthos…”

“If it is Milady then you’re the one she’s really after,” Porthos said as patiently as he could. “We’re not leaving Aramis alone, but we’re not leaving you alone either. Not for something as simple as this.”

“He is right,” Aramis said softly before Athos could argue further. “I do not like it any more than you do, but he is right.”

Porthos dressed and headed toward the garrison quickly. He wanted to get back to his lovers as soon as he could. He knew they were not in much danger, not together and in their home, but he still didn’t like being apart from them. Things were coming to a head and quickly. They needed to stay on their toes if they were going to come out of this unscathed.

While Porthos made his way to the garrison to take care of informing their friends of the changes in their plan, Athos and Aramis decided to get dressed as well. Once Porthos was back, they could go out and get some dinner to celebrate the end of that horrible charade, though it would not be at the inn they had been frequenting. Aramis would prefer to never set foot in their again after this. He thought perhaps someplace closer to home, closer to the garrison, where his fellow Musketeers were sure to be as well. It was not that he expected an attack in broad daylight. It was more the surety that something was coming. He did not know what and he did not know when and that was making him edgy. 

“You alright?” Athos asked when he noticed Aramis fidgeting with his medical kit for the third time.

“Not really,” he admitted. 

“What’s wrong?’

“I’m nervous. I know something’s coming and it’s setting my teeth on edge.”

“Mine, too,” Athos told him. “But we’re aware of it and we’re on guard for it. There is little else we can do save continue to be vigilant.”

Aramis was about to reply when a hasty knock interrupted him. He glanced at Athos but the man was already drawing his pistol. He reached out and Athos handed him his own then he went to answer the door. He was surprised to find a young boy of about nine or ten standing on his doorstep holding a folded piece of paper.

“Monsieur Aramis?” the boy asked.

“Yes,” Aramis replied, tucking the pistol back behind his leg so as not to frighten the child.

“Was told to give you this. Said it was right important.” The boy held out the piece of paper and waited. As soon as Aramis took it, he was off like a shot. Aramis frowned then stepped back inside, closing the door behind him. 

“What’s that?” Athos asked seeing the folded paper in his hand.

“A messenger gave it to me and took off,” Aramis said. He unfolded the piece of paper and felt the blood drain from his face at the four hastily scrawled words: 

_Come at once. Constance._

“Aramis?” Athos called when he saw his lover suddenly pale. 

Aramis looked up at him and thrust the note toward him. “We have to go. Now,” he said as he grabbed the rest of his weapons. 

&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M

“Oh don’t look so worried, you two,” Milady said as she paced back and forth in Constance’s kitchen. “Aramis will be here soon and we’ll be on our way.”

“They’ll kill you if you hurt him,” Constance said, worry gnawing at her insides like rats on a grain sack. She had not wanted to write that note. She had refused, saying she would die before she betrayed her friends. Milady, however, was shrewd. It had not been Constance’s life she had threatened and, in the end, she had done it. Even now, she could not bring herself to so much as glance in d’Artagnan’s direction. If anything happened to Aramis because of this, she would never forgive herself. And neither would he.

“I have no intention of hurting him,” she said loftily just before allowing her smile to turn bitter. “I intend to kill him. Brutally. So brutally, in fact, that when my dear husband finds what is left of him, it will destroy him.”

&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M

As they rushed toward Constance’s house, Aramis thought about stopping at the garrison to alert Porthos and the Captain. Just as quickly as the thought came, he dismissed it. The garrison was much closer to her home than Aramis’ lodgings were. If this was something that the Captain could help with then she would have sent word there. She had not. She had sent word for them… for him… and he would not abandon her.

“You know this could very well be a trap,” Athos said as they neared the house.

“I am aware,” Aramis replied. 

“Be careful,” was all Athos said. He knew Aramis would not turn back, would not wait, and let him go in first. If Constance or d’Artagnan were in danger then he would come to their aid regardless of the danger to himself.

Aramis did not bother trying to be circumspect. He went to the front door and knocked loudly. If he did not get an answer, he was prepared to break the door in. He need not have worried. He had barely finished knocking when the door swung open to reveal Constance. The brokenhearted look of misery on her face told Aramis all he needed to know and he stepped into the house, aware that something sinister awaited him. 

“It is alright,” he whispered to her. “I know you had no choice. No matter the outcome, you are not to blame for any of this.”

“Oh Aramis,” she said, barely holding back a sob as he gave her a brief hug and moved further into the house. She saw Athos follow him, not having realized at first that he had come too and panic seized her. What would Milady do when she realized she had both of them? Would she exact her revenge right here and now? Was she going to have to watch Aramis die as well?

“Might want to catch her,” Milady said as she noticed Constance about to collapse. 

Aramis didn’t hesitate, even as he felt ice crawl up his spine at the sound of her voice. He wrapped his arm around Constance’s waist and helped her in to the kitchen and over to a chair. Sitting her down, he stroked her cheek once, trying to offer what support he could.

“I’m so sorry,” d’Artagnan slurred from the corner of the room, drawing both men’s attention. As soon as they saw him, they understood why Constance had written the note. The entire side of d’Artagnan’s face was covered with blood and one eye was swollen almost completely closed. 

“I’m sorry they hurt him,” Aramis whispered to her. “You did the right thing.”

“Aramis…”

“Hush now,” Aramis told her. “You need to worry about yourself and d’Artagnan. Athos and I will be just fine.”

“I don’t know if I’d go that far,” Milady chuckled. “But he’s right to say they aren’t your problem any longer.”

“Let them go,” Athos said, his voice clipped and angry. He was furious at what had been done to d’Artagnan, yet another brother hurt by this hateful woman. He wanted to strangle her with his bare hands for that, for bringing Constance to tears, for this entire nightmare. 

“Now why would I do that?” she asked, giving Athos her full attention.

“Because you have me,” he told her. “You have no need of them any longer. That is your goal, is it not? Me.”

“You are my goal, I will give you that, but not the way you are thinking. I have no plans to harm you, Athos. I don’t want you dead. That would be far too painless a fate for the likes of you, dear husband.”

Athos felt his heart clench at her words and tried desperately not to show it. If she did not want him dead then she wanted him to hurt. And what better way to do that than by hurting Aramis. A fact that she had quite obviously figured out for herself. 

“Ah, now you begin to see,” she smirked. “So here is how this will work. You will lay all of your weapons on the table. The both of you. If you try anything, I will shoot d’Artagnan in the face. Then you can watch while Lizette slits Constance’s throat. Am I clear?”

“Quite,” Aramis said for both of them as he began unfastening his weapons.

“Ar’mis…” d’Artagnan slurred groggily.

“Be quiet, Whelp,” Aramis told him. “For Constance’s sake if not your own.”

“Isn’t love a wonderful thing, Lizette?” Milady crowed as she watched the two men divest themselves of their weapons. “See what it can drive a man to do. How it can make him throw himself upon the pyre, knowing it will mean his death in the futile attempt to spare the life of one he professes to love.”

“Athos and Porthos will kill you for this,” Aramis said, attempting to appeal to her sense of self-preservation though he knew it was probably useless.

“You are assuming Porthos does not kill Athos outright for this,” she replied. “This is, after all, his fault.”

“None of this is his fault and Porthos knows that,” Aramis shot back. “He will never hold Athos to blame for this. You will not break them by killing me.”

“We shall see.”

&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M

When Athos finally began to come around he wasn’t sure where he was at first. As his eyes began to focus and he made out Aramis sitting across the room from him, strapped down to a wooden chair, reality came rushing back. He looked around wildly, searching for any sign of Milady or Lizette. When he saw no one, he tried to stand and realized he was tied down as well, his arms bound behind him. 

Taking a deep breath, Athos tried to fight down his rising panic. He had no idea where they were or even how long he had been out. Lizette had hit him over the head with something when they were still at Constance’s. That was the last thing he remembered. 

Not wanting to give away the fact that he was now awake but not knowing what else to do, Athos called urgently to his brother. “Aramis. Aramis!”

“I am here,” Aramis said somewhat stiffly from the chair he was tied to. He wished he could turn his head and at least look at his lover. He knew the other man had to be growing more distraught with each passing moment but he was powerless to do anything about it. Not bound as he was, hand and foot with a thick, metal collar around his throat just waiting to be tightened.

Athos frowned at the reply. Something was off. Aramis had not moved so much as an inch. He had not even turned his head in Athos’ direction when he had answered. “What’s wrong?” he called out, uncaring now if he alerted anyone.

“I’m afraid Aramis is at a bit of a disadvantage,” Milady said as she came into view. 

“What have you done?” Athos demanded hotly.

“Nothing really. I just made sure he couldn’t go anywhere before you decided to join us again.”

“Aramis?” Athos called out, tired of her cryptic answers. “Aramis, look at me.”

“I can’t,” Aramis replied. “I cannot move. The chair I am bound to has a garrote attached to it. I… I am so sorry, Athos.” 

“No,” Athos snarled, looking at his wife with murder in his eyes. “You cannot do this.”

“Why not? You had me hung after all. But since we both know hangings can be rather unreliable, I thought I would go with something I could control directly.”

“He has done nothing to you,” Athos said, trying to appeal to any sense of right and wrong that might somehow still be inside of her. 

“He taught you how to love again,” she sneered. “That is crime enough for me.” She moved over behind the chair and grasped the wheel at the back. Slowly, she began to turn it, tightening the collar around Aramis’ neck and gradually cutting off his air.

Aramis felt the metal band around his throat start to grow tight and began to breathe as deeply as he could. He knew he would soon lose the chance and wanted to give himself as much time as he could. All too soon the band cut into his throat, forcing him to take much smaller, panting breaths. He could feel the metal squeezing the sides of his neck as well, threatening to cut off the blood flow. If that happened, it would render him unconscious quickly. Aramis had a feeling Milady would not allow such a thing. It was much too painless a death for him, and therefore Athos, to endure.

As the garrote tightened, he tried to find a way to get free. If he could just get his hand free, he could do something, but he was tied too tightly. The lack of air was beginning to take a toll, making his movements sluggish and weak. He turned his eyes toward Athos, wishing he could see him properly one last time, even like this. It was not how he wanted to remember him, or how he wanted Athos to remember him, but he would take comfort where he could find it right now. 

“Take me!” Athos shouted when he saw Aramis begin to squirm as much as his bonds would allow. He could hear him gasping for breath and tears filled his eyes only to run down his cheeks a moment later when he heard her crank the wheel again. “Take me, damn it! I’m the one who hurt you. I betrayed you. Not him. If you want to kill someone, kill me!”

“Kill you?” she laughed loudly. “Why ever would I kill you when I can do this to you instead?”

Aramis heard Athos’ desperate shout and opened his mouth to yell back but nothing came out. How dare he try to throw his life away! Aramis did not want to die, for what sane man truly did, but he would do so and gladly if it spared his lovers. The sound of Athos’ pain, however, tore at him and he wished he could ease him in some way. But what could he possibly say to make this any easier? He was going to die while Athos was forced to watch, both of them helpless to save the other from their fate.

Athos could hear Aramis wheezing and he fought against the ropes holding him with all his might. The sound of his wife cackling as she turned the crank again, cutting off Aramis’ air completely, made Athos nearly retch. He watched helplessly, even as he fought to get free, as Aramis’ own struggles began to die down. He saw his legs slow their movement until they barely twitched. No sound came from the other man at all as the life was slowly leeched from him.

“No. Please. No.” Athos started to weep as the realization that he was watching his lover die washed over him. With a last look at Aramis, he called out in a strangled voice, “Wait for us.”

Aramis felt his world starting to dim and knew he did not have much longer. He hated Milady with every fiber of his being in that moment. He hated that Athos was being made to witness this. He hated that his lover’s last vision of him would be of his death. He hated that hatred was the last emotion he was to feel before leaving his world. Exhausted and unable to hold out any longer, he said a short prayer, praying for strength for his lovers to get through this, to be there for each other, then the world faded to black, the sound of Athos’ words… wait for us… ringing in his ears.

Milady was so intent upon the destruction of her husband that she almost missed the sound of horses approaching. Frowning, she motioned for Lizette to take one of the men and check on it while she finished this. She was not about to leave now and miss Athos watching his precious brother die. 

The sound of muskets being fired quickly changed her plans. She refused to be thwarted, however. Not this close to victory. With an enraged snarl, she jerked a dagger from her belt and plunged it to the hilt in Aramis’ stomach. The man did not so much as flinch and she thought he might very well be dead already. If not, her dagger in his guts would surely seal the deal. Blowing a kiss to her screaming husband, she ran toward the back entrance and the horses waiting there.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Many thanks to Snow_Glory for all of her help throughout this entire story. I could not have done it without you!

Part 28

Athos sat by his lover’s bedside, Aramis’ too cold hand held in his own, his entire attention focused on the weak rise and fall of the man’s chest. Porthos was dozing in a chair on the other side of the bed, having temporarily succumbed to his exhaustion. Athos, however, refused to sleep. He could not. Every time he closed his eyes, he was thrust back into that nightmare again, forced to watch as the life was slowly choked from his lover. 

That had been three days ago and still Aramis had not stirred. He had not awoken on the ride back to the garrison, nor when the surgeon had gone about sewing him up as best he could, stating it a miracle that Milady’s knife had missed everything vital. Still, he had lost a great deal of blood and had been without air for several minutes. Neither of which boded well for his recovery. 

As Athos sat with him, watching him simply breathe and more thankful for the privilege than he would have ever thought possible, he recalled their chaotic rescue. He tried not to remember his wife burying her blade in Aramis’ tender belly, the man already a hairsbreadth from death. What he did recall was Porthos. Porthos storming into the room like an avenging angel, intent on taking back what was his. 

Athos smiled sadly at that thought, thinking Aramis would have liked that, seeing Porthos as the possessive one for once. Athos tried to clamp down on the sob that was forcing its way out of his throat and mostly succeeded. He didn’t want to wake Porthos now that he was finally getting some rest. He didn’t know what they were going to do though, if Aramis didn’t wake up. It had been bad enough before, when they had nearly driven Aramis from them. At least then there was a chance to win him back, to earn his forgiveness, to rebuild. It couldn’t all end like this. They couldn’t have gotten him back only to lose him all over again. Athos didn’t think he could take it if that were so.

“How is he?” Captain Treville asked as he quietly entered the room. They had brought Aramis to the garrison after his rescue and had not moved him since, the doctor cautioning that his condition was far too fragile to endure such a thing. Instead, Athos and Porthos had all but moved in to the infirmary. Not having the heart to try to force them from his side, he had simply made sure someone checked on the trio regularly and left them to their vigil. Their Musketeer brothers had understood and had rallied around the men, offering silent support and a wall of protectiveness that Treville knew Athos and Porthos were both grateful for.

“No change,” Athos said, the words bitter on his tongue.

“No change is not worse at least,” Treville reminded him. “He is fighting. We can’t lose hope now.”

“I have not lost hope,” Athos told him, his eyes never leaving Aramis even as he spoke to the Captain. “Hope is all I have left. But I am far too much a pragmatist to delude myself. He holds on, yes, but every day he does not improve…”

“You have not lost him yet, Athos,” Treville said. “And he would not wish you to follow him if you did.”

“I know,” Athos replied, though he said nothing else. He had told Aramis once before that there was no place he could go that he and Porthos would not follow him and willingly. It seemed he might be given the chance to put paid to those words now.

Treville sighed, hating feeling so helpless. He wished there was more he could do for them. They had gone through so much, struggled and fought their way back to each other. He could not believe that God would be so cruel as to take Aramis from them now. 

“I’ll have some food brought in for you two and some broth for Aramis. Try to eat some of it. That’s an order,” Treville said.

“Yes, Sir,” Athos replied dutifully. He didn’t care about feeding himself, but he would make sure Porthos ate something and they would spoon what broth they could into Aramis. “Any news from d’Artagnan?”

“Not yet,” Treville answered. While they had captured Lizette and most of Milady’s men, the woman herself had managed to escape. As soon as he had found out, d’Artagnan had set out after her, heedless of his own injuries, determined to make her pay for what she had done to all of them. Recognizing the futility of trying to stop him, Treville had merely assigned his two fastest Musketeers to accompany him and let him go. 

“He should have been back by now,” Athos frowned, his worry for the young man rising. 

“He has men with him. Good men,” Treville assured him. “And it has only been three days. I know it must seem like so much longer in here.”

“Yes,” Athos agreed. “You will let us know as soon as you hear from him?”

“Of course.”

“You’re worried,” Porthos said once Treville had left the room. He had awoken while they were talking but had kept quiet, not wanting to interrupt them. 

“He should have been back by now,” Athos said. “Or at least have sent word. I do not like him going after her without us by his side.”

“Neither do I,” Porthos admitted. “But he had the right. After what she did to him and Constance…”

“I know, but I still do not like it. She is dangerous. You have seen how dangerous she can be and the more desperate she grows the worse it becomes.”

“Like Treville said, he is not alone,” Porthos tried to reassure him. “He has brothers with him. And he knows her well enough not to underestimate her. He will be alright, but if he has not sent word by tomorrow, we will speak to Treville about sending someone after him.”

They need not have worried. The trio returned to the garrison that night and they could tell from the thunderous look on d’Artagnan’s face that their quest had not been successful. “What happened?” Athos asked as they pulled him into Aramis’ room and made him sit down so they could look him over.

“I don’t know,” d’Artagnan said disconsolately. “We were on her trail and gaining and then it just went cold. She had someone waiting for her. She had a back-up plan and had someone waiting to whisk her away. I’m sorry, brothers.”

“Not your fault,” Porthos told him. “You tried. We’ll go after her again once Aramis is back with us.”

“How is he?” d’Artagnan asked, though he already knew the answer. It was evident in the haggard expression Athos wore and the tiredness that hung around Porthos like a cloak. Aramis was still with them, but barely so.

“He has no left us yet,” Athos said, trying to find some way to say it that did not sound like he had given up hope. 

“He will not, if he has any say in the matter,” d’Artagnan told him.

Treville came and bundled d’Artagnan off home a short time later leaving the three men alone once more. They sat in silence, each holding one of Aramis’ cool hands, trying to transfer some of their own warmth to the other man in the hopes it might stir him.

After a while, Porthos looked up at Athos, his face set in a mask of determination. “I want to try something,” he said.

“What?”

“I want to bathe him,” Porthos said. 

“The doctor cautioned about letting him become chilled,” Athos protested.

“We will use warm water,” Porthos argued softly. “It has brought him back to us before. We need to do something, Athos, or we are going to lose him.”

Athos closed his eyes as the truth of those words sank in. Porthos was right. If they did not do something to try to draw Aramis back to them, they were going to lose him. “Alright. Let me call for hot water and towels.”

&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M

Aramis felt like he was floating. His body was weightless, as if his arms and legs did not exist. He knew this wasn’t right but at the moment he didn’t care. It was better than the alternative, he was sure. He remembered all too well, the horrible suffocating death Milady tried to inflict upon him. He could remember the metal collar growing tighter around his neck as she turned the crank, his air becoming less and less as his throat was constricted. No, floating was a much better alternative.

As peaceful as it was here, though, Aramis knew he would have to make a choice soon. He was on a precipice, teetering between two worlds, and it was up to him to choose which one he tumbled into. One world held pain and fear and God alone knew what permanent damages. The other offered peace… peace and rest and safety. 

Aramis would have thought the choice quite simple. Something held him back, though. Something kept him from simply hurling himself headlong toward that light that promised an end to fear and pain and suffering. 

“Wait for us,” Athos had called out to him before everything went dark. And wait for them he had. It was why he lingered now, waiting for his brothers to join him so they could tumble over the precipice together. As he continued to float, Aramis wondered why it was his brothers had not joined him yet. Athos had told him to wait and he was, but they had not come. Had something delayed them? Had something happened to them to keep them from meeting him here? 

A cold wind came out of nowhere, making Aramis shiver. _‘They are not dead,’_ the wind whispered to him as it faded away and Aramis frowned. Dead? Of course they were not dead. Why would they be dead? 

More words came whispering on the wind this time. _‘How else are they to join you here? Only the dead may walk these halls.’_ Aramis shook his head in denial, refusing to believe. He was not dead, not yet. He knew that much. He was close, though, but Athos had told him to wait for them. 

&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M

Sitting on either side of him, Athos and Porthos began to slowly bathe their lover. They started with his hands and worked their way up in concert with each other. As they would bathe a part of him, they would dry him as well, not wanting to risk him catching a chill. They were not sure if it was helping Aramis or not, but both men found it soothed their jangled nerves to simply touch and tend their stricken lover. 

Athos tried not to tell himself it was probably the last time he would ever do this, save when he bathed Aramis’ body for his burial. He struggled to hold on to the hope that Aramis would somehow pull through, that he would be able to survive all that had been done to him, but it was growing more and more difficult. He had to face the facts. They were losing him. He was dying right before their eyes and there was nothing he could do about it. 

‘ _Wait for us,_ ’ he had cried out to him. Now he had to wonder if that was the only reason Aramis still lingered. 

“Stop it,” Porthos said softly never ceasing his tender ministrations.

“I was not doing anything,” Athos replied.

“You were giving up,” Porthos told him. “You were saying good-bye to him in your head. He has not left us yet. We will not give up on him.”

“I am not giving up,” Athos countered gently. “But I can only lie to myself for so long.”

“Lie a little longer then,” Porthos said, the desperate edge in his voice unmistakable.

“Alright,” Athos told him, unwilling to destroy what small bit of hope Porthos still retained. 

&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M

Aramis felt something change and frowned in concentration as he tried to discern what it was. A moment later, he felt it again – a sensation of warmth on his hands, rubbing into them then being wiped away. From there it moved slowly up his arms, stopping again every little bit to be wiped away before continuing.

The strange sensations had almost reached his shoulders before he figured out what they were. He was being bathed. His lovers were bathing him. Suddenly, Aramis felt the precipice he was on begin to teeter alarmingly. He was running out of time. He would have to make his choice soon. He would either have to choose to go forward to the peace that called for him, or he would have to return to that world of pain and fear. 

But his brothers were not here yet. He could not go forward without them. 

Could he?

Aramis felt the world shake again even as warmth gently bathed his neck. He could feel himself being pulled in two different directions and didn’t know what to do. He did not want to go back to the pain. He knew he was hurt and badly. He did not want to return to that but to go on would be to do so without his brothers. 

A memory came to the surface then and Aramis cringed. _“If you think for one second that there is anywhere we would not willingly follow you then you are a fool, brother,” Athos had told him as they had sat at his table. “…wherever you go, we shall follow, even unto hell if that is where you see fit to lead us.”_

Now Athos’ words, “wait for us”, took on an entirely new meaning, a meaning Aramis did not care for in the least. He shuddered at the thought of his brothers dying because of him. As much as he wanted to be with them, wanted them to be with him, he would never wish them to die to do so. No, that could not be allowed to happen, but the only way for Aramis to prevent it was to be there to do so.

Choice made, Aramis turned back toward the light and watched it fade into nothingness. He would not leave his brothers behind, no matter how much pain and suffering he had to endure. He felt the wind start to gust around him again and before he knew it, he was rushing along, back to the world he had refused to leave behind.

Athos and Porthos both jumped when Aramis let out a low moan and his eyes began to flutter. They held their breath, scared to even blink. Finally, after what seemed like forever, Aramis managed to open his eyes enough to see their blurry silhouettes. When he opened his mouth to speak and nothing came out, Athos quickly covered it with his fingers and shook his head.

“Don’t try to talk,” Porthos said as tears ran down his face. “Your throat’s still too bruised.”

Aramis blinked at them, trying to convey that he understood even as the idea of no longer being able to speak terrified him. Still, he reached out with trembling hands, groping for his lovers, needing to feel them.

Both men quickly took his hands in theirs, holding them tight. Athos still had not managed to speak, too overcome by the fact that Aramis was awake, that he had somehow come back to them again. He held his hand instead and let his tears fall as they would.

&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M&M

Athos and Porthos were less than thrilled as they headed home from the garrison. Captain Treville had assured them that the manhunt for Milady would continue and that she would remain a wanted criminal throughout all of France. Still, it rankled to know that she was out there, running free, after everything she had done to them. 

“I’d give my entire year’s pay for five minutes alone with that bitch,” Porthos grumbled. 

“As would I,” Athos agreed. 

“Her and that bastard, Tristan, both,” Porthos continued. 

“I cannot speak about Tristan for if Aramis does not wish to help us locate him, we will not have an easy time of it,” Athos said. “But she cannot hide forever. Not if she chooses to remain in France.”

“You think she will?”

“Yes,” Athos said flatly. “I think her hubris too great to allow her to do otherwise.”

“If I get her in my sights, Athos, I won’t hesitate to kill her,” Porthos told him.

“I suggest you do so quickly then or you will find that I have beaten you to it.”

When they arrived back at their home, they found Aramis sitting at the table waiting for them. Just seeing him sitting there felt like a miracle. How the man had escaped any permanent damage from Milady’s attack none of them knew, but the surgeon said he expected him to make a full recovery. Indeed, he was mostly healed now, the only thing not yet recovered being his voice.

Both men walked over and kissed him lightly then sat down at the table with him. “No sign,” Porthos said grumpily then smiled when Aramis covered his hand with his own.

“Treville will keep looking and will make sure her picture is posted throughout France. If she shows her face, we’ll have her,” Athos told him.

“Good,” Aramis said softly then waited. It was the first word he had spoken since the attack over three long weeks ago. 

“Aramis?” Athos said, his eyes widening in shock. The doctors had all said he would get his voice back in time but after so long he had begun to have doubts.

“You can talk!” Porthos exclaimed a moment later. He sprang up from his seat and pulled Aramis up and into his arms, hugging him tightly. 

Athos stood and joined them, wrapping his arms around Aramis from behind, his arms encircling Porthos as well. They held him between them and all three of them felt the remnants of their fears draining away. They doubted if it would be the last they saw of Milady but at the moment, they didn’t care. Everything they cared about was here and safe and whole once more. Nothing else mattered.

Epilogue

Now that Aramis’ voice was coming back, they knew he was well and truly on his way to being whole again. Athos wanted to do something to celebrate that fact as well as the fact that they were all finally together as they should be once more. He had racked his brain, trying to come up with something until he finally recalled their time together in the woods. 

Aramis had shared his darkest fantasy with them and he and Porthos had told him that, one day, they would make it a reality for him. Athos thought that might be just the thing they all needed, a way for the three of them to come together as they had not before and a way for him and Porthos to once again show Aramis how very much they cherished him.

Athos told Porthos and made the arrangements with Treville. While there was no reason to be cautious now, he still preferred for someone to know where they were going, just in case. With the arrangements made, they packed up what they would need for a few days and headed back to the secluded clearing they had made use of before. 

Athos had made sure to bring along plenty of oil and had told Treville not to come looking for them for at least four days. He was not sure how up to riding Aramis might be afterwards and wanted to give the man time to recuperate before they were forced to return. 

When they got to the clearing, they quickly set up camp. Aramis was curious as to what his lovers were up to. They had only told him they were going back to the woods for a few days, nothing more. He knew they had something in mind, though. The way they kept looking at one another was a dead giveaway.

“So are you two going to tell me what you’re up to?” Aramis asked as they sat around the fire they had already started.

“I thought we might fulfill the fantasy you told us of,” Athos said. He watched Aramis carefully, gauging his reaction. What he said next would depend a great deal on how he reacted to the idea at all.

“My fantasy?” Aramis asked, unsure what Athos meant then he remembered and blushed hotly all over. “Oh. Are… are you sure?”

“Yes,” Athos said firmly, taking in the way Aramis blushed and looked down. “And I believe I would like you to call us Sir while we do so.”

“Oh,” Aramis moaned his whole body going hot and cold at Athos’ words. “Yes, Sir. Oh yes, Sir, please.”

“Then strip for us and spread out the blankets,” Athos told him, using his most aristocratic voice, the one he knew Aramis responded to the most when like this.

Aramis quickly did as he was told, stripping out of his clothes and folding them neatly in a pile. He then spread the blankets out, making a thin pallet, so Porthos would not be pressed into the hard ground when both he and Athos were on top of him.

“It’s ready, Sir,” Aramis said once he had everything in place. 

“Look at you,” Porthos said as he moved over and cupped Aramis’ jaw. He had been a bit unsure about going this route when Athos had suggested it but seeing how much Aramis was enjoying it he relaxed. “Such a good boy. So eager for us. So ready for us to use you.”

“Yes,” Aramis nearly sobbed. His knees felt weak and he had to grab onto Porthos’ arm for support. “Yes, Sir. I am. I want you both so badly. Please…”

“Shhh, easy now,” Porthos soothed. “We know what you want and we’re going to give it to you. We’re gonna fill that greedy little hole of yours so full you’ll think we’re gonna split you in two.”

Aramis surged forward then and kissed Porthos hard, unable to hold himself back. He knew he was not behaving properly, that it was for his owners to decide how to use him, but Porthos’ words had set him on fire and he could not help himself.

“Eager indeed,” Athos commented drolly.

“Sorry, Sir,” Aramis said, blushing as he pulled back.

“No need for that,” Athos told him. “We want you eager. We want you panting for it, panting for our cocks to fill you up. Tell me, Aramis, will you cry as you did in your fantasy?”

“I… I don’t know,” Aramis admitted. He never had before, unless they were tears of pain and he knew Athos did not mean that. 

“I guess we’ll have to find out for ourselves then. Lay yourself out on the blankets and spread your legs. I do believe Porthos is eager to start as well.”

Aramis quickly lay down in the center of the blankets and spread his legs wide. He blushed when he realized how wanton he must look, his cock hard and flushed and his legs spread wide and eager. He took in the hungry look on Porthos face as he sank down between his legs and felt some of his nerves calm. It always calmed him to know that his lovers looked at him with want in their eyes when he was like this rather than turning away in disgust at the whore he once was.

Taking up the oil, Porthos slicked his fingers then pushed Aramis’ leg up, exposing him even further. Athos had knelt down next to his head on the blanket and was watching Porthos avidly. Porthos let his oiled fingers trail up and down Aramis’ cleft before coming to rest against his hole. He paused then, circling his finger around the rim then slowly pushed it in, not stopping until his hand rested flush against Aramis’ bollocks. 

Aramis gasped at the feel of Porthos’ finger sinking into him to the hilt, not expecting him to move quite so quickly. Before he could even close his mouth, Athos’ fingers were there, filling his mouth just as Porthos filled his ass and making Aramis moan loudly. 

By the time Porthos had two fingers sliding into Aramis’ both he and Athos knew they needed to get out of their clothes if they didn’t want to end up staining them. They paused for a moment, stripping down quickly then retook their positions. Aramis had watched them strip from his place on the ground, his eyes wide as he took in their state of arousal, knowing it was due to him. When Porthos settled back between his legs, he pulled them back himself, baring his body to the man to do with as he would.

Remembering another part of Aramis’ fantasy, Athos gripped his cock by the base with one hand and fisted the other in Aramis’ hair. He turned his lover’s head toward him and pressed his hard cock against his lips demanding entrance. When Aramis’ opened his mouth, Athos shoved forward, burying himself in the man’s mouth and biting off a moan of his own at the hot, wet feel of it.

Aramis felt like he was in heaven. Athos’ cock was filling his mouth and Porthos’ fingers were filling his ass, both of them fucking into him as they pleased, unmindful of his own wants and desires. They were using him, taking his body and making it theirs, as if they owned him and Aramis relished in the familiar feelings.

Sooner than he would have liked, Athos pulled his cock free. He needed to if he was going to last at all when it came time to actually fuck Aramis. It was going to be hard enough not to spend as soon as he managed to get his cock inside of the man along with Porthos’. 

“About ready for you,” Porthos told Athos as he pulled his fingers free and poured yet more oil over them. This time when he pushed them back inside, he shoved all four of them in.

Aramis felt his entire body freeze and he keened long and loud when Porthos shoved four slick fingers inside of him. He had never been so filled by these men before and his body clenched and shook as it struggled to remember how to accommodate so much so fast. 

It was nearly overwhelming, to be so taken, and he knew it would only get worse. His body no longer felt like his own and it wasn’t. It was theirs now, to be used as they saw fit. Aramis gave himself over to the feelings then, letting them wash over him and take him away. He knew he was safe, that Athos and Porthos would not harm him, that he could break himself down utterly and trust in them to put him back together again.

“Make him make that sound again,” Athos growled when Porthos elicited a particularly wanton sound from Aramis. 

Porthos grinned and shoved his fingers in deep, twisting them as he did and making Aramis keen wildly again. Like Athos, the sound went straight to his cock, making it throb and ache and he couldn’t wait to be able to shove it inside the man lying beneath him right now.

Athos knew it was time and gave Aramis a last kiss before moving down between his legs next to Porthos. He slicked his hand as well and began carefully worming a finger in beside Porthos’ own. Aramis felt incredibly tight around Athos’ finger and he groaned softly at the thought of that tightness around his cock. 

Slowly, mindful not to hurt Aramis, they stretched him. By the time Athos was ready to add a second finger, they had to hold Aramis’ hips down to keep him from squirming too much. He was moaning and keening almost constantly and his cock was stiff and rigid against his belly. 

Aramis thrashed his head back and forth as he tried to move his hips. Two pair of strong hands held him down, though, preventing him from moving and stuffing him full. He had not been filled like this in years and even then it had never been like this. He felt like he could not take any more, could not possibly fit any more inside of himself, but still Athos pressed in more. Aramis felt hot tears sting his eyes and begin to run down his face into his hair. He sobbed then, unable to hold it back, as they took him. 

“Are we hurting you?” Athos asked when he heard Aramis sob and looked up. Seeing the tears running down his face made him want to pull Aramis into his arms and soothe him and shove into him even deeper at the same time. 

“No,” Aramis gasped, his body shuddering in reaction. “Just… so full. So full, Sir. Oh…”

“Athos, I don’t know how much longer I can wait,” Porthos panted as they continued to play Aramis’ body. 

“Please,” Aramis begged, hearing Porthos’ words and growing even more desperate. He needed them, but even more, he needed them to use him. “Please. Take me. Oh take me, Sirs.”

“Do it,” Athos said, pulling his fingers free. He waited until Porthos had done the same and moved out from between Aramis’ legs then he pulled Aramis up and into his arms so Porthos could lay down where he had been. 

“Are you sure?” Athos asked him, wanting to check one last time as he gently kissed away the tears on the side of Aramis’ face.

“Please,” Aramis begged as he all but writhed in Athos’ arms.

“Alright,” Athos said. He guided Aramis down on top of Porthos, directing the man to hold on to him until Athos could get them both ready. Athos then quickly slicked Porthos’ cock and held it at the base, then pressed it up against Aramis’ slick and loosened hole. 

Aramis gasped and Porthos cursed loudly when Aramis slid down his cock, taking him to the hilt without stopping. His body was as open as he had described in his fantasy and Porthos had to resist the urge to start thrusting up into it, seeking his release. 

“Athos, hurry up,” Porthos ground out as he held Aramis as still as he could, his cock nestled inside the man’s tight, hot channel.

Athos quickly slicked his hand again and began working a finger back in, this time alongside Porthos’ cock. All three of them groaned at the feeling, each experiencing it in a slightly different way. For Athos, the feeling transmitted from his finger down to his cock, letting him know what he had to look forward to. For Porthos, it was the tightest he had ever felt Aramis. Even with all the extra stretching, Athos’ finger in there more than made up for it. For Aramis, however, the sensation was the most intense. He had not been this stretched in years. And he had never enjoyed it like he was now. He had never been able to trust his partners enough to truly let go. This time he could and closed his eyes, giving himself over completely to the sensations rolling through him one after the other.

“An-no-no-nother,” Aramis stammered after a moment, wanting to feel the burn of being stretched like this. He wanted to feel them taking him, them making his body submit to their desires and whims. He wanted to be used by them for their pleasure alone and gasped and shuddered at the thought of it. 

Athos hesitated a moment, knowing it was probably too soon, but slicked his hand again and began working a second finger in beside Porthos’ cock. He heard Aramis shout and Porthos curse loudly but he did not stop. His lover wanted this, had demanded it even. Besides, he knew what to do if he needed to call a halt to things and Athos could tell he was not genuinely distressed, instead only pushing himself.

When both fingers were sliding in relatively easily, Athos pulled them out. He had thought about making him take a third but he didn’t think Porthos could hold out that long. Instead, he oiled his cock and moved up behind Aramis, his chest pressing into his back as he nudged his cock against his stretched hole.

Aramis moaned when he felt Athos move up to cover his back, his cock pushing at his hole. His whole body was on fire and he needed his lovers to quench it. He tried not to tense up when he felt Athos position the head of his cock and begin to push then Porthos’ arms were clamping down on him and Athos’ teeth were sinking into his neck as the man’s cock forced its way into his body alongside Porthos’.

“Fuck,” Athos swore as the head of his cock finally breeched Aramis’ tight channel. It felt like a vise was strangling his cock and he had to fight to keep from shoving forward hard and fast to bury himself in the other man. He knew Porthos was not in any better shape as the man moaned beneath them. He could feel his thick cock twitch as Athos’ own stroked it and groaned again as he inched his way inside.

Aramis was completely lax. He lay pliant on top of Porthos as Athos pushed and shoved, battering his way into his body one inch at a time. He felt totally broken, but not in a bad way. He was broken _to them_. He was theirs to use as they wished, his own pleasure coming from the knowledge that he had pleased them so well.

“Won’t last long,” Porthos ground out when Athos was finally all the way inside. Aramis had all but collapsed on top of him, giving himself over to them completely. He could feel Athos’ cock throbbing and twitching against his own and knew they had to do something or they would end up spending just like this.

“Neither will I,” Athos admitted. He pulled back then and thrust forward hard, earning another curse from Porthos and a strangled sob from Aramis. 

“Yeah, fuck him, Athos,” Porthos gasped. “Fuck us both.”

“With pleasure,” Athos said as he pulled back again and thrust forward just as hard. He did it once more then quickly established a rhythm that had him fucking into Aramis hard and fast, his cock rubbing against Porthos’ as he did and driving the man mad. 

Porthos could feel himself getting close, his body unable to hold out any longer. He was about to warn his partners when he felt Aramis go stiff between them and then cry out loudly as his body clamped down on the two cocks pummeling him. A moment later, he felt Aramis’ seed spurting between them, slicking both their bellies as the man shook and moaned.

The feel of that hot, tight channel clamping down on them was enough to push Porthos over the edge and he thrust into Aramis hard and fast as his own release slammed through him. Athos soon followed, unable to hold himself back with his lovers moving so wildly beneath him. He cried out loudly and slammed forward as hard as he could as his cock began to pulse, filling Aramis’ body with their mingled seed.

Athos, being on top, had no choice but to recover first. As carefully as he could, he pulled out of Aramis’ body. Even so, he heard Aramis let out a whimper and frowned. Next, he helped Porthos slip free of him as well, causing Aramis to whimper again, then moved him over so he was laying down on the blanket beside them.

Taking up a cloth, he quickly wet it and began wiping Aramis down, cleaning his spend from his chest and belly before spreading his legs and gently dabbing at him. He examined him carefully, relieved to see his hole was only red and swollen. He pressed the damp cloth against it, hoping to soothe the irritated flesh before pulling it away and helping Aramis to get comfortable. 

As Athos cleaned Aramis’ body, Porthos had taken another cloth and began to wipe his face, cleaning away the sweat and tears from earlier and bringing him back to them a little bit. “Love? You okay?” he asked as he and Athos then began to clean themselves up.

“Yes,” Aramis croaked, his voice strained from overuse.

“Was it as you imagined it would be?” Athos asked as they lay down on either side of him.

“Oh no,” Aramis replied. “It was… it was so much better than that. I have never… I did not think it possible… Thank you both. So much.”

“We love you,” Porthos told him, kissing him softly. 

“Yes, we do,” Athos added, pressing a kiss to his forehead and settling in beside him.

END.


End file.
